Some people have some strong reactions when I say I’ve been out of town. Whether it’s a weekend or a two weeks.
Sometimes it’s just lighthearted joking. Sometimes it is envy.
I’m pretty sure that sometimes there is a bit of judgment about me being selfish or not being a very good “stay-at-home” mom.
I don’t miss the irony of being home and wanting to leave.
While I’m proud and grateful to be able to be at home since The Grunter was born, I have also been very vocal about my need to leave and have time away from my husband and family.
Luckily I have Nice Dad who always does an excellent job when I travel.
I started traveling on my own for both business and pleasure when the twins turned one.
Mostly for health reasons.
My mental health.
Though I know my sanity is still in question, I know that leaving home has been my saving grace as a woman.
We wear a lot of hats as women and we are genetically predisposed to take care of everyone else — usually before we take care of ourselves.
One of the reasons PhilBillPaul “gets me” is that he really gets that I need some personal space and he gets that I am a better wife and mother when I come back home!
I’ve encouraged other women friends to make some time for themselves. I have friends who rarely, if ever, have left their husband and/or children to treat themselves to some “me” time.
I’m not necessarily talking about a trip – for some women it can be just a few hours. For others it’s a few days. For me, a few weeks can be nice. 😉
Some of them have actually taken my advice and just seemed to need permission from another adult, i.e. a friend to say it is okay and normal to both need and want to leave home sometimes!
Some of them insist they don’t need any time to themselves.
Some say “their turn will come.”
They worry me – like the perpetually happy, perfect people who make the rest of us look bad.
I learned a long time ago that I have to take care of me.
When a tiny amount of guilt creeps in about my desire to leave home, I remember what I’m trying to teach my kids.
What is important to me is that they see a mother who isn’t afraid to take a break, a mom who isn’t superwoman or even pretending to be! They also need to see that dad is more than capable of taking care of his children.
Maybe I’m a little paranoid about what “some people” think. Then again, maybe not.
I wish I could tell you I cared about what “some people” think or say about me. But I don’t.
I do care deeply about the people I love and who love me. It may be a small number of people and I’m pretty sure the number fluctuates on a daily basis – just check with my family.
It is because I do care that I keep leaving…
…so I can come back home.
Do you leave? Do you want to leave but never do? I’d love to hear how you find time for yourself.
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