Flexible Friday #15 Squirrel Issues

If you are a regular reader then you already know I have issues…

My issue of the day is…

SQUIRRELS

Thanks to Julieann’s comment about that yummy bean cake on Wednesday, she gave me the perfect segue to my already planned post about SQUIRRELS…

How do we go from Pork-n-Beans cake to squirrels?

I have always had squirrel issues. Rats with bushy tails. I don’t like squirrels.

My current squirrel issues are directly related to my hormone issues from last year which have subsequently created sleep issues and sent me spiraling into The Black Hole discussed here and here and here.

We have a new visitor who has been visiting our roof.

This squirrel is leaping onto our roof from a tree branch and runs along the gutter.

First I hear the faint thud as he lands on the roof. Then he creeps up to my bedroom window. Which is approximately four feet from my pillow and starts chewing on the window sill.

The sound is deafening. And it wakes me up.

And I have sleep issues.

And I hate squirrels.

Luckily, I’m married to handy dandy PhilBillPaul and his trusty handy assistant, Roger Leroy.

They ignorantly bravely went out on the roof with a chain saw to trim the branches so the Satanic Squirrel (SS) would stop eating MY HOUSE.

Nothing more comforting than seeing your daughter handing your husband a chain saw through your bedroom window. Note her enthusiasm if you can see it in the darkened photo.

Please forgive the poor quality photos thus far. I am not a SQUIRREL or CHAIN SAW photographer.

Hasn’t even phased SS – he keeps coming back.

PhilBillPaul thinks he can get SS with The Grunter’s crossbow. I have nixed this idea as I think a dead squirrel in my yard with an arrow sticking out of it might incite some animal-loving neighbors.

I don’t want any trouble.

I just want uninterrupted sleep.

We’ve been told a squirrel trap is our next option.

Lucky for me, we’ve had squirrel hunters living with us for many years.

The Grunter and his assistants have been hunting squirrels since 1997.

Problem is they’ve never caught one.

But darn it, that was a very cute moment when I asked The Grunter what he was doing and he told me the girls were his lookouts so he could catch a squirrel.

Now, I need to address another part of Julieann’s comment…

That Pork-n-Beans Cake was a recipe from food-loving Americans and because she inferred it might have come from people in Kentucky who eat possum and SQUIRREL or some other southern state, I bring you this highly scientific data I retrieved from the allrecipes.com website about the locations of those who loved BEAN CAKE:

Texas, Ohio, New York now living in Portland, Kansas, Canada, Ohio now living in Pennsylvania, Idaho now living in Nevada and Florida.

NOT ONE MENTION of Kentucky, Alabama, Tennessee, Georgia, etc.

So my friend, Julieann, just because you moved out West and are no longer here in Georgia, don’t despair. I’m betting you can find squirrel at some restaurant in California!

P.S. In all fairness, I must confess that my Grandad was a Midwest squirrel hunter back in the day. I certainly remember that he and my uncle and cousins would go squirrel hunting and Imogene cooked it. I’m getting queasy again…

Sally – send me that great picture of Grandad and your brother proudly displaying their squirrel vermin.

So you see, squirrel huntin’ and eatin’ are really not necessarily Southern thangs!

Anyone else here NOT from the South ever hunt and/or eat squirrel? I think the Pork-n-Beans cake would be a lovely side dish. Don’t forget to add the bacon bits and peanuts.

Okay, seriously now…I’m sick.