Marry Someone Handy

Keeping with the marriage theme from Monday (okay it was marriage and eating)…

Here’s some excellent advice I received from Junebug many years ago.

I do feel it is important to document her words here because I want to pass them on to my kids and be sure they don’t get lost in translation over the years.

“IF YOU HAVE TO GET MARRIED, for goodness sake, MARRY SOMEONE HANDY.”

That might be paraphrased a tiny bit.

I’d like a little credit for following that advice when I’ve been known to do the exact opposite of any advice she was doling out for free through the years.

PhilBillPaul is as handy as they come.

I know there are jealous women who only wish their husbands could be half as handy as he is. They have asked to hire him. I know I could rent him out.

But who really wants a grouchy handy man? Seriously, he’s not super nice when he gets dirty, especially if he has to work on electrical or plumbing. He would rather clean his fish tank. Or look on craigslist for girlfriend motorcycle parts.

Being handy ruins his weekends.

All this and I will confess right now, I’m glad I’m not a guy.

Keep in mind I run a pretty tight ship as household manager. I am excellent at delegating. High on my list of accomplishments is teaching four children life skills that will take them far in the world. Not bragging, just stating the facts that I’ve spent the bulk of motherhood teaching them to do things for themselves instead of waiting for other people to do it for them (especially their mother as they will all confirm).

Mr. Handy has been busy fixing ANOTHER leak this past weekend. This special leak was discovered when our water bill went from approximately $35 a month to $88 last month.

Thank goodness we have piles of money lying around and we just throw it out the window for anyone who drives by so they can catch it and do whatever they want with it.

I really do appreciate how much we can save in home repairs being married to Mr. Handy. For him though, it’s not just about saving money – he loves the challenge of solving and fixing the problem. He is a fixer and the more a problem baffles him, the more he digs in (pun intended) to figure it out.

Me – I’d call someone every time.

Opposites attract, I hear.

Meanwhile PhilBillPaul has spent the last week digging up pipe from the front yard water meter to under the porch.

This is after he established the leak was not in the house. The sink flood on my birthday does not count. That was just The Grunter yanking a towel out from the cabinet and breaking the pipe. Therefore he is not financially responsible for this new whopper of a leak.

Scary Baby was kind enough to take pictures of all his hard work and dirty tools.

Side note: Scary Baby got a little feisty about all the dirt and mud he got on her gardening tools. Including THE HANDLES. Notice her little fingers barely holding the dirty handle.

Poor PhilBillPaul has had to crawl under the porch and dig.

I can barely step outside thinking of what all he might discover under the porch so I stay in my bedroom sanctuary and type blog posts and take naps and pray nothing poisonous bites him.

I’m also baking and cooking up a storm so I don’t feel as guilty that I’m clearly failing as a feminist and acting like a prissy girl because I don’t want to get any mud or dirt on me.

But I’m rooting him on.

I’ll make him some pumpkin bars because they are his favorite as soon as I have water.

Maybe Scary Baby will be brave enough to crawl under the porch and deliver one to him…

Update: We have water. We are currently not discussing the white pipe in the front yard. I’m certain he has a plan for that. I repeat, we have water. That’s all that matters.

Any great marriage tips you received from family or friends? Do tell! Share in the comments.