Call the Police

I’m not creative enough to make up stories.

I just have to go with real life experience.

When I got an email on Friday to confirm my request for my pin number and security question, I called PhilBillPaul immediately to see if he had requested this information.

When he said no, I sent a text to The Grunter to make sure it wasn’t him.

Next it was a call to our cell phone provider. Remember, we just renewed our relationship with them a few weeks ago.

This is the part I cannot make up – the conversation with “customer service” went like this:

Me: I’m calling because I’m concerned about an email I received confirming our pin and security question answer because we did not request it so we think our account may have been compromised.

CSR: Let me look at your file…no, I don’t see any changes. The last online activity was that you paid your bill.

Me: This email is dated today at 8:38 a.m. and no one in our house was requesting information. I think this is an account security issue.

CSR: Let me look at your file…again I don’t see anything.

Me: So I shouldn’t be concerned about this email that tells me someone requested the information?

CSR: Wait I just checked another place on your account, I do see that at 7:30 a.m. today someone did request pin information.

Me: Can you determine where the request came from via the IP address of the computer that requested it?

CSR: Do you mind if I transfer you to technical support because we don’t have access to that kind of information?

Me: Yeah…sure. (with no enthusiasm–holding for about 3 minutes)

Tech Support: Hi (insert perky voice) Can I get the mobile number you’re calling about and how can I help you?

Me: So you want me to repeat everything I just told the CSR who connected us?

Tech Support: Um, yeah, sorry about that. Oh wait, let me just look at the notes…(insert my yawn while she reads aloud what I just told the CSR). So is that right, you are looking for the IP address of the computer that wanted your pin number?

Me: Not exactly but close. I was thinking you all would want the IP address and this would be a security and fraud issue that you would want to know about.

Tech Support: Actually we can’t access that information. We’re just tech support if you have a technical support issue with a phone.

Me: Okay, I didn’t actually ask to talk to you and since this is obviously not your job…shall I just not worry about this?

Tech Support: OH NO (insert genuinely concerned voice) if you are concerned then we recommend that you call local law enforcement and they contact our corporate security and they can take it further.

Me: (Trying not to laugh) Did you really just suggest I CALL THE POLICE because of my Sprint pin and security question?

Tech Support: Well I know that may sound drastic…

Me: Actually it seems like a gross misuse of our resources and you should really have a better “next step” in your binder full of customer solutions. Perhaps you can suggest that in your next training meeting…

Holy Cow I’m NOT

Saying WOW.