I am lucky to have one daughter that keeps her room fairly clean. The other one…not so much! In fact she was once grounded (by her choice) for seven weeks because she didn’t want to clean her room. We had set a deadline with the consequence of a one week grounding if it didn’t get done and she didn’t feel like cleaning it. (Side note: when does anyone “feel” like cleaning? I thought we just had to do it because it needed to get done! Anyway…) This continued until finally she couldn’t stand it any longer.

We now have a standard that the room must be clean enough that if the house caught fire, a fireman could come inside to rescue her without injuring himself or getting lost in the filth. That at least secures a path from the door to a window. If it gets too bad (aka family protective services would take her away if they saw it) then I offer to sit give her instructions on the proper way to clean a room or she can do it herself according to “mommy standards”. Needless to say, she always choses to do it herself and generally does an good job. I guess she figures if I let her live like a pig most of the time, she can compromise on cleaning it without an attitude when I ask.

I am seeing progress though on the personal pride issue as she gets older. I only hope that before she moves out and inflicts her messiness on some unsuspecting, neat-freak of a roommate, that she will grasp the concept that it just isn’t cool for your space to look like the local landfill!

Only bribery works at our house too. My middle child’s room is the worst- she just throws trash and anything else on the floor, including clean laundry… When she was a toddler and it was ‘clean up’ time at day care, she would actually hide so as to avoid helping. Our general rule is that friends can’t come over until the rooms are cleaned up, that somewhat does the trick (although the rooms usually still have items ‘hidden’ in them.) One time, instead of bringing out her dirty laundry and cleaning up, she actually hid things in her suitcases- that took more energy than just bringing it out! Aaahhh, the joys of parenthood!

Now that the “kids” are older teenagers, all I have to do is threaten to take away the cell phone for a period of time. It’s amazing how fast they can: clean their room, do the dishes, mow the yard, etc. when they don’t have that cell phone attached to their right hand!!

Oh, that cell phone one is a good one. When my children were growing up we didn’t have video games or cell phones…so…

What worked for me… Every once in awhile I would post a notice on the door of the room: “This room has been condemned as a health hazzard. All rights and privileges of the occupant are hereby suspended until drastic improvements are made. - The Management and the Health Department”

And I followed through. It didn’t matter to me that some special event was coming up - in fact, it got even better results if there WAS a special birthday sleepover that night or a dance, football game, or a sports even in which they were due to participate in. I mean’t ALL rights and privileges were suspended!

Hard hearted Mama,Joan

It’s really funny that this was the topic today, because I just got home from work and peeked in my daughter’s room….HELLO HIROSHIMA!!!…can you say “why are we still dealing with this same PROBLEM??? My husband and I talked about it, because when I went to work today I told her, ” I am sick of going in after you go to work or your Dad’s and having to clean your room, I have a small house and you can see it, and NO I DO NOT WANT TO JUST CLOSE THE DOOR MOM !!!!” So we have decided….no clean room, NO DRIVING THE CAR, she just got her license so I am hoping, no praying, this will have an impact. GOD HELP US ALL !!!! (you made me smile, because it was perfect timing !!!)

Clean Kids’ Rooms:
Okay, you “younger” moms….I left it to my boys to clean their own bathroom and bedrooms. I showed them how to do it and periodically reminded them of shortcuts that left a “gleaming” impression when you walked into the bathroom…probably not totally hygenic, but acceptable…I also told them that I was going to come into their rooms (with warnings ahead of time) to disinfect the place once in a while. They’d clean up and I’d vacuum, dust and disinfect. Their rooms were a mess often! We shut the doors. I wondered if they would ever be neat!!!
Now when I come to visit them and their wife and fiance, they (mostly my boys not the girls) have cleaned up to honor me. And you know what? They really like it that way…cleaned up! They do it when they have the time and the inclination…my visits are not often as we live 5 hours away….they do know how to clean and seem to do a better job than the girls!!!
So let it go as for as long as you can handle it. It is not worth the stress and animosity it causes. Set the example and be reasonable in your requests to have them be accountable! They will choose to be proud of their personal space as soon as it is really theirs!

You know the comments are as much fun to read as your posts. I was going to just post a capital NO but guess I can say a little more.

Yes, we are all living in the same house (same problems anyway). I keep trying to tell my DH that but he doesn’t believe me. He actually is more the clean freak than me. I hate housework and know that at least one of my daughters inherited it from me. In fact, every time we talk about cleaning up, someone usually brings up the fact that MY room is a wreck. I know, I know, I NEED HELP! Anyone know someone they can recommend?
I really don’t like living like this but I can’t seem to figure out where all this stuff that comes in my room is supposed to go. Closet is full, drawers are full, under the bed is full….

Help!

I should add I do have one daughter that keeps her room clean/straight MOST of the time. Like it’s not right now but I can tell her this afternoon and she can get it done pretty quick. Of course I have opened drawers in her room and found trash, so that’s not good.

We use bribery and suspension both. Can’t say that either one works all the time.

Mine are probably too young to count…but I have always picked their rooms up and the rooms have always been tidy and neat before they laid to rest at night, and so far, they have come to expect a clean room and will even tidy it up for themselves if I can’t get to it. Again, very young, the oldest starting school next week. I hope it will continue, where they expect a clean room, and if it doesn’t get cleaned by me (I hope) it’ll bother them so much they’ll clean it themselves? Anyway, that’s my hope!
I have a question. My youngest daughter, 3, will not stop eating! She has opened the fridge so many times that the door has dislocated…and now, I am so bothered by the sound of the broken fridge door that it makes her constant eating annoying! What do I do?