Flexible Friday #15 Squirrel Issues

If you are a regular reader then you already know I have issues…

IssuesShirt

My issue of the day is…

SQUIRRELS

Thanks to Julieann’s comment about that yummy bean cake on Wednesday, she gave me the perfect segue to my already planned post about SQUIRRELS…

How do we go from Pork-n-Beans cake to squirrels?

squirrel reference

I have always had squirrel issues. Rats with bushy tails. I don’t like squirrels.

My current squirrel issues are directly related to my hormone issues from last year which have subsequently created sleep issues and sent me spiraling into The Black Hole discussed here and here and here.

We have a new visitor who has been visiting our roof.

squirrel2

This squirrel is leaping onto our roof from a tree branch and runs along the gutter.

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First I hear the faint thud as he lands on the roof. Then he creeps up to my bedroom window. Which is approximately four feet from my pillow and starts chewing on the window sill.

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The sound is deafening. And it wakes me up.

And I have sleep issues.

And I hate squirrels.

Luckily, I’m married to handy dandy PhilBillPaul and his trusty handy assistant, Roger Leroy.

They ignorantly bravely went out on the roof with a chain saw to trim the branches so the Satanic Squirrel (SS) would stop eating MY HOUSE.

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Nothing more comforting than seeing your daughter handing your husband a chain saw through your bedroom window. Note her enthusiasm if you can see it in the darkened photo.

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Please forgive the poor quality photos thus far. I am not a SQUIRREL or CHAIN SAW photographer.

Hasn’t even phased SS – he keeps coming back.

PhilBillPaul thinks he can get SS with The Grunter’s crossbow. I have nixed this idea as I think a dead squirrel in my yard with an arrow sticking out of it might incite some animal-loving neighbors.

I don’t want any trouble.

I just want uninterrupted sleep.

We’ve been told a squirrel trap is our next option.

Lucky for me, we’ve had squirrel hunters living with us for many years.

squirreltrap

The Grunter and his assistants have been hunting squirrels since 1997.

Problem is they’ve never caught one.

But darn it, that was a very cute moment when I asked The Grunter what he was doing and he told me the girls were his lookouts so he could catch a squirrel.

Now, I need to address another part of Julieann’s comment…

southern sterotypes

That Pork-n-Beans Cake was a recipe from food-loving Americans and because she inferred it might have come from people in Kentucky who eat possum and SQUIRREL or some other southern state, I bring you this highly scientific data I retrieved from the allrecipes.com website about the locations of those who loved BEAN CAKE:

Texas, Ohio, New York now living in Portland, Kansas, Canada, Ohio now living in Pennsylvania, Idaho now living in Nevada and Florida.

NOT ONE MENTION of Kentucky, Alabama, Tennessee, Georgia, etc.

So my friend, Julieann, just because you moved out West and are no longer here in Georgia, don’t despair. I’m betting you can find squirrel at some restaurant in California!

P.S. In all fairness, I must confess that my Grandad was a Midwest squirrel hunter back in the day. I certainly remember that he and my uncle and cousins would go squirrel hunting and Imogene cooked it. I’m getting queasy again…

Sally – send me that great picture of Grandad and your brother proudly displaying their squirrel vermin.

So you see, squirrel huntin’ and eatin’ are really not necessarily Southern thangs!

Anyone else here NOT from the South ever hunt and/or eat squirrel? I think the Pork-n-Beans cake would be a lovely side dish. Don’t forget to add the bacon bits and peanuts.

Okay, seriously now…I’m sick.

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Comments

  1. 1
    julieann says:

    Californians can’t possibly eat squirrel—they’re all vegetarians, right? No matter where I’m forced to live by the necessity of food, clothing, and shelter, I’ll always be proud to side with the midwest and south. They will always be my real homes, squirrel AND possum eaters or not. Just hope your squirrely friend doesn’t decide to bring along a possum cousin!

  2. 2
    julieann says:

    P.S.—Will you ask Imogene for her recipe? Does it include gravy?

  3. 3
    Sherra says:

    julieann » Do NOT even get me started on how much I hate possums. Ewwww!!!!

    I’ll check with Imogene about the recipe – thinking it might have been stew??? I’m sick again…

  4. 4
    Elizabeth says:

    Sherra,
    The reason you have that squirrel is because we, your former neighbors, moved. You see, we knew all the squirrels around the area. We “took out” your squirrels relatives, I’m sure of it. The first couple of family members took residence in our comfy attic and proceeded to reproduce. Once they and their pesky, ugly, destructive (did I mention I really hate squirrels) friends started reaking havoc in our attic and home, we (normally calm reasonable people) became really MAD! We are not gun lovers but alas, a BB gun was purchased and soon put to good use. I do need to tell you that we did start out the “humane” way of trapping and relocating our pesky enemies – it didn’t work! I won’t share the ugly details but a BB gun can work on a squirrel if done properly. Although a shovel has been know to work also. You see, the darn things were so aggresive and unafraid of us that they would sit there on the deck and stare at us – just daring us. JJ, had had enough! Let me just say, that if you don’t have a BB gun, you can use ours or a shovel will work just fine also. I guess the new neighbors are falling down on their job. You may want to see if they have a shovel!
    elizabeth

  5. 5
    mom23boys says:

    I saw this and am laughing! Welcome to my hell…

    Yes – my boys hunt squirrel! And yes, I do have to hold them back in the neighborhood for fear of animal-lover repercussions! We don’t eat the squirrels, but we do take pictures…

    My oldest son hunts anything and everything. Wild boar, bobcat, deer, elk, mountain goat, squirrel, turkey, marmot, goose, chucker….anything. Although we’ve never actually eaten squirrel, I have helped my son cook a goose that he’d shot. I prepared equally exotic sides to go with it – french fries and orange wedges! (What are you supposed to serve with wild goose?)

    As for me, well…..my idea of a good meal doesn’t include anything that’s been shot by any of my kids! (They haven’t ventured into the “chicken shooting” arena, so I feel safe there!)

  6. 6
    Sherra says:

    Elizabeth » I remember about your attic squirrels and the BB gun – but (gasp) I didn’t know about the shovel. I hope the new neighbors don’t read my blog. ROFL…that’s ROLLING ON FLOOR LAUGHING for my *older* readers 😀 We do have a BB gun, shovel and that crossbow I mentioned…

    mom23boys » I’m proud of you for cooking and serving the goose. I think your side dishes were lovely choices. Trust me – if PhilBillPaul kills the squirrel we will not be cooking nor eating it. My mom told me this weekend that she thought squirrels are cute AND that she loved eating fried squirrel growing up on the farm. Okay – I’m queasy AGAIN!!

  7. 7
    Cousin Dee says:

    Sherra, Sorry I’m late with my comments, work has been heck and gasp, no time to surf the internet, however, could not let you go without knowing my horrible childhood experiences regarding SQUIRRELS. I remember vividly Dad and Randy coming back from squirrel hunting and needing to “skin” the squirrels so mom could “fry up a batch”. Somehow I was elected to hold the poor little feet while they skinned away (I know, this is somehow child abuse-country style right) Anyway, this memory is seared into my brain and yuck, there was never enought meat on a squirrel anyway worth eating. If I remember, you had to eat at least 6-10 little legs to get one bite (are you sick yet?) Ah, childhood memories, just warms the heart, huh!!!!

    Dayna

  8. 8
    Sherra says:

    Cousin Dee » I’m really sick now. And want to know if there is a picture of the family prep work. I hope no one from PETA reads my blog because they might start coming after family members!!

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