Teenage Fashion and Cool Moms

In addition to being a mean mom, I am not a cool mom.

I have noticed this “cool” factor is not quite as important to my son as it is to my daughters – both the younger one and the “older” ones. The nine year-old is just as likely to point out my dorkiness as the seventeen year-old darling twins.

The nine year-old had an entirely pink wardrobe for a number of years. If it wasn’t pink, she didn’t want to wear it. There was no such thing as too much pink. She has since added a few other colors to her wardrobe palette along with sparkles, sequins and anything shiny.

Add to the mix that the two in high school are athletes and are NOT girly-girls and I truly have both ends of the fashion spectrum. Shopping with my “big” girls hasn’t been fun and has not classified as a mother/daughter bonding time for at least a decade.

For many years Roger Leroy headed straight to the boys department to buy gym shorts and warm-up pants. I think the first year she wore girls’ jeans was freshman year of high school.

We actually argued before their senior picture appointment when I asked if they would please, please consider wearing small stud earrings and a necklace. And if that wasn’t ridiculous enough, I then suggested a little mascara and eye shadow would be a lovely touch.

I’m uncool, I tell you.

And I know things could be worse. Much worse. I try to keep this in perspective.

So now they have to look for a nice shirt (notice I didn’t say dress or skirt) to wear to the upcoming cross country banquet.

I offered to take them to lunch and shopping on Friday afternoon. Who knew when we picked Cracker Barrel that it would turn into a timesaving one-stop shop?

Tucked way in the back of Cracker Barrel’s country store shop was a 70% off corner of Fall apparel. Don’t even get me started on what a bargain shopper I am. It’s a finely developed skill that has served our family well.

Never mind that there is no dressing room in Cracker Barrel. I just had the girls try on the blouses in the corner.

Shirts were $39.99 marked down to $11.99! Woo-hoo – what a bargain!

And they would easily match their dress pants – you know, the black ones – the only ones they own.

Since they are twins I thought it would be super cute if they dressed alike for the banquet.

Forgive the bad quality photo – I only had my camera phone when I forced them to pose for this picture…

It’s very hard to make out the sequined spider but it’s worth squinting and trying to get the full effect. I thought it really set off the plaid fabric.

OKAY, OKAY, I’m just kidding. We didn’t buy them.

Because the hats weren’t on sale.

The young female Cracker Barrel clerk did say “Boy, I thought my mom was bad…”

Huh? I don’t know what she was talking about.

They insisted on going shopping by themselves on Saturday. And proceeded to buy this shirt.

Wizzy got the same exact shirt except in beige.

After laughing at me when I said they could dress alike and I was
just kidding.

Which suspiciously looks like the sparkle blouse I wore rollerskating in the 9th grade at “The Tree” in Rockford, Illinois.

Because I used to be cool.

Or not.

One year ago..

• The Gas Chamber