In the Weeds

Surely, you didn’t miss the top news story on Friday (that shouldn’t have been the top news story).

Don’t panic, I won’t be regularly reviewing the behavior of professional athletes. I just couldn’t let this one go because I’m such a huge golf fan.

Photo courtesy of powerbooktrance

How do I apply to be part of Tiger Woods Damage Control Crisis Management Team?

First, let me address the positive points. Okay, make that point.

The only thing I did agree with – that the media should not chase Tiger’s children or wife because of his grave mistakes.

Here are a few suggestions if I were on Team Tiger’s P.R. staff:

•Hire people who will tell you the truth.

Typically, these would be old, married women/mothers (like me) who are not speechless in the presence of your self-perceived greatness.

Having “yes” people falling all over you is that last thing you need right now.

•Speak from your heart, don’t read from cards.

Use a bullet point list with keywords to trigger your memory.

Come on, are you telling me you can’t memorize your heartfelt apology but you can memorize every golf course, every shot you’ve ever taken?

Seems like it would be a perfect time for you to use that steely determination and ice cold competitive edge to stand up and take your punishment.

Lose the script ~ no one wants to hear a highly scripted apology. You actually had to look down at your notes to remember the 2nd descriptive adjective your team had written about Elin.

•Work on your level of sincerity.

You’ve been arrogant for so long it’s time for some real sincerity and that takes a lot more change and practice. I just didn’t feel it.

Is there a rehab for celebrity arrogance?

Tiger’s Special Rules

You said you thought your success and life of privilege led you to think you could live by a different set of rules.

Your well-orchestrated apology with all your special rules like banning most of the media and handpicking your audience shows that you still think you have a separate set of rules.

We all know that the media wouldn’t be banned if you were making some big golf announcement.

You have impacted the lives and livelihood of others with your poor choices and your giant ego.

You have tarnished the game of golf — one of the last of the sports that we can still refer to as a “gentleman’s game.”

Newsflash

Yes, you are held to a higher standard than the rest of us.

Because that’s what happens when you choose to become a sports star, sign million dollar endorsement deals trying to influence our buying decisions and become a billionaire.

Believe it or not, there are more important things than the public hearing about your marital problems. But as voyeurs into the life of the rich and famous, it comes with your job. You chose this life and you chose the behavior.

You can’t keep it all private when you left a trail of evidence for the world to see and hear. Your lack of discretion has created a sad and nasty peek into your life that frankly, none of us ever wanted to know about.

Own it.

Stop trying to control everything.

Start being human.