The Trouble with Roommates

Before I begin my roommate rant, I wanted to send this special message out to my oldest and hardest working roommate…

Happy Birthday PhilBillPaul!

Begin rant:

They will be the first to tell you, with their eyes rolling, that our rules are ridiculous and we are ridiculous every single day.

The struggle to transition into the adult world while living with your parents is intense. Too many “adults” in one house gets crowded. Especially when the adults are your children.

I prefer to call them semi-adults.

You remember – the days of independence and freedom. If it wasn’t for those nagging parents who would like you to be home at a reasonable hour. 1:00 a.m. is way too early when you are young and cool. Then those same parents expect you to get up before noon. Seriously?

It’s been a long, hot summer.

In more ways than one here at the Humpfreeze house.

They don’t really carry their weight in terms of normal things it takes to run a household.

I’ve had roommates. We cleaned, we took turns, we helped each other.

It was a big day when the almost 22 year-old pumpkin bought this giant package of toilet paper. I swear PhilBillPaul was so impressed by the size of the package and the fact we only buy 12 double rolls at a time that he was going to pay him back for it. I pointed out that I thought he could contribute 24 rolls of toilet paper to the household without reimbursement since we had kept it stocked for him throughout his life.

Please note that the giant package stayed in the hall just outside of the linen closet for over a week.

Yes, I have dug in and refuse to do the things I did for them when they were toddlers.

Yes, I know it would be “easier” to put the toilet paper in the closet than to take a picture of it and blog about it.

Perhaps this has rubbed off on The Grunter who, for the record, is the neatest, cleanest of the four piglet children.

He sent me this text and email last week.

“All the black dots are ants.”

Back in my roommate days, we didn’t send each other pictures of messes left behind by others. (Okay, so we didn’t have cell phones back then either.) But I also don’t remember anyone drinking hot chocolate in the bathroom.

We didn’t have big discussions about who was going to buy toilet paper or whose turn it was to empty the trash.

It usually didn’t crawl up the wall.

He sent me a slideshow of the bathroom he is “forced” to share with his sisters.

I’m only sharing 3 pictures from the slideshow and his comments are edited to keep the gross factor at a minimum.

There are also 8+ razors between the three of them.

I didn’t take pictures of the sink because they “cleaned” it already. There were 7 cups sitting on the counter, some food… Also an unplugged hair straightener and a spilled toiletry basket covered the sink. Toothpaste was everywhere and there was toilet paper stuck to the mirror.

In addition to all of this I would like to list my items which are ALWAYS put away in my basket on its shelf, and not in anyone’s way:

  • 1 Toothbrush
  • 1 Toothpaste Tube
  • 1 Deodorant
  • 1 Razor
  • 1 Tube of Shaving Cream
  • 1 Shampoo Bottle
  • 1 Body Wash

He included his list of what he thinks should be the max for each person. Perhaps my little Virgo has too much free time.

I’d like to add that with the exception of Scary Baby’s items, they have purchased all the aforementioned toiletries, not us!

I asked the darling twins to clean up their room to “guest room standards” before they left for their Army National Guard Annual Training for 20 days in July.

They insist they did and I’ve been informed that Scary Baby and her friend were responsible for some ALL of these clothing piles.

She claims no responsibility for the closet but the darling twins are calling her out on this too.

Like I believe anyone around here? The messes never end.

Roommate Applications

My biggest issue is that if we were accepting roommate applications, my own semi-adults would not have gotten through the screening process. If they slipped through, they would most definitely lose their damage deposit and we’d kick them out.

I’m open to constructive suggestions or words of encouragement.

I will feel better if someone else will admit that they have messes like this and they don’t constantly clean up after their children (beyond the toddler years). Or tell me you shut the door to their bedrooms and didn’t go near them for several years. Be sure to confirm your house did not fall down nor was it condemned by the health department.

They are still with us because, in spite of their piglet ways, they are all enrolled in college full-time, they all have part-time jobs and have paid for their own cars, car insurance and entertainment since they were 16. I know this is way more than most of their peers are responsible for even in their twenties. They are doing the *BIG things* right and I’m trying to keep that in perspective.

For now, I’m taking lots of deep breaths to get through these last days of summer.

Because I do love them. Even when I don’t like them.


One year ago..

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  1. 1
    Sally says:

    So glad you are blogging again! Happy b-day to my husbands best friend. And just a side note to yesterday’s column, Kasey (our 10 year old German Shepherd) now has meds totally an even $120 a month for the rest of her life including an underactive thyroid medicine. You are not alone. And I am losing my mind with just one semi-adult in the house, don’t know how you are doing it with three. You are so not alone!

  2. 2
    Jenn Ross says:

    First of all I am so impressed that one of your semi adults bought toilet paper. I believe when my children were that age they thought the tp fairy just appeared and stocked the closet. I also believe they still think there is another tp replacement fairy that replaces the tp once the roll runs out. Both of those people would be ME and I am always the one that gets as we call it “one squared” or “no squared” ie no toilet paper or just shreds on the cardboard roll.
    We also had an invisible gentleman that appeared as soon as the kids were able to talk named “Mr. Nobody” He did all the messes that no one would claim.
    My daughters are married and now understand. My son, however, does not. He needs to move out. He has been gone for a month and I am still fumigating his bathroom and bedroom. He couldn’t figure out why his room smelled. Could it have been the disintegrating banana in the bottom of his trash can ( barely recognizable) or the fact when I went in just to get his sheets to wash when he left I came out 2 hours later with 3 bags of trash. Of course at least one of those bags he had already gathered up but thought it would walk downstairs by itself.
    He comes home on Monday and better get a job by Tuesday.
    My only words of encouragement are that my daughters are now experiencing the joys of motherhood and messes. So one day it will happen your semi adults and we just get to smile!!

  3. 3
    ~julie says:

    The only thing that has worked for us—moving out-of-state and buying a “retirement house”—1633 sq. ft. with no garage or basement. It requires more “togetherness” than my three can endure for more than a long weekend, so they stay at college during the summer, splitting the rent with roommates and working to cover their expenses. You can’t build savings that way, but you don’t have to live in the guest room either.


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