Answer to one burning question…

Wow, my plan to have lighthearted and funny posts on Monday has already been derailed.

Finding the funny becomes difficult when your children display poor judgment and make bad decisions.

When the assistant principal calls you on Friday afternoon to discuss discipline problems about two of your four children, the Superbowl party weekend takes on a different tone.

I’ll save the details of the school problems for later. Perhaps later will be when they are married with teenagers. I’m not making any promises though. I can only say that I will respect their privacy for now.

Here’s the thing about teenage problems vs. toddler problems. The timeout chair doesn’t work anymore. The consequences are much longer lasting. The impact of their poor judgment can affect more than just your immediate family.

It is also a time when you, as the parent, question all that you have tried to teach and wonder if they’re going to make it in the world.

Then you have to dig deep to find the consequences to match the actions. And follow through.

Because in the end, following through with the discipline with your kids means more than a minor inconvenience for the parents.

Because putting them on restrictions puts the whole family on restrictions.

For those of you who are still in the toddler or tween stage and haven’t made it to the teen years, it’s like staying home to potty train but oh, so much worse. Because they’re not so cute and funny anymore.

But you know that this really is about teaching them life lessons.

And those monotonous days you wanted to change are the days you wish you could bring back.

“Sure, I’ll read Green Eggs & Ham again.

I bow to those of you who have made it through this stage.

I wish I had some great tips for those of you approaching this stage.

But in the words of my good friend Ann, “I got nothing.”

And this weekend revealed the answer to the burning question on our Happy New Year card:

Why do we take more pictures of
our two wiener dogs than of our kids?

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Because right now, they are cuter and they don’t talk back.

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Life Lesson (LL): Just when you relax and think things are going well, teenagers will remind you that they were just lulling you into a false sense of security to see if you’re still paying attention. Especially when you thought you were already paying attention!

Share a Life Lesson (SALL): I am open to (and openly begging for) any constructive suggestions on making it through these teen years without becoming a bitter old woman with a substance abuse problem. Give yourself and your kids code names if necessary just share, please share…

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Scary Baby scares herself…

Scary Baby has always been good at finding ways to occupy herself. On this day two years ago, we were all inside when we heard an ear-piercing scream in the backyard. By the time Roger Leroy had flung the deck door open to see what was happening, Scary Baby had made it around to the front porch. She was banging on the front door screaming, “I’M BLIND, I’M BLIND.” We opened the door to see this (except she had clothes on and her eyes were shut)…

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This is what happens when you beat a can of spray paint with a rake.

PhilBillPaul yelled at Wizzy to go to the basement and get PAINT THINNER.

Sometimes our loved ones do not think clearly when faced with an emergency. PAINT THINNER???

I scooped up Scary Baby and ran upstairs with her and put in her in the bathtub while trying to calm her screaming and saying, “Keep your eyes closed tight and I’m going to rinse them with water. It’s going to be okay…”

Meanwhile, Roger Leroy had gone to the backyard and recovered the evidence–one very dented can of spray paint and a garden rake.

I’m not bragging here but I would be remiss if I didn’t tell you that…poison control said flushing with water was the right move and did not recommend using PAINT THINNER on her skin or hair.

Paint residue remained in her hair for several weeks.

I’m very happy to report her eyesight was not damaged.

Life Lesson (LL):Cans of spray paint, rakes and unsupervised children don’t mix well.

Share a Life Lesson (SALL):Any good stories you can share about leaving a child unsupervised so I can feel better about my slacker mom skills?

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It gets Different…

BIG LIE #2

“It will get better.”

LIE LIE LIE

That’s what countless moms tell each other. I know–they’ve told me. I can promise you that I have never, ever said that to anyone!

Truth:

It will get DIFFERENT.

You may or may not enjoy different parts of parenting and when we compare stories we will surely disagree on what part was “easiest.”

For me, I love, love, love the zero to 12 month stage. I truly love the sweet baby stage.

Favorite part: I like that when you put them somewhere, you come back and they’re still there and they don’t talk back. For me, after they became mobile it was all over.

Still to this very day, I find myself chanting, “I’m not qualified for this job.”

So what stage are you at? What stage have you liked best so far?

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