Husband Keeps Girlfriend in Garage

Because I feel like we’re all close personal friends and I need to have a tangible record of the dysfunction that is my life, I’m writing this story today.

PhilBillPaul met her in March of this year.

He actually brought her to our house.

She stays in the garage.

I’ve met her. The kids have met her.

Believe it or not, my daughters are very intrigued by her.

Which is awkward and continues to be a BIG problem.

I wasn’t the least bit impressed with her.

She is younger than me.

Whatever.

Though younger doesn’t always mean prettier. Or in better shape.

Apparently her personality made up for what she definitely lacked in the looks department.

Score one more for PhilBillPaul in the Mr. Nice Guy category for not being shallow. Instead, he is obviously attracted to her personality.

Whatever.

Surely I wouldn’t leave you all hanging without showing you a picture or two of this intruder.

motorcycleA

She doesn’t even have all her parts.

motorcycleB

Lovely, isn’t she?

Lucky for her, PhilBillPaul has spent the past six months with her and has done an “Extreme Makeover” on her.

motorcycleC

I’m going out on a limb here and breaking one of my cardinal rules ~ one of my favorite life lessons which is “Never Say Never.”

I will never be friends with her.

I will never understand this relationship.

I will never accept this relationship.

Some of you may have similar relationship struggles.

We’re 4 days away from 21 years of marriage. Please don’t misunderstand.

Our shelves are filled with family albums of wonderful memories of our years together. I am thankful I have recorded the story of our life with words and pictures.

But as many of you know from this blog and most who know me realize I’m just not very good at keeping my feelings hidden. I like to be transparent so no one has to guess where they stand with me.

Let me be perfectly clear when I say I am not jealous of his girlfriend.

Not even a hint of jealousy when he bought a new leather jacket so he could look good while he rides his new girlfriend.

Side note: There was no nice way to say that. I tried. Really I did.

Even though he’ll tell you the jacket is protective gear.

motorcycleD

I’m sure his other protective gear is backordered. Leather pants and boots are needed to complete this geeky hot new look.

Oh yeah, I’m hot all right.

But mostly, it just makes me sad.

No one will be able to convince me to support or celebrate his choice.

And I will refrain from telling you the horrific, tragic motorcycle stories that I have personally been affected by.

Because he sold his motorcycle the first year we were married at my insistence and he is now reneging on our agreement.

Because I am a mother with three teenagers driving in a community with too many cars and cell phones and distractions, I cannot be supportive of this choice.

Because I am a mother who was spent these past years trying to teach the kids about all the risks they will face in their lifetime and sometimes choosing the less risky path may not provide as much instant gratification and fun.

Because I am a mother who believes that after you have children, your choices change dramatically and the lifestyle and choices you had as a single person become a fleeting memory.

Because I am a mother and a wife and a head injury survivor, the girlfriend and I are just never going to peacefully co-exist.

Because he doesn’t get a free pass from me when he is knowingly spitting in the face of danger and ignoring my wishes.

Because I have a blog I can announce to the world that if anything happens to him I’m relinquishing my wifely duties because I did not sign up for this.

But please, feel free to continue loving PhilBillPaul and wondering how
“Poor Phil” puts up with me.

I’ll be busy here remembering a man who wore a different leather jacket back in 1987 when he wrapped me up in that jacket to keep me warm and safe in his loving arms…

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One year ago..

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Comments

  1. 1
    Ann says:

    It looks like there’s a place for you to sit behind him while he rides his girlfriend. LOL NO?

  2. 2
    Nicki says:

    Hi Sherra…
    As you know my husband has a girlfriend too – she comes in the form of a ’72 Cutlass Convertible. Problem is I really like her too! (I am sure there are all kinds of jokes that could go with that!) I am not a motorcycle fan either, for all of the same reasons, but maybe you could talk him into a new girlfriend (a convertible), that you could both enjoy together…again the jokes are potentially flying here! You really opened a can of worms with this one!

  3. 3
    julieann says:

    Okay, so PBP has chosen his midlife (terrible word) toy; what’s yours going to be? I see some real potential here and I’m not just talking about a big trip to the shoe store!

  4. 4
    Sherra says:

    julieann » It’s only midlife if he is going to live to be 100 and if he’s still riding a motorcycle then–well, everybody is in danger 😉

    Nicki » Thanks for suggestion about convertible but it just doesn’t seem to hold the same allure as the motorcycle. A sunroof in the car is about as close as we’ll probably get…

    Ann » Very funny – and even worse than me riding with him is that Roger Leroy and Scary Baby think that is their seat!!

  5. 5
    Melinda says:

    Sorry, no sympathies here since I’m a biker chick myself after my hubby had his midlife crisis at 40 and got his Harley. I have come to realize myself that none of us can know how long we have and we have to enjoy life to the fullest while we are here. Hopefully PBP is as careful a rider as I am and will have many enjoyable rides. It really is nice to get out there and enjoy the breeze, especially this time of year.
    I hope you will adjust as I have and enjoy it with Phil sometimes. As you already know from your earlier episode, no one knows how or when they are going to go. I realize we have a duty to hang around as long as possible and see our kids raised but the simple truth is – WE don’t know how and when it will be so do we want to pass along our fears to our children or our joy of living life to the fullest? Let me know when’s a good time for me to ride mine up so you can check it out!
    Tell PBP to keep the shiny side up!!

  6. 6
    Sherra says:

    Melinda » Ahhhh…I knew this would be a subject of healthy debate for us. You are right, that earlier episode of almost dying in a car does make you take stock of your life and know that none of us really know how long we have here on this earth.

    With that said, we all do have the power of choice. We get to choose how we enjoy our life to the fullest. I choose that every day. BUT increasing your risk factor significantly with your choices does impact others. So at this stage of our life, I can surrender to his *joyful* living as long as he understands that it’s my choice to not take care of him if he gets hurt. I signed up to be a wife; not a nurse.

    FYI – for all my biker readers (okay – you might be my only biker chick friend these days) I actually rode motorcycles and loved them…back in the day. I’m not passing on my fears to my kids – I fully understand Roger Leroy’s need for speed and am trying to teach her about risk and choices. Even though so many things are out of our control in life, there are plenty of ways to minimize dangerous situations by making good choices and still living life to the fullest!

    Okay – I’ll stop now. Let’s agree to disagree on this subject 😉 And PhilBillPaul is a very careful rider as I’m sure you are just as I was and still am a very careful driver…

  7. 7
    Tammy says:

    All I am going to say is “Poor Phil” nothing! How about Poor Sherra?!?!?!? After all you are the one that will be up nights when he is out with his girlfriend. Sometimes it stinks to be the responsible one, doesn’t it? My thoughts are with you in this difficult time.

  8. 8
    Tina Ruddell says:

    My husband’s has TWO girlfriends – a 65 Mustang and a 68 Oldsmobile 442. He wants a third girlfriend, which would look a lot like your husband’s, but I have PUT MY FOOT DOWN. I am not sharing any more of him with anyone else!!

    And cars don’t require helmets. Or ridiculously low insurance because the insurance company knows if it gets into a wreck there will be nothing left.

    I hope I never have to put up with the same girlfriend as you. I would die of worry!

  9. 9
    Sherra says:

    Tammy » Oh no worries at night – he’s not allowed to ride it at night with his “learner’s permit” Ahhhhhhh!

    Tina Ruddell » Good for you putting your foot down! I thought I had down that in year one of our marriage but apparently my head injury and bad memory is failing and that was all a dream. SIGH…

  10. 10
    Diane says:

    I can comment cause I am not in your shoes. Otherwise, I am not sure how I would feel…
    I have learned over the past three years that life is short.
    Your time is up when it is up, whether you are on a motorcycle, in a car and sleeping soundly in your bed.
    Let him have his fun and don’t let the girlfriend come between you!

  11. 11
    Melinda says:

    Sounds kinda like DIane might be a friend of mine. But yes, we can agree to disagree on this subject.

Trackbacks

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