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Real life. Real lessons.

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Rants

She’s Baaaaack . . .

Wednesday, July 1, 2009 By Sherra

scarybaby

Scary Baby is back home.

With a new Texas-Bohemian look.

This means the end of The Grunter’s short-lived “I’m an only child again” phase.

It also means he can start blaming one of his sisters for putting the toilet lid up and not flushing.

I kid you not.

While we were in the 3 week “only child” phase, he actually said he did not put the lid up and he always flushes.

He’s totally busted after blaming his sisters for many years that they are sooooooo gross and he always flushes. (I’m just talking about pee here – seriously even my gross kids aren’t that gross.)

Big fat lie.

Totally gross.

But not as gross as what he has to deal with at work.

*** W A R N I N G ***

This may make you stop going to the movies.

Or at least wonder what the heck is wrong with people?

This was our text message conversation with him last week while we were in North Carolina. I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried…

Side note: Do not read while eating.

The Grunter (TG): Somebody made a poo on the floor of a theatre again.

Me: A baby or a grown-up poo?

TG: Grown up poo

TG: Or maybe a small horse

Me: Wow did u have to clean it up?

TG: Yes

Me: Where was the poo located specifically?

TG: Located on the floor in the front row.

Me: Did you get a gift card?*

TG: Nope I got nothing

Me: Publix should be looking good right now

Me: Any toilet paper near the pile?

TG: Nope the horse didn’t wipe. His butt is gonna itch…

*This is the 2nd incident. The 1st one he only smelled but never located until a movie patron located it IN A SEAT where they sat down IN IT. When the 3 lucky employees had to clean it up, they all got generous gift cards from the managers.

PhilBillPaul affectionately refers to this as a “Code Brown” from his year of hotel employment when they would walkie talkie each other when there was an incident in the pool. (Caddyshack anyone?)

Soon, I will be unable to function in public.

For some reason, our family (Grandma included) finds this cry-tears funny but also utterly disgusting. We actually made him call Grandma and relay the story to her on the phone after dinner last night.

Let me tell you, I inspect the seats before sitting down now.

Grandma has a good visual in her head of some poor soul (like me) walking in with thin sandals and slipping in the floor variety. (I’m trying to refrain from using the word “poo” too many times.)

So many unanswered questions.

WHO? WHEN? And most of all…WHY?

Anyone? Anyone?

I tell you he really earns those free movie tickets.

Another proud mom moment.

Thanks for letting me share.

Leave a comment and let me know if you laughed or you unsubscribe now.

Just sharing our real life. 😉

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Filed Under: Finding the Funny, Rants, Teens

Free National Parks Weekends & Grand Canyon Tip

Wednesday, June 17, 2009 By Sherra

Did you hear the great economic stimulus plan for family summer vacations?

There are three free national park weekends with the first one starting this weekend, June 20th. The other weekends are July 18 and 19, and August 15 and 16.

It would be fun to be able to take advantage of one of these weekends. There’s still time to plan a semi-spontaneous family vacation! Or if you are lucky enough to live near one of the national parks, you should definitely take advantage of this opportunity!

I’d like to give a little Grand Canyon tip for anyone who is able to get there for a visit this summer. PhilBillPaul and I were lucky enough to visit in the quiet of December and it was breathtaking.

Towards the end of trip, this was really breathtaking.

grandcanyon1

In case you can’t see it, here is a close up…

grandcanyon2

An idiot who is on the WRONG side of the fence.

WHY OH WHY would you climb over a metal fence and rail to get one or two feet closer?

I couldn’t help but take a few pictures of the idiot. I like to teach the kids these little life lessons with words and pictures. It’s nice when an idiot provides you with a complete photo tutorial.

grandcanyon3

I was glad to capture this picture of him climbing back over to safety. I would not have wanted to photograph the alternative. 🙁

I think they like to keep the number of accidents, disappearances and rescue and recovery on the down low. We don’t want to scare the tourists from visiting. Really, I just think they should work on keeping the idiots from visiting.

They do have these handy informational signs posted around the trails.

grandcanyon4

In English, “People die here falling from the edge. Do not go beyond–or climb on–walls or railings. Most who die have gone beyond walls or rails.

Seriously? Yes, idiots keep signmakers in business.

Unfortunately, most idiots can’t read. The graphic probably just confuses them even more.

Hey, one more quick tip. Don’t forget to stop at the Wendy’s just before the South Rim entrance to have a $7.00 burger. The value menu is not available at this location.

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Filed Under: Little Lessons, Moments, Rants

Two Weeks Plus Two Days

Monday, May 11, 2009 By Sherra

Mother’s Day 2009 is imprinted in my memory.

Not for the usual reasons of past years in my “perfect” life.

Side note: A few weeks ago, my sister and a friend told me that they think I should be more real because everything at my house always sounds so good.

I laughed at them but was a little puzzled. I guess me writing about spiraling into depression, getting a phone call from the high school principal and taking xanax now and again is too upbeat and perky for some people.

Yeah, I’ll work on that 😉

Back to Mother’s Day. In past years, Saint PhilBillPaul has had the kids make me breakfast in bed and make lovely homemade cards, taken me out for brunch or dinner and all the other cliché but wonderful things that moms love.

This year…

not so much.

But in the midst of the day, I did receive this heartfelt and touching card.

WARNING

Do not scroll down if you are eating or if you are offended by super short shorts.

Mother's Day card

Mother's Day inside card

That’s my girl. And I especially love how she signed with her last initial “H” because otherwise I wouldn’t have known who it was from.

Roger Leroy has inherited the same warped sense of humor that the rest of us have.

The card is a winner even if Mother’s Day wasn’t.

I’m saving some of my more real venting for a later date.

Perhaps in about two weeks and two days.

Because that’s how much time is left before the darling twins have here at home with us before they graduate and then ship to basic training.

For now, I’m still trying to respect their privacy.

Until then, please leave a comment and share some warm, fuzzy Mother’s Day moments that will help me remember when they were tiny and cute.

P.S. Scary Baby did make me a sweet book of poems at school in her handwriting complete with her own drawings!

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Filed Under: Finding the Funny, Rants, Teens

Flexible Friday #33 Airport Bathroom Etiquette

Friday, April 24, 2009 By Sherra

I’ve been so flexible with my Fridays that I haven’t posted for a few weeks.

Between spring break and coming home from spring break and packing to leave again, I’ve been a little, um, irregular.

I flew to Chicago yesterday and there is always so much fun to be had at the airport observing humans and their behavior.

Like the car and people being searched at curbside before I even left Atlanta.

Here’s what I really started wondering as I walked through the airport.

I wondered how we all lived before cell phones? Every other person was using one. Who did we talk to before they were invented? Did we talk to each other at the airport? Or just stare at each other? Does anyone remember?

Here’s one thing that has really changed and I’m going out on a limb here and stating my strong opinion on this one.

When did it become socially acceptable to answer the phone in the bathroom?

Why is this okay?

Is there really any phone call important enough to answer when you are in a bathroom stall?

Frankly, I think not.

If someone died, they will still be dead after you flush, wash your hands and leave the restroom.

I just don’t want to be that connected to ANYONE that I answer the phone in a public restroom.

In addition, I’m not interested in hearing someone else’s conversation while I’m in the bathroom.

Call me crazy but no one is that important.

Please do share if I’m missing the importance of why so many people are compelled to answer the phone while in a bathroom stall.

The most recent airport pet peeve…

A fee if I want to check a bag.

Um yeah, isn’t that what all that space under the plane is for? Bag storage.

So build the bag fee in to the price of the ticket and charge accordingly.

cartoonairlines

I took a chance and paid the $15.00 because I am a risk-taker like that.

Happy to report my bag arrived.

I am also delighted to announce there is NO SNOW and the weather is actually beautiful.

May you all have lovely spring weather and enjoy your weekend wherever you are!

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Filed Under: Finding the Funny, Random Thoughts, Rants

Flexible Friday #32 Barter with Me

Friday, March 20, 2009 By Sherra

I’ve got nothing today.

Because I’m still doing that thing that I HATE.

Why don’t I have a friend who is an accountant?

And that accountant really wants a blog.

That I’d be happy to set up, install and help get them started.

Or needs some help with something that does not involve numbers or math.

Because I would trade services.

In a heartbeat…

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