Random Thoughts

Flexible Friday

Friday, May 30, 2008 By Sherra

Running a home business for more than 20 years has given me a lot of freedom and fun.

The best part for me has always been the flexibility.

I have always loved to set my own schedule. I am a night owl by nature and the structure of a nine to five job was something I never enjoyed. I know myself well enough to know that my internal clock makes me most productive when most other people are usually going to bed. It’s also why I’m glad I have a few friends on the West Coast!

Being your own boss and/or working from home is a dream that many people have. But I have often shared that the dream can become
the nightmare if you don’t give yourself some structure and boundaries.

Since The Grunter was born 18+ years ago, I have always been a full-time mom first and a home-based business owner second.

The structure I set for myself many years ago was setting up daily theme days. Anyone who knows me knows I have to keep things simple. Complicated means confusing and coma patients really don’t like to be more confused than necessary!

Back in the day with three toddlers, naptime, preschool, 5:00 meltdown, etc., my theme days went something like this…

Monday

“Me” Day…this was the day I got a babysitter or later kept them in an aftercare program at school so I could play golf. Often, I went and played 18 holes all by myself. Some Mondays I had lunch with friends. If it was a rainy day, I curled up at home with a good book or a few magazines. I did NOT clean the house or do any kind of work!

Tuesday & Thursday

“Telephone” Day…a good part of my business was and still is spent on the phone. I learned that I didn’t have to answer the phone when it rang. I could return calls on Tuesday and Thursday. I could make business-building calls on those days.

Wednesday

“Wacko” Day…this was the day I made lists and ran around running errands and doing all those little things that piled up throughout the week. It always felt like a crazy day but crazy didn’t start with “W” and Errand Wednesday didn’t fit my theme week. This is where this form really came in handy because I wrote on it throughout the week and then took it with me on Wednesdays.

Friday

“Finances & Family” Day…Since Friday was usually pay day for PhilBillPaul and I always had bookkeeping tasks related to my business, I handled that kind of stuff on Friday. Friday night was reserved for pizza or tacos or whatever “fun” food the kids wanted to have. Then we’d play a game or rent a movie.

So now with these three teenagers and the nine year-old, most every day feels like Wacko Wednesday and my theme days seem to have disappeared.

It got me thinking as I’ve been working on this website and a few other web business ideas with a good friend, I should re-institute my theme days.

I also remember how many moms of multiples and other home-based business moms have told me how my “theme” days have helped them. It really is hard work to be at home without a boss or some structure. It’s easy for the days to all blend together and feel unproductive.

So as we start this summer and I know the benefits of setting boundaries for myself, I bring you “Flexible Friday.”

It’s a running joke with a few friends who will understand when I say this loudly…

“I AM THE MOST FLEXIBLE ONE IN THIS GROUP.”

Which is a big lie. Well, I guess it depends on the group I am in. 🙂

“Flexible Friday” for me means that I’m going to quit stressing about what to write about on Fridays. For some reason, I feel the most self-imposed pressure.

“Flexible Friday” will hereby be a day where I am free to blog about four or five fascinating or fabulous or free or fun or favorite facts (or fiction) I FEEL like writing about.

Are you feeling my theme? And because I’m sooooo flexible, I’m starting Flexible Friday…next Friday. Hush already, I don’t need the pressure.

I also hereby institute MONDAY ME DAY for every MOM who doesn’t schedule a day for herself. Come on, you can do it!

(Okay, start with a ME hour if the day concept is freaking your inner martyr.)

I really want to hear from every woman who has a ME day and I also want to hear from all of you who are now adding a ME day to your life! Click on the comment button and make a commitment to YOURSELF–you are worth it. Share it with us here!

Your ME day doesn’t have to be on Monday…see, I’m flexible like that.

I Have Issues…

Monday, April 28, 2008 By Sherra

No real surprise for those who know me.

For those who don’t, it’s probably not a real surprise either.

I have written about the fact that I have issues.

I have learned to live with most of them. Some require Valium. Some will require more therapy.

I think writing about my issues will be cheaper than therapy.

I truly believe we all have issues. Some of you may not want to admit it. Some of you are just better at hiding them then I am. My kids would like it if I could keep most of my issues to myself.

Before I tackle a specific issue, I’d like to reveal a little about my fashion sense. It is actually related to this post.

(Which could be a separate issue I’m not going to write about today.)

I just wanted to share this t-shirt that screamed “BUY ME, WEAR ME” last year. I had to shut it up so I bought it.

In fact, I bought this shirt last year because it really did speak to me.

The issue of the day is…

SCISSORS.

I have lost count but a pretty accurate estimate of the number of pairs of scissors that I have purchased since becoming a mother is approximately 972. Since The Grunter is 18, that is an average of 54 scissors per year. Yeah, that seems about right.

I have bought them their own. I have color-coded them and announced their purpose. Kitchen. Scrapbooking. School projects. Sewing. Etc.

Call me crazy but I don’t want to open a hermetically sealed package of bacon with a pair of scissors that have glue and other unidentifiable objects stuck to the blades.

Nor do I want to trim a picture with scissors that have bacon fat on them.

I have hidden them. I have bought them in cases of six. I have them in drawers on all three floors of our house.

When I need a sharp, clean pair, do you think I can open a drawer and they are there?

I have found “MY GOOD SCISSORS” on the front porch, the sidewalk, the backyard, the garage, the stairs, their bedrooms, the bathrooms and various other places.

When I was scanning pictures for Scary Baby’s birthday post, I saw a few pictures that gave me some insight into my scissor issue.

The inappropriate use of scissors started at an early age…

Obviously, I was a rookie scrapbooker and must have had a brand new, shiny pair of scissors that I went a little crazy with. I swear my family albums look a lot better now. It takes a little while to develop your own personal style.

Try to ignore the hack job I did on the pictures and instead, focus on the hack job Roger Leroy did on her twin sister’s hair AND her own. I especially love Wizzy’s expression.

Here’s the excerpt from the photo album of 1995:

Roger Leroy’s Hair Salon Now Open Out of Business

Roger Leroy opened up her shop in our basement on January 24. Her “Grand Opening” was followed immediately with her last and only day of business. Mom shut down the shop. It seems that Wizzy was her first customer after she did a trim job on her own bangs. When Wizzy appeared to show her new haircut, it was quite obvious that Rachel had no formal training and was operating without a license which is illegal in Georgia! Mom screamed and cried and cleaned up the hair–the girls collapsed after a busy day.

History repeated itself in 2003.

Excerpt from that album:

Another Humphreys girl discovers that her chosen vocation should NOT be hairdresser! Scary Baby found a pair of scissors and snuck off to her room to trim her bangs. No twin sister to blame this time. Mom didn’t cry this time and Dad called our family hairdresser to do what she could to “disguise” this very uneven trim job. As we already know, it takes a long time to grow your bangs back!

For some odd reason, we bagged up and photographed the hair. I think PhilBillPaul has it saved somewhere with all their baby teeth.
(Those would be his issues, not mine.)

I think you can see why scissors are a touchy subject at my house.

Life Lesson (LL): It is unhealthy for me to covet scissors like I do.

Share a Life Lesson (SALL): Am I all alone? I’d be honored if you share an issue or two so I could at least tell my kids that other moms have issues too…

Testing 1-2-3

Wednesday, April 9, 2008 By Sherra

I’d love to have a little lesson to share today.

Or a funny wiener (dog) joke.

Or a giant life lesson.

But I don’t.

Because I’m still exhausted from battling the teens.

(For the concerned few, I’ve been Valium-free for 3 days!)

Instead, I have a few random thoughts to share.

First, I thought this was a good day to conduct a little experiment and see what happens. As the site continues to grow, I love to know what you all think and how I might get you to participate a bit more.

I know how many of you want to remain anonymous because you don’t want your husband, kids, neighbors, the world, etc., to know that you’ve ever had bad thoughts…

but you like to read mine.

I do respect your privacy. I promise.

Please do remember, you can use a “CODE NAME” so no one (except me) knows it’s you.

Here’s a little anonymous poll for you and it will give me a good idea about some future plans I have in the works.

{democracy}

If no one clicks, I’ll get a BIG life lesson so remember how I just climbed out of The Black Hole and I’m still very fragile. Please don’t make me start that series up again. 🙂

Second, I’m surprised that I didn’t get more (as in AT LEAST A DOZEN OR MORE) comments on the Man on Blog post from Friday.

Seriously, just a patriotic, thank you to all the families with soldiers serving our country means a great deal to them!!

Hello, it’s not too late.

Come out of lurker status and just go the post, scroll down to comments box and type THANK YOU to all the men and women who serve our country (like Ann’s husband and my cousin’s son Rob).

Finally, many of you know I collect quotes. This one seems particularly appropriate as I battle onward as a mean mom. I leave you with this uplifting inspiration and a big sigh…

The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.
-Helen Hayes (at 73)

Mean Mom vs. Nice Dad

Monday, April 7, 2008 By Sherra

I’m a Mean Mom.

PhilBillPaul is a Nice Dad.

Our roles have been clearly defined for many years.

My role as the mean mom has become extraordinarily difficult during these teen years.

Valium difficult.

I won’t go into a play-by-play of all my meanness this weekend. I’ll save it for another post.

Suffice to say, “I am mean and always say no and am always in a bad mood.”

I’m paraphrasing one of the teens’ rant with tears about how mean I am. The only thing ~~she~~ the darling didn’t say is that I’m mean.

Some day I’ll also go into detail about how Nice Dad just wants “everybody to be happy.”

Which is a beautiful sentiment. Really it is.

He was put here on earth to make me look even meaner.

I often fantasize about living in a crappy little apartment (crappy little beach cottage would be even better) and letting Nice Dad and the teens live in funland and squalor.

I’m not saying I would abandon my family–they could most certainly come visit me.

PhilBillPaul could even call and come pick me up for a date.

I would be willing to work them all into my busy schedule.

My therapist didn’t think this was such a keen idea when I ran it by her last week.

But then again, she doesn’t live at my house, now does she?

Just thinking out loud here. (sigh)

I dream of little things like…

Clean dish towels with no dried food on them
My scissors and tape being in the drawer where I put them
A coffee table that doesn’t have sticky I-don’t-know-what-on-it
More than 3 squares of toilet paper in the guest bathroom
Not tripping on anything when I go up or down the stairs

I’m showing my shallow side. I know this.

I have issues. i know this too.

Just venting because I’m sure I’ll feel better if I just SHARE this with you.

And I wonder if anyone else feels this way?

And the Valium doesn’t seem to be working…

Not your average mom

Sunday, January 13, 2008 By Sherra

This is not your average mom blog. But then again, I’m not your average mom.

I’m the girl who said she “might” have kids but two at the most.

I have four kids.

It would be lovely if I could tell you how we planned each pregnancy and I glowed with excitement at the thought of becoming a mom. That would be BIG LIE #1.

The complete story of *why* we have 4 children will come soon. Don’t get your panties in a wad that I’m damaging their self-esteem by telling the truth. Each child is truly a gift from God and we love, love, love them.

We just don’t like, like, like them all the time.

Oops, sorry, I’m getting off topic (the random thing again…)

When surprise baby #1 arrived life got a lot more complicated. Then surprise baby #2 became baby A and baby B (“Do twins run in your family?” the sonogram technician calmly asked and then said, “I see two sacs” to which I replied, “Two sacks of what?”)

Then, because they all were pretty darn cute and I have this thing about even numbers in families, we PLANNED baby #4 who everyone quietly thinks was a surprise.

We’re way past potty training though I am sure I’ll find a way to entertain you some bathroom stories. Our family enjoys a little toliet humor now and again.

Bridging the gap from toddlers to teenagers—that’s my goal when I write.

It’s that pivotal time in life when moms stop talking and start lying. They smile and decide it would be easier to lie than to tell the truth.

This is when women start to alienate themselves from those old playgroups and friendships and connections. This is the time when sending a happy holiday card letter is easier than explaining what’s really going on at home (aka finding the positive, hiding the negative; hence the “happy” part of the card which is why I love to read them but have never written an “official” holiday letter).

This is when life starts to get really, really interesting.