Calling All Moms With Middle School Kids

We are in week 3 of middle school here at the Humpfreeze house.

The middle school transition may be the most difficult – in my opinion.

Mostly I think this because it’s been rougher than the first batch of older three Humpfreeze and their transition to high school or college.

Side note: Well, that’s if you skip that first week of 8th grade which was not only the darling twins middle school transition but also their public school transition as we homeschooled in their 7th grade and K-6th grade was in private school…sorry drifting down memory lane…that first week of 8th grade public school where Wizzy saw a knife in a girl’s purse and reported it to a teacher and then we spent some conference time with a counselor and administrator covering it up so the brand new school wouldn’t get a black mark and the girl didn’t get expelled because zero tolerance in the handbook didn’t apply to the knife or that particular girl. Pretty sure that was the longest run-on sentence I’ve ever written. Oh, the fun was really just beginning as The Bubble began to pop with the exposure to all the things I had kept hidden for so long.

Middle school is the age – again just my opinion – where the kids have outgrown a lot of the cuteness and it takes a whole lot of extra love and patience to not ground these children until high school graduation. You just don’t hear a lot of people saying things like “Look at that group of middle school kids, aren’t they adorable?” They are struggling to become more independent but are not quite old enough for any real freedom from those darn parents.

Week 1 of Middle School

Scary Baby’s first week was so smooth we were scared. We’re not pessimists but we knew it was the calm before the storm but we praised her independence. She got up every morning and got herself ready with time to spare. (She saves quite a bit of time by not brushing her hair – a story for another day.) Five days in a row of smoothly going to school is close to a record. Sorry, still no picture.

Week 2 of Middle School

Tuesday, day six. It is crucial that she get her instrument for orchestra T-O-N-I-G-H-T because she will be the only one without an instrument if we don’t take her to the music store right now. We had already spent a good deal of time discussing instrument selection and were unable to convince her that we thought band would be a better choice than orchestra. Never mind our reasons – none of us are musical unless you count the fact that we all have iPods and some of us love, love, love country music.

We simply supported her decision to choose orchestra. In an imaginary coin toss she chooses the viola over the violin. We don’t know why and we don’t care. We are just glad it is not the cello or bass.

Surely you know by now that Saint PhilBillPaul took her that very night to get the last rental viola in the state of Georgia.

And even though we have learned that some nasty little middle school boy commented that her viola was “obviously used” she has been loud and proud about her new acquisition.

Middle school boys are icky.

Wednesday, Day Seven.
It’s all over. She visited the clinic because her stomach hurt. We do not want the clinic to get to know Scary Baby better than the entire student body. We hoped we had left this elementary school legacy behind her. Thank goodness her very sweet and darling brother was available to take some magical Tums® to the clinic so she could finish her day.

I will write part two of this glorious day what transpired that evening in another post.

The best part of this lengthy story about middle school?

When The Grunter entered the middle school office, he says the receptionist was a wee bit busy texting under her desk and looked up quickly and said to him,

“Checking in?”

I’m still laughing that he could have checked himself in as an 8th grader. 7th grader? He turns 21 next month. My poor pumpkin.

I also told him he should have checked in, went to an 8th grade class, sat down and then we could have broke a giant news story about some security risks in the school system since a 20 year-old got past the front desk and could have done harm.

Might have made up for the “covering up the knife in the purse incident” that I’m obviously still holding a grudge about.

Just sayin’

Any thoughts, ideas, suggestions on how to make the middle school transition less overwhelming? It’s obvious that I’m way too old to have a middle school child and poor Scary Baby gets the short end of the parenting stick…

Summer Activities ~ Part 3

All the darling twins talked about even before they got back home was the beach.

“We’re going to the beach.”

Over and over again. In between car repairs and work schedules and having about six weeks of summer they were going to the beach.

When the beach trip got changed multiple times and looked like it just wasn’t going to happen, leave it to St. PhilBillPaul to have a brilliant idea.

“Why don’t we all go to the beach?”

Never mind that it’s not in the budget. Never mind that all three big kids are scheduled to work. Never mind that mom and dad have work too.

Let’s Go To The Beach

PhilBillPaul’s second brilliant idea was that MOM could work her magic and use the power of the internet and find a last minute beach bargain. In less than 48 hours.

“Yea!!” the children shouted. “Let’s leave on Sunday at 4:00 a.m.”

PhilBillPaul’s third brilliant idea was that MOM could make a breakfast casserole and cheesy potatoes so WE would have food right when we got there and WE wouldn’t have to cook.

What would I do without all the brilliant ideas surrounding me?

Leaving out most of the gorey details of everyone packing themselves and going to bed while mom cooked and sweated in the 150 degree kitchen and made lists and packed DIRTY clothes because…

The Washing Machine Broke

Oh yes it did.

On Saturday while the big kids were all working, PhilBillPaul turned himself black trying to fix the washer which would not drain or rinse the clothes.

Suspiciously this happened after Roger Leroy had C-R-A-M-M-E-D a load of clothes in that was seriously bigger than the washer.

Perhaps we did not teach her how to properly do her laundry. Oh wait, YES WE DID.

The Army and college have taught her that sorting is a waste of time.

I remained calm – surprising I know – and announced that we could do OUR laundry when we got to the beach.

The darling twins could take their wet ginormous load to a laundromat. And Rachel could buy the part she broke. And they were never allowed to touch our washer again.

Side note: I’m pretty sure that Roger Leroy would want me to extend her personal and heartfelt thanks to her sister Wizzy for doing this while she was at work.

This I said because we had paid for the last minute bargain I found and there were no refunds.

Off to the beach we went at a more reasonable time of 6:00 a.m.

The view from our bargain 6th floor condo wasn’t too bad.

And other than one giant scene about Scary Baby and brushing her hair, we all survived.

I’ll be so bold as to say that everyone had FUN.

I asked them if we could recreate the blog header photo.

But this is about as close as I could get.

Everyone was on their own for dinner.

It was very nice that they actually wanted to have one night be a family dinner so we all gathered at Pompano Joe’s.

And I made sure to snap this very important picture after she had told me numerous times to quit taking pictures of her.

I told her the whole goal of the trip was to get her darling toes in the sugar white sand.

She was very specific that it had to be the sugar white sand of Destin.

And then declared, on our last day, that she really doesn’t like sand.

Later this week, I must tell you what happened on the way there and the way back because no Humpfreeze trip is complete without some ridiculous moments that are not funny except to everyone else who didn’t have to be there. Or drive to the Piggly Wiggly.

Stay tuned.

Summer Activities

I remember the summer days with the first 3 darling children when summer meant they spent their days playing outside, swimming in a little pool, shooting baskets on the driveway, and eating ice cream on the deck.

The Grunter had a swing too. Just no polka dot outfit.

We’d tried to plan one “fun day” activity each week like going to a $1 movie or rollerskating.

They were so stinkin’ cute.

And even cuter when we added Scary Baby.

Those days are so over.

Returning home from their 5 months in Arizona on their 19th birthday, the darling twins have been home for 30 days.

Oh, so short in so many ways.

And oh, so long in other ways.

Friday, Day One: Drive to airport to reunite with the darling twins while The Grunter calls us seven times as he has to get his new car tag all by himself.

Yes, he did get a replacement after his accident. He is pretty pleased with the new ride that dad just happened to drive by and find for him. We now have 3 shades of blue cars in our driveway.

After our airport reunion and birthday lunch, we stopped by Publix to say hi to The Grunter who has been made to work two jobs for the summer by his mean parents.

Finally home to see more grass, the new lounge, have friends over, a quick run to Taco Bell and a good night’s sleep so they could really get busy enjoying their shortened summer.

Saturday, Day Two: Roger Leroy goes by herself to get her motorcycle permit.* Wizzy spends the day and night with another family. Mom wonders if she has enough x*nax to get through the summer.

*Side note: PhilBillPaul doesn’t think she will pass and she’s not prepared. The five months have obviously dimmed his memory of what the stubborn, circus baby child accomplishes when she wants something. She missed one. Passed with flying colors.

Sunday, Day Three: We gather together at church. Extra-strength prayer time required. Sunday evening birthday present…Rascal Flatts concert. We send all three darling daughters to a concert with two sister friends we’ve known since birth.

Rebecca has been to almost every one of their birthdays. She and Scary Baby share the same birthday.

She and her sister Hannah lived next door to us for 17 years.

It was nice to see the girls go to the concert together.

Monday, Day Four: Scary Baby has 3 day basketball camp at church. She’d rather stay home with her big sisters. Negotiating Bribery takes place.

Day Five through Thirty: Mom loses track of what day it is and who works what shift and gives up trying to keep anything straight.

The Lazy Days of Summer

Here is what I know they’ve done in no particular order:

Georgia Aquarium
Whitewater Water Park
Tubing x2 in North Georgia
Downtown for dinner x2
Shopping

plus

Going back to work at Publix and…

Drill weekend for Army National Guard and…

4 trips to their college for paperwork (3 in one week) and 2 days working at the college for the Army National Guard.

Summer Movie Time

Some combination of family has seen these movies and the letter grades are not necessarily mine since I’ve only seen 3 on the list:

• Toy Story 3 ~ A
• Marmaduke ~ C
• The A-Team ~ A-
• Iron Man 2 ~ B
• Get Him to the Greek ~ A-
• Knight & Day ~ F
• Grownups ~ B
• The Sorcerer’s Apprentice ~ B-
• Inception ~ A
• Despicable Me ~ A
• Cyrus ~ A
• Salt ~ B
• Ramona & Beezus ~ A

I don’t think my list is any longer than anyone else’s.

I’m just documenting my exhaustion from their activity level.

How’s your summer going?

Loving the Unlovable

I was pretty unlovable yesterday.

Cranky, residual drug lethargy and I’m sure PhilBillPaul could add a few more choice words in describing my behavior.

Did I mention I’m a wuss in the pain category?

Grumpiness may have been triggered by hunger, a sticky toaster lever, someone eating my natural peanut butter without asking (two giant jars in pantry for those who have informed me “we are NOT trying to eating healthy MOM…”) and the shooting pains of my weenie 10 stitches.

The flip out came when I saw Scary Baby with my Deluxe Yahtzee game. I have an unnatural and unhealthy obsession with keeping my games from childhood to adulthood in pristine condition.

I’m not blaming Junebug but I will say there were a few memorable days where we hunted for that ONE missing puzzle piece or a game token or a box lid that mysteriously disappeared.

My children do not share my addiction for keeping games in order and put away in their boxes they way they came. Go figure.

Side note: The Grunter shares my addiction. Something about being September Virgos. Not that we are into astrology.

I seriously adore the fact that they all love to play board games. Especially in today’s video and computer world.

But I’m well aware of the mixed message of me snapping when they touch my games without asking and furthermore do not put them away properly.

So yes, I snapped.

And it only got worse when PhilBillPaul opened up one of the game cabinets and there were loose cards and the Taboo game buzzer was NOT in the box.

Breathe, Sherra, breathe.

After a shrieking fit (I wish I could think of a nicer way to say it but let’s call a spade a spade), I made some toast and retreated to my room.

The x*nax had clearly worn off.

Which left PhilBillPaul sorting cards and taping broken box lids with packing tape.

And Scary Baby was upstairs crying because we sent her friend home because we also discovered her room was a wreck and the rule since birth has been “Work Before Play” which meant her room should have been cleaned up before she had a guest.

About an hour later, a brave soul pecked on my bedroom door. Scary Baby said,

“Hi Momma. Lizzie and I made you this.”

Raspberries, strawberries, blackberries, milk, sugar and ice.

Love in a glass.

With a bendy straw.

Crappy Mother – 0
Darling Children – 1

How’s your summer going?

Update #3 ~ 4th Child

Update #1

Update #2

Side note: Since we have the darling twins we get to count them as one update even though professional child-rearing experts skilled at helping mothers with multiples would say this is not healthy and has probably caused some developmental issues for them.

I say…whatever.

Update #3 is about our lovely 4th child. The lovely youngest Humpfreeze who is trapped in the body of an 11 year-old but longs to be 21 is doing fine.

Her April birthday wish was for a new bike. A new bike because her *old* bike was stolen from our front yard. Welcome to our neighborhood.

Icky people please leave.

But it wasn’t as if we hadn’t told her several dozen hundred times to put her bike away.

Ahh, the consequences of being smarter than your parents. It can leave you bike-less for a long year.

We are also pretty low-key, low-budget birthday people. Even before we were poor.

Birthdays with a cake and something in the $25 range. GASP. I hear people GASPING. Yes, that’s really true. Since birth, we’ve been consistent with that giant birthday budget. Sometimes a small party, a few friends but never a jumpee thing, a pony, a clown or 100 of their closest friends.

Child #4 aka Scary Baby knew getting a big ticket item like a bike from us wasn’t going to happen. So she started making a plan to save her birthday money from Grandma and Granny and hey, do you think those sissies will send me some money from Arizona so I can buy a new bike?

She calculated and decided she might need to make a little cash herself. Enter the clearance Easter candy-making kit from Wal-Mart for $2.25.

Scary Baby: Hey mom, I could make these chocolate suckers and go sell them to the neighbors to earn money for a new bike.

Me: Great idea – try to get the person who stole your bike to buy the most!

Scary Baby: Can I make them now. Right now. During The Masters. Why are you yelling at the TV when Tiger Woods makes a bad shot? Mom, mom, mom can I make them RIGHT NOW?

Me: Daddy would love to help you make flower and butterfly suckers.

$17 and some odd cents later her bike fund is ready.

Scary Baby: Hey daddy, hey daddy, hey daddy…can we go get my bike now? Right now?

New bike. Nice ride.

Yes, she does own a helmet.

And she seems to put this bike away much more frequently than the last one.

Personal note to Grandma, Granny & Darling Twins: She has written her thank-you notes and it’s mom who has not given her addresses and stamps to mail them. Really.

The next weekend she spent an afternoon with the clearance Easter cookie dough (75¢ a box) decorating cookies AND she took these pictures herself informing me that they would be perfect for “The Blog.”

Don’t you love Fondant Child’s photographic angle?

So for $3 bucks I got two craft activities I didn’t have to participate in and there was a net profit of $14 for her bike fund.

I love bargains.

A Decade + One Year

Was it really 11 years ago that I birthed that last baby?

She has brought us countless hours of entertainment…

She earned her name in so many ways.

And this year is no different.

Side note: She had some major stage fright in school performances even though she has always entertained us at home and in small groups of friends.

This is really for her darling twin sisters who couldn’t be at her breakout performance last month…and grandma and granny…and the 3 other readers brave enough to watch two minutes of PhilBillPaul’s very bad video of Scary Baby rapping with a friend from school…she’s the one on the left.

Happy Birthday darling last daughter.

We haven’t had a dull moment since you were born!

xoxo
Momma

Scary Baby Lemon Cake Bakery

The bakery can bear her name even if she only showed up for the fun part.

She used the Pampered Chef squirty icing thingy with expertise.

Yes, we are professional bakers with professional tools.

Perhaps I made the rest of the cake.

Labor intensive is an understatement. A cake with 4 different steps is not typically anything I tackle. I leave that to my friend Leigh Anne.

But the lemon cake recipes with gorgeous pictures that appeared on blogs here and here one day apart spoke to me.

So now my biggest Easter cooking decision was which lemon cake to make.

I went with the Lemon Truffle Cake.

The cake recipes are very, very similar with exception of quantity of baking powder, lemon zest and milk vs. buttermilk.

I did get wild and I used the Lemon Curd recipe from the Lemon Crumb Cake because Leigh Anne said it was amazing and she knows her lemon curd! (And I didn’t want to throw away 3 egg yolks.)

For non-bakers I want to break it down for you:

Step 1 >>> Homemade white cake – best cake I’ve ever made.

Step 2 >>> Homemade lemon curd – like I’ve ever made this in MY LIFE?!

Step 3 >>> Homemade filling – yum.

Step 4 >>> Homemade whipped cream – double yum.

Now I know that you could streamline all of this with a boxed white cake mix, a jar of lemon curd and a can of whipped cream (you’ll still have to mix up the filling of white chocolate, cream cheese and lemon curd) but since this was seriously the only thing I was cooking for Easter, I went for broke.

Oh, wait I did make cheeseburgers and baked beans.

Side note: We did go out to eat after church. It was a little weird for us to be a family of three with the darling twins in Arizona and The Grunter working.

Scary Baby did make the cake lovely with her finishing touches. She actually wanted to add lemon slices to the top but I had to nix that idea. (Remember this is the fondant child.) The lemon slices would have put us at 5 steps and I had already exceeded my time investment/dessert ratio.

She is also a 4th child who prefers the store bought, super tacky, premade Easter baskets to the homemade theme baskets created by her loving mother many years before she was born.

I have adapted to that change and sent PhilBillPaul to Walgreen’s on Friday to pick out her basket. Sad but true.

She is very discreetly covering the giant price tag sticker that he left on when he retrieved the said basket from his truck. The sticker was not easily removable from the cellophane.

Hello Walgreen’s? We can’t really pass it off as our own now, can we?

Have a great weekend and if you get bored or have company, bake a lemon cake–it’s a whole lot of cake for 3 people to eat. The Grunter doesn’t like lemon. Whatever.

P.S. I did give two slices to a friend and The Grunter’s girlfriend had a piece too. Rave reviews from both! Just didn’t want you to think that the 3 of us ate the whole cake.

Just Another Saturday Night

We spent time with our only child – Scary Baby – who has informed us that she’s not really enjoying her special time as an only child.

Her words: “I’m still not getting any attention.”

Wow, another resounding endorsement of our parenting skills. Not that we’re listing her as a reference.

We get this text as we were leaving Jenna’s basketball game…

Wizzy (6:27 pm): Messed up my foot im on the way to the er. Im hurtin

Nothing like having your kid at the Emergency Room a few states away. Obviously, we’re still new at this separation thing.

*****

Next, the Grunter calls during dinner and asks if we can bring his prescription to work for him.

Side note: After the steroid shot and new antibiotic, he proceeded to break out in hives last week. Which got him another round of steroids which is what he forgot to take to work after missing two weeks.

While we waited to hear how Wizzy was doing and spent more quality time with Scary Baby at dinner and grocery store, we stopped by the house and picked up The Grunter’s medicine.

This was our text message exchange:

Me: Confirm w/me what u need us to bring u

Everett: My steroid with the pink cap

Me: Can u come to mall door when we get there?

no response

Me: We’re on our way & we will leave it in the first potted plant on the right when u walk out if u can’t meet us at main mall door.

Everett: I cannot come out. If you can’t bring it up to door then don’t bother with something stupid. I just won’t take it.

Me: Baby

no response

Me: Have the hives zapped ur sense of humor?

The Grunter: Yessir

Almost at this same moment, Roger Leroy sent me this text:

Roger Leroy (9:27 pm): The xray was fine. And she just hurt the ligaments and she should be fine.

*****

Sunday afternoon’s live conversation…

Me: You were kind of ugly about your medicine when we were going out of our way to bring it to you, don’t you think?

The Grunter: I can’t leave when I’m working.

Me: OH PLEASE. I’ve seen you all at work. Don’t tell me you can’t say “Hey, I’ll be back in 5 minutes, I’ve gotta run to the front door…hold my broom, will ya?”

The Grunter: I CAN’T.

Me: It’s not like you’re on high security detail at the movies. Give me a break. You could be a little nicer when we were helping you out!

The Grunter: Bye.

Me: Have a lovely day pumpkin.

*****

Sunday night’s email picture update:

And finally, this sweet little status on Roger Leroy’s Facebook that I saw on Saturday night after all the fun…

Sweet on the surface.

Until I asked her what she missed about home. And she clarified that she meant she missed…

Georgia.

Yes, this is my real life.

How was your weekend?

Good Food, Good Friends, Good Game

Some people plan their blog posts.

Some people are organized.

Some people take pictures of the food before people start eating it.

Who are those “some people”?

Then I remind myself {again} that this is not a food blog. I’m slow like that.

We did change up our Annual Humpfreeze Superbowl Party tradition since the darling twins are in Arizona and The Grunter had to work.

Scary Baby carried on the sign making tradition.

She wanted her sisters to see that she managed without them.

We carried on the Knox Blox tradition.

She helped with the important toothpick pennants.

It was very nice for our Indiana friends to invite us over to cheer on the Indianapolis Colts for Superbowl last night.

Otherwise it would have been a tiny party of three at our house.

A few appetizers and some blue popcorn and pretzels drizzled in blue were transported over along with our Knox Blox.

Side note: The desserts were not half eaten when we arrived.

There was a ridiculous amount of delicious food which is mandatory for Superbowl parties, isn’t it?

And if the Colts had to lose, it was to a very well-deserving team. The New Orleans Saints really shined and that city is so worthy of the victory!

Good food, good friends, good game…it was a good weekend.

How was yours?

Play-Doh or Fondant

Play-Doh™ wasn’t on her Christmas list.

Fondant was.

Or as she says “Fon-daunt”

A few too many episodes of Cake Boss has got Scary Baby wanting to bake and more importantly, wanting to decorate baked goods.

Finally, this weekend I told her we could make cupcakes so she could use her Fondaunt.

Even though I knew it wouldn’t taste good. And she insisted it would.

We whipped up a batch of lemon cupcakes. High marks for adding lemon jello to your lemon cake mix to make it more lemon-y. I’m sure lemon-y is a word. Warm cupcakes got an A+

Next we discover we don’t have enough powdered sugar to make buttercream frosting. Yeah, that’s me – the mom who doesn’t embrace projects for this very reason. We’re always missing some key ingredient or craft item and the project takes double the time which does not equal double the fun.

After a run to the store, I will admit that I made the best buttercream frosting ever. Recipe was on Pioneer Woman {where else?} and is actually what Bakerella uses with some of her beautiful creations. I did add a little less than a teaspoon of lemon flavoring to the teaspoon of vanilla flavoring which made it light and lemon-y and extra delicious. Scary Baby and PhilBillPaul agreed.

Sorry, no pictures of the frosting.

She then took over and embraced the final details of her fondant project.

Not too bad for her first try.

But I did catch her hiding the fondant in her napkin to throw away.

Ahem…doesn’t taste so good…does it?

I recommend sticking with Play-Doh. Why ruin good food?

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