Marry Someone Handy

Keeping with the marriage theme from Monday (okay it was marriage and eating)…

Here’s some excellent advice I received from Junebug many years ago.

I do feel it is important to document her words here because I want to pass them on to my kids and be sure they don’t get lost in translation over the years.

“IF YOU HAVE TO GET MARRIED, for goodness sake, MARRY SOMEONE HANDY.”

That might be paraphrased a tiny bit.

I’d like a little credit for following that advice when I’ve been known to do the exact opposite of any advice she was doling out for free through the years.

PhilBillPaul is as handy as they come.

I know there are jealous women who only wish their husbands could be half as handy as he is. They have asked to hire him. I know I could rent him out.

But who really wants a grouchy handy man? Seriously, he’s not super nice when he gets dirty, especially if he has to work on electrical or plumbing. He would rather clean his fish tank. Or look on craigslist for girlfriend motorcycle parts.

Being handy ruins his weekends.

All this and I will confess right now, I’m glad I’m not a guy.

Keep in mind I run a pretty tight ship as household manager. I am excellent at delegating. High on my list of accomplishments is teaching four children life skills that will take them far in the world. Not bragging, just stating the facts that I’ve spent the bulk of motherhood teaching them to do things for themselves instead of waiting for other people to do it for them (especially their mother as they will all confirm).

Mr. Handy has been busy fixing ANOTHER leak this past weekend. This special leak was discovered when our water bill went from approximately $35 a month to $88 last month.

Thank goodness we have piles of money lying around and we just throw it out the window for anyone who drives by so they can catch it and do whatever they want with it.

I really do appreciate how much we can save in home repairs being married to Mr. Handy. For him though, it’s not just about saving money – he loves the challenge of solving and fixing the problem. He is a fixer and the more a problem baffles him, the more he digs in (pun intended) to figure it out.

Me – I’d call someone every time.

Opposites attract, I hear.

Meanwhile PhilBillPaul has spent the last week digging up pipe from the front yard water meter to under the porch.

This is after he established the leak was not in the house. The sink flood on my birthday does not count. That was just The Grunter yanking a towel out from the cabinet and breaking the pipe. Therefore he is not financially responsible for this new whopper of a leak.

Scary Baby was kind enough to take pictures of all his hard work and dirty tools.

Side note: Scary Baby got a little feisty about all the dirt and mud he got on her gardening tools. Including THE HANDLES. Notice her little fingers barely holding the dirty handle.

Poor PhilBillPaul has had to crawl under the porch and dig.


I can barely step outside thinking of what all he might discover under the porch so I stay in my bedroom sanctuary and type blog posts and take naps and pray nothing poisonous bites him.

I’m also baking and cooking up a storm so I don’t feel as guilty that I’m clearly failing as a feminist and acting like a prissy girl because I don’t want to get any mud or dirt on me.

But I’m rooting him on.

I’ll make him some pumpkin bars because they are his favorite as soon as I have water.

Maybe Scary Baby will be brave enough to crawl under the porch and deliver one to him…

Update: We have water. We are currently not discussing the white pipe in the front yard. I’m certain he has a plan for that. I repeat, we have water. That’s all that matters.

Any great marriage tips you received from family or friends? Do tell! Share in the comments.

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One year ago..

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Comments

  1. 1
    ~julie says:

    Marry someone who loves you just a little bit more than you love him. Love is easy for women; not so much for men. If he loves you just a little bit more…you’re on equal footing. Not saying who dispensed the advice and it really isn’t for male eyes so hopefully your male readers will skip today’s post (or be temporarily blinded to female secrets—like they could understand us anyway).

  2. 2
    Melinda says:

    Well no one TOLD me to marry a handy man but I lucked out and got one, thank goodness. otherwise our repair bills would be astronomical I’m sure! Don’t get me started on our water leaks! I don’t even know if I could recount them all and I WISH I hd pictures. I don’t know if our worst one was the one down by the creek or the one in the house. Both were bad, trust me! Getting a call from your mother-in-law while you are on vacation that your house is flooded does NOT make for a good vacation!! Luckily I had the insurance company number in my phone and was able to call and get repairs underway. We should have lunch and compare stories. I feel fairly certain I can top yours!

  3. 3
    Barb McC says:

    My father had many talents, but he definitely was NOT handy around the house. He had to hire someone to change the light bulbs. (I am barely exaggerating.) Having very low expectations in this area, I was astonished and delighted to find out my husband was quite handy. However, I would add a proviso to Junebug’s advice: Marry someone handy who does not also have ADD. A typical Saturday scenario around our house would have Fix-it Man (my pet name for him when I want something done) deciding on a project. He would start in, only to discover that he was lacking a vital tool, material or gizmo of some sort. So off he goes to Home Depot. Several hours later he returns, with perhaps one or two of the items he needed (he does not believe in lists.) At this point it’s lunch time, so he takes a break. After lunch he decides to try out the new computer game or read from the book he bought on the way to Home Depot. Before he knows it, it’s too late to start in on the project, and besides he doesn’t have everything he needs anyway. So the project is postponed til the next Saturday. Rinse and repeat. I think I’m going to have to hire someone to change those light bulbs.

    • 3.1
      Sherra says:

      I have heard this is a very common theme and frustration over unfinished projects and I’m sure the ADD tendencies do not help. At our house we refer to that as “shiny ball” syndrome and we all have a touch of it. Unfortunately, I have the opposite problem regarding PhilBillPaul projects. His focus is so intense that I often leave (as in go out of town) so we don’t have to argue about him stopping and resting and reminding him it doesn’t all have to be done in one day or one weekend. LOL