The Black Hole, Part Four

The nurse at my doctor’s office encouraged me to see the midwife who is well-versed in women’s sleep deprivation, depression and hormone issues. I wholeheartedly agreed. I love the midwives. I delivered all four children with midwives. Sign me up. I need to see a midwife.

She listened. She empathized. She laughed. (I’m still funny even when I’m depressed.) She pointed out anyone would be depressed at the stage of life I’m at with the ages of my children. (That made me kind of sad.)

She sent me home with a NEW prescription that she was SURE would work for me. It was in a different family of drugs than the other two I had taken in the past. I had been properly weaned from the first med and could start the new med the very next day.

She also sent me home with a sleeping pill prescription. I was craving sleep in a giant way.

I took one and lay in bed all night waiting for it to work. No such luck.

Have I mentioned that PhilBillPaul snores like a stuck pig? He has done this for all 20 years of our marriage. I’ve been incredibly tolerant if I do say so and I am saying so now. But at this time in my life, his snoring, or more accurately, my newly developed extreme sensitivity to noise had wreaked more havoc on my sleep patterns.

12 weeks later. Still exhausted. Volatile. Witchy. I called the doctor’s office and talked to the nurse again. She said I should definitely be feeling better by now. Time to start weaning off this drug that wasn’t working and make another appointment. They wanted me to come in and talk to the midwife again.

She was baffled. She couldn’t believe that neither med worked. I asked about hormone levels and doing other blood work to test everything that seemed to be going wrong with my body (and mind). She thought it might be time for a pysch evaluation. I volunteered to check in to a facility where I could sleep for a week or two. She laughed…again.

I left with the names of two psychiatrists she recommended and a new anti-anxiety med that might help on the “really bad days” (until we could figure out what was wrong with me).

Two days later, I had The Grunter pinned to the wall and I was screaming till my throat hurt. I literally fell apart. I could not breathe. I called PhilBillPaul and through my hysterical sobbing I begged him to come home and take me to a hospital that would help me…


To be continued…

If you missed part one, two or three…

The Black Hole, Part One
The Black Hole, Part Two
The Black Hole, Part Three

Or to read more of the riveting story that I probably should just turn into a free ebook…

The Black Hole, Part Five
The Black Hole, Part Six
The Black Hole, Part Seven

One year ago..

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  1. 1
    Melinda says:

    Wow, this is scary. It makes me really sad reading it cause I know no one can function without sleep. I am very lucky that my hubby’s snoring actually puts me to sleep at this stage in our marriage. It works like this, I rub his back until he starts snoring and then I turn over and go right to sleep.

    Sometimes I get to read a little until he wakes back up. He’s the one with the sleep issues at our house and no, my snoring doesn’t put him to sleep. He usually wakes me up and asks me to rub his back until he can go back to sleep. He takes sleeping pills also that don’t work worth a durn. He can take two sleeping pills and wake up 2 hours later. I’ve told him to get rid of his alarm clock cause he definitely doesn’t need it and he needs to quit looking at it all night long.

    We have one of those new sleep number beds as well but even that’s not a miracle cure for him. I’m wanting him to try the tempur pedic next but don’t know what we can do with this expensive king size sleep number bed while we do.

    Hope you finally found some meds that worked.


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