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Real life. Real lessons.

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Rants

The Leaving

Monday, February 1, 2010 By Sherra

Last week I said to PhilBillPaul,

“I hate it when they are home. I hate it when they leave.”

Their leaving last week caused a wee bit of stress.

Understatement of the year.

Stress that only parents can understand. And even then, some of you don’t know what I’m talking about. Maybe because your darlings haven’t left yet.

The darling twins are now gone for five months. I’m equating this departure to a semester abroad. Except they are in Arizona. So I guess it’s a semester out west. 😉

They will thrive and shine. They will be fine. Because we have prepared them for life in ways I’ve seen many of their peers are not prepared. For that, we are grateful.

We know they are equipped with life skills and life lessons. Even though they choose not to use those skills here at our house.

Roger Leroy sent me this text tonight just as I was about to write this…

“You not sharing any life lessons lately is bothering me.”

Funny kid.

I don’t like the blog pressure. Funny thing about the blog is that when I don’t write, people worry.

Sweet, kind people who wonder if something is wrong.

A few emails. A few phone messages.

As if my silence might indicated that my feet have been dangling dangerously close to the edge of The Black Hole.

Or that I may have set a personal record and taken xan*x three days in a row.

Side note: I’m not spelling the drug name out any more as it seems to attract spammers offering me all kinds of interesting pharmaceuticals.

I’m fine, fine, fine. I promise.

I’ve just been really busy doing some blog design work in between recovering from the holidays and spending quality time with the family.

I do miss them when they aren’t here. I really do.

Since this blog is really my online family photo album and my personal therapy, I’ll share this tiny glimpse of what I don’t and won’t miss…

Photos compliments of Scary Baby because I couldn’t bear to look again.

Oh yes, that is my precious little blue bug (that Wizzy is in the process of buying) and that is where a passenger is suppose to put their feet.

Why yes, that is chocolate milk and orange juice. And marinara sauce on the floor mat, I think. For the record, in an attempt to make me feel better, Wizzy did say it was OPT…Other People’s Trash.

Yes, as a matter of fact, I did cry. And scream. A lot.

Another proud week at the Humpfreeze.

Note to darling twins: I did refrain from posting pictures of your room (again). Or your laundry. Where Dad found a clean stack of clothes still folded in the bottom of one of your hampers tonight covered with dirty clothes you left here. Nice.

Just want to keep it real.

Where is that prescription bottle?

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Filed Under: Milestones, Rants, Teens

May I Take Your Order Please?

Tuesday, December 15, 2009 By Sherra

Special note: Our iLashGirls site was hacked yesterday so we had to rebuild a few things from a backup so this post disappeared for a while. If you left a comment and you don’t see it now, please leave another one! Hacking websites…add that to the list of stupid hobbies of people with too much free time. 🙁

This is how pizza ordering at the Humpfreeze house goes when all SIX Humpfreeze family members are home.

Side note: Small miracle in itself. All of us being together in the house on a SATURDAY NIGHT. Not just passing each other as someone walks out the door. Or passing each other in the driveway.

Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.

pizza

Photo courtesy of callme_crochet

I’d like to tell you that this picture is of the hot, delicious pizza we get here in the South but that would be a lie. Pizza like that is rarely found here but this picture made me think of how much I miss the perfection of Illinois pizza…Chicago style or otherwise. My family lives near the Wisconsin border and it is that awesome Wisconsin cheese that I long for and have every time I go back to visit!

Now let’s get back to ordering pizza for dinner at our house…

I conducted this serious, formal interview with each family member to show you why I am crazy.

Dream Pizza

The Grunter
Crust: Thin
Toppings: Pepperoni
Sauce: Yes

Roger Leroy
Crust: Stuffed crust
Toppings: Extra cheese, 1/2 pepperoni
Sauce: Light

Wizzy
Crust: Regular
Toppings: 3 cheese preferably mozzarella, parmesan, ricotta
Sauce: Alfredo

Scary Baby
Crust: Stuffed crust or nothing
Toppings: Cheese and more cheese
Sauce: Barely

PhilBillPaul
Crust: Thin
Toppings: Pepperoni and sausage
Sauce: Extra

Sherra
Crust: Thin
Toppings: Light sausage, mushrooms and extra cheese
Sauce: Light

Saturday night pizza = Quality family time.

We can’t even agree on THE CRUST.

Would someone create a chart so I can order a freakin’ pizza please?

What’s your favorite dream pizza? I mean the non-compromising kind where you don’t have to share or accommodate other people’s tastes?

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Filed Under: Finding the Funny, Food, Rants, Teens, Tweens

Teenagers and Clean Rooms

Monday, November 30, 2009 By Sherra

Every time the darling twins come home, we have the same conversation.

A tornado hits their room when they arrive.

They insist that it was that way before they arrived.

We argue.

It was no different during their Thanksgiving break.

I know have written about this subject once or twice.

I really did appreciate Paula’s advice in the comments that they will eventually be proud of their personal space. Ahem…it just won’t be their space in my house, I guess.

I have photographic evidence that I thought I would keep private. But then again I’ve been known to change my mind.

Years ago I let go of trying to make them clean their rooms. I’ve read that many experts recommend that this a battle you should “choose to lose.” You know, let them have their space, give them some freedom…that’s what doors are for…blah, blah, blah.

I have done this to the best of my ability. I’m sure my kids would disagree.

Whatever.

It’s still MY house.

I took to the semi-annual mode of cleaning. I stayed out of their rooms for about 4-6 months. Frankly, I think that’s personal growth for me.

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.
–Phyllis Diller

Then I would have to enter the danger zone for some reason and we would have massive meltdowns (them and me) and marathon cleaning day. Some day, I’ll share pictures of that family bonding time. Because, of course, I took pictures.

When the darling twins left for Basic Training this past summer, PhilBillPaul and I went in the danger zone and did a major clean up. We stripped the beds, cleaned up drawers, wiped surfaces, swept, mopped, vacuumed, etc.

I was thinking that maybe, just maybe, after a summer in the military that they would come back with some personal pride in their living quarters. That they would love their big, bright, colorful room after spending the summer on a hard bunk surrounded by drab army green.

I’ve pretty much given up on that now.

Full Disclaimer: All four kids are piglets. I have plenty of pictures of The Grunter’s pigsty.

I’m pleased to announce I’ve exceeded my personal growth goal and I have now have proof thanks to these photos by PhilBillPaul plus this text conversation with Wizzy which did not send me to the Xanax bottle.

Wizzy: Can you have dad look n see if meadows left her cover somewhere? (cover=military lingo for hat)

Me: Dad’s debit card was in ur room. We have meadows cover. Still no Vicks…where is it?

W: Oh crap sorry. Okay good. It was on the little table

Me: And he found a kitchen bowl of delicious popcorn with rat poop in it.

W: Hahahaha shut up

Me: It’s not on the little table. But he has found a wet towel

W: idk then

Me: Oh he just found the vicks under the bed. The rat must have been playing with it.

W: lol real mature

Me: The rat doesn’t really look mature. Seems kind of young & playful what with the vicks & all

Me: No one is allowed back here until room is clean BY BOTH OF U. Out of dad’s mouth…”u r not going to use our house as a dirty weigh station.”

W: I didn’t. Whatever

Me: nice try rachel wasn’t even here!

W: Okay

W: Its not even messy dads having a bad night n overreacting*

Me: He’s snapping pics now & he seems fine to me. I’m not looking becuz if he says it’s a wreck…holy cow.

W: Whatever

Me: Love u dd 🙂 (dd = darling daughter)

Me: I appreciate the blog material 😉

W: Not funny. Im not amused

Me: Love love love & miss u dd

W: Yeah i can tell

Me: I do dd & I think you are being mean to me

W: I think you are being mean to me

Me: sniffle

W: Thats what ive been doing all night. Im having a rough day

Me: Me too…sorry dd ;(

*Here are the photos of dad and his overreacting because “it’s not even messy.”

I just laughed and said…

Whatever.

Still open to any suggestions about how to *make* 18 and 20 year-olds clean up their personal space. Anyone? Anyone?

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Filed Under: Finding the Funny, Rants, Teens

New Four Letter Words

Tuesday, October 6, 2009 By Sherra

We learned some new four letter words this weekend. Though I really can’t give you clear definitions.

Maul.

Ruck.

Plus a lovely five letter word.

Scrum.

None sound particularly nice. Maul is the only one I’m vaguely familiar with.

But not in this new context.

Our darling twins have picked up another bad habit sport in college.

Rugby

Call us narrow-minded but PhilBillPaul and I were less than thrilled to hear this. We know very little about the game except to describe it as “tackle football without pads or equipment.”

Oh wait, they do wear a pretty black mouth guard.

In their first mini-tournament that they insisted we not come and watch because they were still unsure of the rules, Rachel was kind enough to send me these photos. She is number 15.

Picture 1

Lizzie played too. Bottom right corner picture. She was just on the opposite side of the field barely in photographer’s view I guess.

Upon review, I had to ask if anyone else tackled anyone or just her?

She insisted she just happened to be playing right at the photographer’s angle.

She’s also the smallest one on the team (again) and after watching opposing basketball players literally lift her off the floor for years – I was pretty sure I was not going to like watching this.

Side note: No, I haven’t forgotten that they are Soldiers. Yes, it stresses me.

When they invited us to their first official full-length game this past weekend, we headed up to North Georgia as part of our parental obligation.

This after several lengthy discussions with the other darling twin, Lizzie.

Who had been sick enough to go to the clinic and was prescribed an antibiotic for an upper respiratory infection and went TUBING in the river less than 48 hours later.

Exact words:

“Mom it wasn’t strenuous, I just sat in the tube and floated.”

She then continue her quest for resting and healing 5 days later by engaging in a flag football game where she…

“might have broken her pinky…the clinic said I should have an x-ray…where do I go for that?”

Bonus diagnosis at the out-of-network clinic (who declared the pinky the worst sprain they’d ever seen) was BRONCHITIS with 3 new prescriptions including an inhaler and steroid to open her lungs.

She called to tell us before we left home for the game and I paraphrase a bit:

I’m not playing unless we don’t have enough players. I’ve already told the team captain I don’t want to play. And if she does have to put me in the game, it will be in the backfield where no one really goes just so we have enough players on the field. Blah, blah, blah. Lie, lie, lie.

She played. Not in the backfield.

She was actively involved in this scrum.

scrum

Well, at least I think this was a scrum. Maybe it was a maul?

PhilBillPaul’s keen observation as he folded up his chair:

Well, it was more fun to watch than cross country don’t you think?

Anyway, darling Lizzie came up to us after the game happy and excited.

With a bloody lip. BIG SIGH.

Oh, and they won.

yipee

Never did I think, especially in this day and age, we would be begging them to…

Stop Exercising

Can’t they just be couch potatoes and take it easy for ONE semester?

Seriously.

Or at least try out for a less aggressive sport. Golf? Badminton?

I’m pretty sure there’s a life lesson here. But I’m too old and tired to connect the dots. Other than college freshmen get sick a lot.

Besides I have a lot of reading to do about scrums and hookers.

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Filed Under: Finding the Funny, Rants, Teens

HUGE Teen Driving Revelations

Wednesday, September 30, 2009 By Sherra

Psst…if you are a parent, lean in close.

Dim your screen…don’t let anyone see what you’re reading…

Especially your teens.

I heard this BIG news story on several channels on Monday so I had to do a little online research and share these revelations with you!

Two new studies confirm fewer crashes among teens with supportive parents and clear rules.

Did you get the two revelations in that sentence?

Let’s review (for my teen readers – who happen to be my kids)…

1. Supportive Parents

Teen Translation: Nagging “in-your-business” parents who ask you things like “Where are you going?”

My personal favorite annoying question that I know my children will attest to…”Who is riding in what car?”

2. Clear Rules

Teen Translation: Annoying, stupid things your nagging parents repeat hundreds of times before you are 18.

My personal favorite rule “Tell us your plans, destination(s) and passengers before you leave and don’t change them after you leave the house.”

Seems super clear to me but the darling twins still have a hard time with this one.

What I really wanted to find out was how much these new studies cost???

WHY OH WHY didn’t they just call me?

And a few other strict, not-fun parents like me?

Oh, that’s right – we are hard to find because we are almost extinct.

One of my most favorite lines from a Fox news affiliate…

They also found that teenagers who have to ask to use the car were more likely to wear their seat belts and not talk on their cell phones.

I added the bold emphasis.

HAVE TO ASK TO USE THE CAR?!!

Oops, sorry, don’t mean to SCREAM but are there really still parents MAKING their kids ASK TO USE THE CAR?

Thanks for letting me rant.

Because as I have admitted before, I have issues…

About parents who are more worried about their kids being popular and their kids liking them than of the seriousness of giving our teenagers a bright, new, shiny car but none of the responsibility that goes with it.

This is the magnet I purchased and made the kids drive around with when they were learning to drive. Kept one in the trunk of each car.

teendrivermagnet

Yes, I am that parent.

I prayed a lot. But I also remember thinking if the message on that magnet makes just one impatient, tailgating, honking, rude driver stop and realize that a new young driver was at the wheel in front of them, then the magnet was effective.

We also paid for private driving lessons with a veteran police officer and driver’s education instructor who came highly recommended. He made a tremendous difference in their confidence level and spent some serious time teaching them how to handle the big metal weapon car in scary situations.

So in case you didn’t know until now, it’s official…

Firm Parents Keep Drivers Safe

In all seriousness, if you are a parent and did all the right things and suffered the loss of a teen, I send my heartfelt sympathy. Sometimes, accidents really are accidents. I’m certain that the devastation and heartbreak never goes away.

If you have a teen learning to drive and you need some help and guidelines, here is more info about the study:

Parenting Teen Drivers

On the heels of two studies published in the journal Pediatrics, the Young Driver Research Initiative (YDRI) has developed a comprehensive report of recently published research providing evidence-based recommendations for teen driver safety practitioners and parents that may reduce teen crash risk. It’s called Driving Through the Eyes of Teens, A Closer Look. A set of fact sheets and a webpage including expert advice have also been created to help parents enhance their skills to help teens safely navigate the first years of driving.

I’m grateful I got the first three to 18+ but as usual, the study, the book, the manual, the instruction guide, etc., etc., came out just after I needed it and I had to just use common sense and “go with my gut.”

I know I take this all a little personally. Must be the coma and head injury.

Ridiculous mother. Unreasonable rules. Uncool and politically (and socially) incorrect. Not their best friend.

Yes, I am that mother.

And this is not an apology.

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Filed Under: Finding the Funny, Rants, Teens

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