Scary Baby arrived back from Texas this week. She spent three weeks with Granny, who has now moved into Saint status in my life.

We have never sent any of our children on a plane to visit anyone by themselves. I’m a weenie mom like that. There are a host of reasons for my decision that I’ll be glad to explore another day.

Meanwhile, after the many, many exhausting weeks with the darling twins and then shipping them off to Basic Training…

A parenting break looked pretty darn good.

Until I started reading some horror stories online about unaccompanied minors on flights. And the add-on price for this luxury is a breathtaker. Even if Granny was so kind to purchase her ticket.

AirTran had the most reasonable flight price and the most reasonable unaccompanied minor price.

I wasn’t shopping bargain prices if it meant bargain services for Scary Baby. I wanted her to feel safe and for us to not worry.

Only one parent can accompany them to the gate and PhilBillPaul won this honor because he is her favorite parent. It’s okay, it’s pretty much been this way since her birth.

Anyway, the praise came directly from him. He said AirTran really has their act together with their system of helping a parent get a kid to their destination. He was impressed by their customer service and felt very comfortable putting our daughter on the plane.

Kudos to AirTran and thank you for helping get Scary Baby to and from Texas!

I hope you all enjoy a wonderful 4th of July weekend with your family and friends celebrating the blessings of freedom in America!

Scary Baby is back home.

With a new Texas-Bohemian look.

This means the end of The Grunter’s short-lived “I’m an only child again” phase.

It also means he can start blaming one of his sisters for putting the toilet lid up and not flushing.

I kid you not.

While we were in the 3 week “only child” phase, he actually said he did not put the lid up and he always flushes.

He’s totally busted after blaming his sisters for many years that they are sooooooo gross and he always flushes. (I’m just talking about pee here - seriously even my gross kids aren’t that gross.)

Big fat lie.

Totally gross.

But not as gross as what he has to deal with at work.

*** W A R N I N G ***

This may make you stop going to the movies.

Or at least wonder what the heck is wrong with people?

This was our text message conversation with him last week while we were in North Carolina. I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried…

Side note: Do not read while eating.

The Grunter (TG): Somebody made a poo on the floor of a theatre again.

Me: A baby or a grown-up poo?

TG: Grown up poo

TG: Or maybe a small horse

Me: Wow did u have to clean it up?

TG: Yes

Me: Where was the poo located specifically?

TG: Located on the floor in the front row.

Me: Did you get a gift card?*

TG: Nope I got nothing

Me: Publix should be looking good right now

Me: Any toilet paper near the pile?

TG: Nope the horse didn’t wipe. His butt is gonna itch…

*This is the 2nd incident. The 1st one he only smelled but never located until a movie patron located it IN A SEAT where they sat down IN IT. When the 3 lucky employees had to clean it up, they all got generous gift cards from the managers.

PhilBillPaul affectionately refers to this as a “Code Brown” from his year of hotel employment when they would walkie talkie each other when there was an incident in the pool. (Caddyshack anyone?)

Soon, I will be unable to function in public.

For some reason, our family (Grandma included) finds this cry-tears funny but also utterly disgusting. We actually made him call Grandma and relay the story to her on the phone after dinner last night.

Let me tell you, I inspect the seats before sitting down now.

Grandma has a good visual in her head of some poor soul (like me) walking in with thin sandals and slipping in the floor variety. (I’m trying to refrain from using the word “poo” too many times.)

So many unanswered questions.

WHO? WHEN? And most of all…WHY?

Anyone? Anyone?

I tell you he really earns those free movie tickets.

Another proud mom moment.

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Just sharing our real life.

As in…we’ve renewed our vows that we took way back in 2000. That means, two more years of our already long-term relationship.

We got the girls new phones for their birthday and The Grunter and PhilBillPaul didn’t want to be left out.

I admit that their new Samsung Rant phones seem pretty slick. What with the sliding keyboard - now standard on many phones. I’m pretty partial to Wizzy’s. I think she picked the best color.

I figured the advantages of all of them having the same phones were numerous. They can share chargers and swap cases. More importantly, they can tutor Dad because Cellular Phil (that’s what I call him when he shouts into his phone “Can you hear me now”) needs tutoring. There are just too many features on these newfangled gadgets for him to figure it all out.

I have threatened to get him one of those Jitterbug phones or something similar. He often finds himself in a quandary because he can’t read the text messages because he can’t find his glasses.

I think it is an appropriate solution to his dwindling eyesight but coupled with his hearing loss, he just gets all grouchy and takes it personally declaring
“I don’t need a dog yet.”

“Yet” is the operative word here.

Anyway…

Much like the ipod, I had a smart phone with a keyboard way before the kids all wanted one. “So geeky, mom” is a comment I recall hearing.

Now it seems you are a total geek if you don’t have a phone with a keyboard.

So…are you a texting mom or are you still a holdout and refuse to communicate in teen speak?

No judgment - remember I’m still holding out on the Facebook *fad* that might pass.

Or not.

Because I’ve been counting the years one by one of this job I’ve been in for almost 20 years.

Longest streak of gainful employment for me.

Raising human beings does qualify as gainful employment.

It feels kind of weird when you work yourself out of a job.

But that was the original goal 18 years ago.

To teach life skills and send them off on their own.

Those precious tiny babies that turned into pesky teenagers.

I never could have predicted that those darling twins would become Soldiers.

Or that their 18th summer would be spent fulfilling 18 training requirements none of which include what most of their friends are doing like going to the pool, the mall, the movies or the beach.

They’ll have to save all that for next summer.

Instead, the gas chamber exercise and proudly declaring, “I didn’t throw up” is a highlight of their summer.

Completing 3, 5, 8, 10 and 15K foot marches…

An obstacle course, marksmanship and throwing two live grenades are things they will forever remember.

I never could have predicted that I wouldn’t be able to talk to them on their 18th birthday.

Instead, I had to send them each a card.

That was really a mini photo album that I hope makes them smile.

With a letter written in the back telling them how much we miss them and love them.

And how very proud we are of the women they are becoming…

Hug your kids for me today and please send up a little prayer for mine…

P.S. The Grunter and Scary Baby are still at home so technically, I’m still employed but I am looking for a job outside the home that will utilize all my amazing people and management skills. Call me if you have an opening.

I thought of this as PhilBillPaul and I drove back from North Carolina late Sunday after playing 36 holes of golf and thinking of ways we can move there before we retire.

Especially since we probably can’t retire until we are around 95 and by then we’ll probably be too old and {re}tired to even play golf…

36 holes of bad golf is still better than no golf.

Even though I can barely move my right arm because playing golf a few times a year moves muscles I didn’t know I had.

Um yeah, it’s official. We are old.

And tired.

I’m hoping PhilBillPaul will stop wincing with sound effects whenever he moves because he hurt himself playing on Sunday–he plays less than I do. And he’s older than me.

In spite of that…

Great food, friends and fun made for a perfect weekend.

Thanks Toni & Randy

What did you do over the weekend?

Because I’m pretty sure another one of our favorite restaurants does not fall in the “Fine Dining” category. Except for us, since our definition of fine dining really just means a good meal at a reasonable price.

We go here at least once or twice a month. Partly because we love, love, love breakfast. And partly because we love, love, love a cheap meal.

We go for the biscuit and gravy. While we do live in the South, we are still Midwesterners at heart and cannot eat grits.

Tell me where you can get a full meal like this for $5.00 bucks?

Seriously, tell me - because we’d like to go there and eat this month!

There are three free national park weekends with the first one starting this weekend, June 20th. The other weekends are July 18 and 19, and August 15 and 16.

It would be fun to be able to take advantage of one of these weekends. There’s still time to plan a semi-spontaneous family vacation! Or if you are lucky enough to live near one of the national parks, you should definitely take advantage of this opportunity!

I’d like to give a little Grand Canyon tip for anyone who is able to get there for a visit this summer. PhilBillPaul and I were lucky enough to visit in the quiet of December and it was breathtaking.

Towards the end of trip, this was really breathtaking.

In case you can’t see it, here is a close up…

An idiot who is on the WRONG side of the fence.

WHY OH WHY would you climb over a metal fence and rail to get one or two feet closer?

I couldn’t help but take a few pictures of the idiot. I like to teach the kids these little life lessons with words and pictures. It’s nice when an idiot provides you with a complete photo tutorial.

I was glad to capture this picture of him climbing back over to safety. I would not have wanted to photograph the alternative.

I think they like to keep the number of accidents, disappearances and rescue and recovery on the down low. We don’t want to scare the tourists from visiting. Really, I just think they should work on keeping the idiots from visiting.

They do have these handy informational signs posted around the trails.

In English, “People die here falling from the edge. Do not go beyond–or climb on–walls or railings. Most who die have gone beyond walls or rails.

Seriously? Yes, idiots keep signmakers in business.

Unfortunately, most idiots can’t read. The graphic probably just confuses them even more.

Hey, one more quick tip. Don’t forget to stop at the Wendy’s just before the South Rim entrance to have a $7.00 burger. The value menu is not available at this location.

And the 4 children are all gone.

And you have no internet.

You just lose track of time.

In the quiet and peace…

The hours fly by

And you forget which day it is.

PhilBillPaul and I are enjoying our solitude.

How is your summer going so far? Any big plans?

Fine is a subjective word. Your “fine” and my “fine” can be two very different things. Your perception and opinion may vary greatly from mine.

That’s okay. I’m fine with that.

Our differences are what make the world go ’round.

I’m willing to bet that my definition of fine dining doesn’t match yours.

Typically, “fine dining” implies upscale…expensive…gourmet.

But for me and luckily, for PhilBillPaul, our definition of fine dining is really about good food that is not expensive, usually not gourmet and an atmosphere that fascinates us but usually does not fall in the upscale category.

We are always in search of great local restaurants wherever we go.

With the size of metropolitan Atlanta, there are endless opportunities to try restaurants both near and far.

If you come to Atlanta, be sure to find one of the six Zesto restaurants in the area. You may have heard of The Varsity but it’s not our favorite.

Our personal favorite is Zesto.

Side note: We’ve never tried the oysters. Ewwww. And apparently they have salads for you health nuts. See…something for everyone.

What’s Our Favorite?

So glad you asked. We love, love, love their chili dogs and crinkle french fries.

Top that off with an Oreo or Butterfinger Arctic Swirl and you can thank me later.

I don’t care how fan-cee you are, a good hot dog or cheeseburger, crinkle french fries and ice cream is FINE dining!!!!

A final tip: Be sure to empty your trash before you go through the
drive-thru. Zesto employees are not authorized to take your trash.

Come visit us this summer and we’ll take you to Zesto for a fine dining experience!

What’s one of your favorite local restaurants?

P.S. Be sure and check out the two different great giveaways this week at iLash Girls! The Fun, Fun & More Fun Giveaway has two great summer items. I need to get Scary Baby some of that sidewalk paint and who wouldn’t love a new, bright beach bag?!

Leigh Anne and I have had so much fun learning to blog we want to help others and share what we have learned! So if you have ever thought about starting a blog we’re offering a giveaway for some Fun and Free Blog Startup Help.

Which was last Tuesday.

She left yesterday.

But before PhilBillPaul put her on a plane on Sunday afternoon…

He took her up to the North Georgia mountains for some quality Dad/Daughter time…

Ahem. Yes, he did. On that girlfriend.

I wish I had a close-up photo of that wiener dog tattoo she plastered on her left cheek. Really a nice look.

Remember, I lost control a long time ago.

Scary Baby is now at Granny’s house in Texas.

For the record, I have never, ever sent any of my kids anywhere without one of us.

Well, the twins did get to go to Tampa on their 16th birthday which was a giant step of freedom and now looking back, may have begun the downward spiral?

Anyway, we’ve gone from six to three in a matter of two weeks.

It’s just me and PhilBillPaul and The Grunter.

It occurred to me on Sunday afternoon that we have come full circle because 18 years ago in June - at least until the 25th, The Grunter was an only child. He will get to experience that again, but only for a couple of weeks.

No…I’m actually not crying, thank you very much.

I’m quietly rejoicing in the silence in my house. I might even sneak away on a little trip myself.

Thank you Granny for being brave enough to fly Scary Baby to your house and give us a much needed parenting break!!!!!!!!

It’s only June but this has been the longest year of my life…