Teens
Wednesday, June 25, 2008, by Sherra
It is official!
They are seventeen years old today.
Here’s that “bday plan” I told you I’d share. As if this very neat and tidy written plan gave them permission to plan TWO MORE DAYS of birthday festivities.
Huge sigh…
Here are those tiny babies I had seventeen years ago and was sure I would die while birthing two babies…
Luckily I had PhilBillPaul to remind me that while I was having two babies I needed to relax and these were his exact words, “Because they don’t come out at the same time.”
That made me feel sooooo much better.
5 pounds 13 ounces and 6 pounds and 1/2 ounce still adds up to TWELVE pounds of babies and NO ONE in my family had twins.
Lucky for us and for them, they were pretty darn cute…
And it was nice to have a next-door neighbor who had her first baby eight weeks before I had the girls. We were both rookies at this parenting gig and we helped each other in those early years. Thanks Elizabeth for helping me with my three even when you just had one. (Who would have ever guessed we would both have four now? Neither of us!)
All through my pregnancy, one of my closest friends in my life was back in Tampa, calling, checking on me and cheering me on. She was so excited that I was having twins. Because she is a twin. She thought it would be really cool if I could have them on her birthday. Since I was due in late July, I told her I probably couldn’t schedule that for her.
Until my blood pressure spiked and the midwife said, “We need to induce labor and deliver these babies today.”
“WAIT” I might have squealed in the doctor’s office that day. I didn’t have my little bag packed for the hospital that they tell you to have ready. I had no childcare for The Grunter. I was huge and uncomfortable and high risk and delivering twins in the heat of an Atlanta summer is an added bonus but I wasn’t ready that day!
She gave me no choice and said she’d meet us at the hospital. We had only lived in our neighborhood for four months but southern hospitality was alive and well when neighbors we barely knew pitched in and took care of The Grunter who was not yet two.
As we got off the exit for the hospital, I called Luci and said, “I have until midnight tonight, right?” You would have thought she was having the babies. She screamed and was so excited and added another request…which I thought was a little greedy… since I was trying to comply with the birthday request…”If they’re two girls, name them Luci and Lori, okay?”
Because up to this point, we only knew that “Baby A” was a girl so “Baby B” was going to be a surprise.
I delivered twin daughters 4 weeks early on Luci and Lori’s birthday.
Because that’s the kind of friend I always strive to be.
In Tampa near their first birthday Luci and Lori got to hold the twins that were born on their birthday but are not their namesakes! As you can see, Luci and Lori are as fraternal as my two lovelies.
Last year for their milestone 16th birthday, they got to spend the week with Luci and Lori and their families in Tampa. This was, of course, before I knew we’d be having this Birthmonth Party this year for their 17th year.
I did have one special request for Luci. I asked if she could “recreate” as best she could, the picture of her and Lori with my twins. It’s a big deal for them that Lori, the firstborn, was paired with Roger Leroy and Luci was paired with the younger (by 18 minutes) Wizzy.
Being one of my funny friends, Luci not only complied with my request…they actually woke up the girls before they were leaving early on the last day my girls were flying home. Not such a great picture of the girls but I still framed it and it always makes me smile.
Luci is the friend who brought PhilBillPaul to the hospital after the car crash. She and I were roommates before I got married. She has been there through the best of times and the worst of times and continues to be one of those lights in my life and we have loved each other through some giant life milestones.
It is a double birthday today in our extended family.
Happy birthday to Luci (and Lori) too!
Okay, I’ll wrap up this double long post (that’s what happens when you have twins) with a photo tribute to these daughters of mine who continue to tempt me to start drinking alcohol. Stupid mom #2 pointed out that the reason we have baby pictures is to remind us of how cute they were when we’re not feeling the cute during these teen years. Sage observation!
They were pretty darn cute kindergarten girls.
Basketball at church at age seven was darn funny to watch. This was Roger Leroy’s boy haircut stage and she loved it.
Daddy really loved having twin daughters. In the early days, they were “chick magnets” if he pushed them in the stroller at the mall. Looking back now, I guess I should have been more concerned about this…but I was too tired to care.
5th grade uniforms made me very happy! Roger Leroy’s hair growing back also made me happy.
A giant growth spurt in 6th and 7th grade made Wizzy very happy.
In the early years, they actually let me (okay, it was a rule) fix their hair. And they wore girly colors like pink and purple. I obviously did not win on the girly shoe or sandal selection.
Apparently I traumatized them because they will wear nothing in any shade of pink or purple now unless it has a basketball or cross country logo on it.
As you can see, they have also been traumatized by a mother who took pictures incessantly. Some day they will be grateful for this. Some day they will understand the historical value of a picture like this one taken in 1997…
And they will forgive me for insisting PhilBillPaul take them out last night to pose for this one…
Look at the joy on their faces. It is so sweet that we have that moment captured on film.
In spite of all the ups and downs of parenting them, we couldn’t imagine our life without them. We are very proud of the young women they are becoming…
And every single day we tell them we love them. Because we do.
I love you baby girls…
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Categories: Finding the Funny, Milestones, Teens
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Monday, June 16, 2008, by Sherra
He has always been a nice dad.
Since he’s not my dad, I didn’t get him a Father’s Day present. Or a card.
Nice Dad always gets me something nice for Mother’s Day. Even though I’m not his mother.
You would think I would reciprocate by getting him something nice.
I’m pretty sure I have in years past. I just forgot this year.
So here’s my attempt to make up for my thoughtlessness.
Lucky for me I have this blog. 
Here’s a photo tribute to what a Nice Dad he is…
I love to look back at the pictures and see how
he lit up being a dad, starting with The Grunter.
He didn’t even seem to mind when I dressed
my two handsome guys alike in pink shirts.
It only took him about eight weeks after the twin girls were born…
and a strong threat that he might find himself living in his car…
to jump in and actively participate in parenting two more babies.
Side note: We never call parenting “babysitting.”
BIG issue for me when moms say dad is “babysitting.”
As if I was babysitting while he was working? UGH!
He actually rose to the challenge and put many of the
other dads to shame taking care of his children while my home business grew and he always recognized that I needed time to myself.
That 4th baby just made his heart grow bigger.
Side note: Did anyone notice that in addition to being N-I-C-E,
he doesn’t take a bad picture?
Some day I know our kids will look back and realize what an amazing and involved Nice Dad that they had!
Until then, he’ll just have to take my word for it…
Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children. –Charles Swindoll
Take a moment to leave a comment and share a great memory about your own dad or the dad of your kids.
I hope you all had a wonderful weekend celebrating the fathers in your family. For those of you whose fathers have passed away, I know you fully understand when I say that I miss my dad every day and not just on Father’s Day.
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Categories: Raves, Teens, Toddlers (& babies), Tweens
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Wednesday, June 11, 2008, by Sherra
It’s Tuesday night as I write my Wednesday post having totally missed writing on Monday. Being spontaneous can get in the way of blogging.
We spent an extra night in Nashville. You cannot believe how exhausting it is to listen to country music.
Actually, I think it was most exhausting to travel with three teenage girls.
From the teenage daughters’ perspective (because much to their dismay, I was both a teenager and a daughter) and as their mother, I am entitled to speak for them…
These are the observations I made on this trip that I realize will not be giant revelations for many of you. Think of them more as the beginning of the by-laws for our Mean Mother Club…
- Mothers are stupid.
- Mothers are embarrassing.
- Mothers should not dance.
- Mothers should not like country music.
- Mothers should not think a country music singer is
“good looking”, “cute” or “hot”.
My biggest personal revelation about teenage girls is that there are many ways that this season of their life is very similar to the one you thought you had already made it through–the toddler stage…
- They throw tantrums when they don’t get their way.
- They are loud at inappropriate times.
- They are very cranky when they don’t get enough sleep.
- They are very, very stubborn.
- Everything is a power struggle. “I do it myself.”
-
You have to keep your eye on them or they get lost.
(Roger Leroy & Sharté got on the wrong shuttle bus and went to Opryland which is nowhere near downtown Nashville.)
Fellow Stupid Mother and friend Lisa and I did have tons of fun in spite of the teenagers.
The teenagers had tons of fun in spite of their mothers.
I think they would all agree that one of the biggest highlights of the four-day festival was on Friday.
First the back story…
They had to walk seven blocks because Stupid Mother #1 (me) overheard that THE ONE singer who they HAD TO meet and get HER autograph, was shooting a video outside on the steps of the Ryman Auditorium. I actually had to demand that they come because they were *busy* at the Sports Zone about to play some game or spin some wheel to win a laminated calendar or matchbox car.
What followed was waiting for over two hours in sweltering heat standing curbside just five steps from a drum set waiting to see who was coming out.
SHE came out and was darling and was overwhelmed by the crowd that had gathered. SHE sang a new song that no one had heard before. SHE came down to the yellow police tape and shook hands and thanked everyone for coming.
The crowd dispersed.
Stupid Mother #1 quietly said to Roger Leroy, “You know SHE has to come out of the building but it won’t be out of these doors. You all need to go around and find the door with a car or limo and maybe you can get her autograph.”
Roger Leroy said, as she rolled her eyes, “I’m thirsty and we’re going back to the Sports Zone. We’ll get HER autograph tomorrow.”
(Because standing in line with 800 people who also got tickets to get HER autograph the next day would be super fun.)
Stupid Mother #1 said to Stupid Mother #2 (Lisa) “I just told her that SHE will have to come out the building and the girls should find the back door but Roger Leroy is thirsty and I guess I’m just having another stupid idea.”
I gave it one more shot and asked Roger Leroy if she had told Sharté
(#1 fan) what I had suggested.
They had a private teenager conference. Sharté asked where I thought they should go. I suggested the alley and walk around the building.
They actually started down the alley!
About 30 minutes later, they came around the corner, running uphill in 100 degree weather screaming like excited, happy toddlers.
Because they met HER and SHE asked if they wanted a picture with HER…
Taylor Swift
is a delightful and refreshing role model for teenage girls.
HER debut album where all the songs she either wrote or co-wrote is triple platinum. SHE is a recent high school graduate and is currently touring with Rascal Flatts.
And she TOUCHED our daughters!!!!!
The Stupid Mothers were very happy for their daughters!
We hope they will always remember this special trip.
We hope they know how very much we love them…
through every season.
Meanwhile, the Stupid Mothers loved, loved, loved listening and looking at Josh Turner, Keith Urban, Chuck Wicks, Luke Bryan, Craig Morgan, Rodney Atkins, Alan Jackson, Trace Adkins and many, many other great musicians.
Oh, and Carrie Underwood, Faith Hill, Sara Evans, Kellie Pickler, Miranda Lambert, and many other ladies were really good too.
Teenage daughters will have to get their own blog to tell their side of the story.
P.S. Would you please send me an email and let me know if you received this post or my Friday post through your email subscription OR if you read my blog through an RSS feed? I think the service is not working again. I love to try to fix things that are out of my control…
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Categories: Finding the Funny, Friends, Moments, Teens
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Wednesday, June 4, 2008, by Sherra
Before I divulge the location of the birthday trip for the darling twin daughters, can I just say that I’m less than inspired that only TWO of you commented on Flexible Friday (thanks Kerri & Wendy) about whether you have a ME day or ME hour and what you do with your ME time?!
Ladies, seriously. No one schedules time for themselves and will share how they do it?
Or are you all so busy with your ME time that you’re unable to click the “Comment” link at the bottom of the post and comment? Come on, we’re suppose to be inspiring each other here!
Okay, I’ll stop ranting about that and move right into a rave!
I’m taking the girls to Nashville for the CMA Country Music Festival.
Stop laughing.
For many, country music has become more mainstream with artists like Carrie Underwood, Faith Hill, Tim McGraw, Sugarland, etc., who have all had crossover hits in recent years.
True Confessions
For me, I’ve loved country since I was in grade school. I have Charley Pride albums. I saw Kenny Rogers in high school at the State Fair.
I have the Statler Brothers autographed 8 x 10 picture.
Ahem, your laughing is getting louder. I can hear it in Georgia.
It’s not the only music I love. I really love all kinds of music. I can’t imagine life without music. As I noted in the “About Sherra” page, I had an iPod before iPods were cool.
I was a teen in the late 70’s and early 80’s and also went to Summer Jam concerts and heard REO Speedwagon, AC/DC, Cheap Trick, Head East, The Baby’s and even went on .38 Special’s tour bus.
See how well-rounded I am?
But Barbara Mandrell, Lee Greenwood, T.G. Shepherd were all concerts I loved too.
I can still hear the Tammy Wynette, Lynn Anderson, Roy Clark and Johnny Cash albums that my parents played.
Yes, we did watch Hee Haw at my house in the Midwest.
Should I not admit that? Sorry family.
It is a requirement to like country music if you live with me. PhilBillPaul tolerates it. The Grunter not so much.
“Poor Phil” (as my family likes to refer to him) has sat through Garth Brooks, Shania Twain, Tim McGraw, Faith Hill, Kenny Chesney and some others I’m sure I’m forgetting.
All three of my girls love it. Maybe it is more of a chick thing?
I had always heard about this big Nashville event called Fan Fair and wanted to go. Some years ago, they changed the name to the CMA Music Festival and moved it to downtown Nashville.
My friend Ann shared with me that when Dan returned from Iraq that she wanted to do more things for herself (oh, that sounds like a ME day or even better, a ME trip and she might need a friend to go with her!).
One of those things on her list was to go to more music concerts because she loves music so much. She had just recently gotten more into country music and wanted to go to a live concert or two.
Don’t give me an idea if you don’t really mean it. I told her I knew of a concert that might be beyond her idea of a *little* live concert. It’s actually a four day event and anyone she could think of would be there.
We’ve been for the past two years and were going to go again this year. Alas, that darn husband surprised her with a trip to England.
(Nice job Dan )
I got over it and then mentioned to my girls that maybe we could go if they wanted to chip in and it would be their birthday present.
We’re leaving today and if you even remotely like country music - it is an event like nothing I’ve ever witnessed. You can check out the details and all the artists who will be performing at cmafest.com.
It’s an amazing event and this is fair warning that you will have to endure pictures that I will post next week when we return!
On Flexible Friday, I’m already thinking I’ll post some of my favorite country songs.
Yee Haw!
Admit it, you want to know what’s on my iPod.
If you stop laughing, I might just tell you…
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Categories: Finding the Funny, Friends, Moments, Raves, Teens
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Monday, June 2, 2008, by Sherra
No need to panic, I’m not actually creating theme days for my postings.
Although panic does rhyme with manic and I’ve been know to pen a poem or two, I’m not in the mood for poetry these days. Lucky for you.
I wondered if “manic” was the correct word for my Monday so I checked to be sure and the synonyms at dictionary.com included frenzied, agitated, and frantic so yes, my word choice does, unfortunately, fit.
I’ve had a very, very Weary Weekend. Teenagers who can’t seem to follow simple directions and/or rules especially when I know these facts…
•They are smart enough
•They are good enough
•They are not hearing-impaired
I know their brains are not fully formed. I know this is a test of my stamina and fortitude. I know that many of you have lived through it and come out on the other side…and you are my inspiration and my heroes.
I also know for those of you not at this season, there is no reason for me to tell you sordid stories that would curl your hair and create stress at what may lie ahead.
Instead, I just take this moment to vent. And thank you for listening and offering support through comments and private emails. Some day, when the teens have left the nest, I’m sure I’ll share the details. Maybe even with pictures.
Yes, however shallow or petty that may seem, it keeps me going because I do need other women to tell me I’m not crazy, unreasonable and there is a life to look forward to after teens.
One other reason for my Manic Monday is that I am in the midst of planning an semi-impromptu birthday trip for my darling twin daughters who will turn 17 in a few weeks.
I’ll reveal where we’re going on Wednesday so half of you can laugh that I’m a nerd and the other half will wish you were meeting us there.
Until Wednesday…thank you for listening.
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Categories: Finding the Funny, Rants, Teens
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Wednesday, May 28, 2008, by Sherra
I am often asked what our dating *rules* are at the Humphreys house.
People seem to be fascinated that we have three teenagers at home while they usually only have one or maybe two. Almost seems like they are gloating that their family planning was better executed than ours.
Or maybe I’m just defensive about our lack of planning. Go figure. Yes, I’m tired. Is it showing?
PhilBillPaul and I have a list that we’ve discussed at length made up as we’ve gone along this journey of parenthood.
Rule number one
No dating until they are 16.
It kept things simple and uncomplicated and we announced this rule early. I think we may have started chanting it when they started kindergarten.
The definition of dating for us is getting in a car and going somewhere without adult chaperones. We like to be crystal clear with our definitions because it seems that their full-time job is twisting our words, looking for loopholes and the Never Enough Syndrome.
We have strong, personal feelings that no adolescent needs to have a boyfriend or girlfriend any earlier. We’re still not convinced they need one at 16 but we’re trying to remember the joys of youth and a still-developing brain.
We did have a few *special* visitors at the house before they were 16. We even took them to a movie with us and that means we ALL went to the same movie and sat in the same row and everything.
It’s a real bonding time - double dating with your parents - they love it!
Okay, maybe not so much but I will say it gives you an idea of how interested the dating candidate is if they’ll go to a movie with you and your mom and dad.
(I can also spot a brown noser a mile away so that doesn’t work for me!)
Rule number two
The individual who would like to go on an actual date with a Humphreys teen must come to the house to meet the family and participate in what I like to refer to as “The Interrogation Dinner.”
Roger Leroy has given the dinner a more friendly name. She calls it “The Stupid Home Date” and places special emphasis on the word stupid.
The Interrogation Dinner involves sitting down to dinner with all of us. I make no secret that we will be conducting an interrogation and I tell the potential date just that.
These are just a few things we look for as we start the interrogation:
1) Do they make eye contact with us? That’s huge for me.
2) Do they speak clearly or mumble?
3) Do they answer our questions or try to dodge them?
We ask them to share things like:
1) Tell us about your family
2) Tell us about school…how are your grades, what classes you’re taking, etc.
3) Tell us about your job…you do have a job, don’t you?
We end with:
1) We’d like your cell phone number and who is your service provider?*
2) Spell your last name and what will we find if we Google you?
3) One of us usually says to the other, “Did you get their social security number?”
*Major bonus if they have the same cell phone carrier as your family. Or not. You’ll have to weigh this one carefully.
The girls spend lots of time during the dinner saying things like, “They’re just kidding.”
And we counter with a deadpan, “No, we’re not.”
We love to gauge their responses and stress levels. You can really learn a lot about a person over dinner.
We know it’s hard to hang at the Humphreys house and we want them to know what they’re getting into before they invest their time and money with one of our precious teens.
We end with:
Has _______ (insert teen’s name) told you we are absolute freaks about car safety?
To which Roger Leroy recently replied in a flat voice as she rolled her eyes, “Oh yeah, my mom was in a coma for like 11 days…”
The date candidate was duly impressed. He has completed the first phase of our approval and they’re in their 4th week of dating. Woo-hoo.
Bonus points if:
1) They are nice to Scary Baby and the wiener dogs
2) They interact well with the other siblings
3) They actually eat while we interrogate & don’t lose their appetite
Rule number three
The date must be planned in advance and no changes are allowed after they leave the house. Tell us where you’re going, who will be there and what time you’ll be home (within our pre-set curfew). They know that we will and we have shown up where they are suppose to be and they darn well better be there.
We really “go with our gut” and we’re not afraid to share that with the kids. There is a lot of intuition that plays into this. We have welcomed each guest who they have wanted to have over for “The Home Date” but they haven’t all passed with flying colors. We’re trying to teach them how to trust their intuition as well. Because sometimes that’s all you have. And sometimes that will save you in a bad situation. It may even save your life.
We’re no experts and have done plenty of things wrong and will continue to make mistakes. We will also continue to parent and make them abide by our rules while they live in our home.
Three rules. And somehow they still find ways to make it difficult. I know this is their job. To push us up against the wall and see if they can wear us out. I’m worn out. PhilBillPaul is worn out. Lucky for them, being worn out isn’t the same as giving up. We will not surrender!
Little Lesson (LL): There is no perfect system. Just be involved and get to know who they are with.
Share a Little Lesson (SALL): Please, please share your dating tips, rules, or thoughts here. We all need each other’s help!!
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Categories: Finding the Funny, Little Lessons, Teens
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Friday, May 23, 2008, by Sherra
For us, Day One of Summer was officially yesterday.
On Wednesday evening, PhilBillPaul and I enjoyed a lovely dinner out by ourselves and we had an animated discussion on starting the summer off by making a solid, serious plan for regaining control at our house.
Crazy things were discussed like getting our kids to do their chores every day. The chores that we consider a normal part of being a family member.
We got even crazier and thought we would sit down and talk to our lovely children about all of us working together to create a peaceful environment at home. We thought we could all start fresh and have a nice, relaxing summer.
Still trying to help them connect the dots about this simple fact:
“Mom won’t yell if you did the things we’ve asked you to do since you were three.”
We’re tough, I tell you. Here are some of the unreasonable things we keep reminding nagging them about…
“The rules haven’t changed.”
“Work before play.”
“Clean up your own mess.”
“Make your bed.”
“Brush your teeth.”
“Put toliet paper in the bathroom.”
“Hair brushes don’t belong on the kitchen counter.”
“Bath towels belong on your hook, not the floor.”
“Beach towels are not to be used as bath towels.”
And my all-time favorite because I just want one place in my whole house untouched by sticky hands and dirty feet…
“Stay out of our bedroom.”
Imagine my delight when we got home to find a water glass on my night stand that wasn’t mine, the TV set at a volume I’ve never listened to in my life and American Idol’s season finale deleted from my Tivo.
Oh yes, Mama Bear said someone has eaten my porridge, slept in my bed and left a big trail of evidence.
I won’t even go into the *story* that we got a.k.a. THE BIG LIE that kept getting bigger.
So our first day of summer was spent contemplating how long two of the three teens are grounded.
So much for our peace treaty.
Okay, I’ll stop now. As you can see, my expectations are way too high. This is all my fault.
Everyone would be a lot happier if I took more Valium and never left my bedroom.
I’ll let you know how Day Two goes…
Little Lesson (LL): The fun never ends.
Share a Little Lesson (SALL): What unreasonable things are you requiring your kids to do this summer? Eating, sleeping and going places doesn’t count.
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Wednesday, May 21, 2008, by Sherra
The graduation party fun seems to be all-consuming for families with seniors (and families with kindergarteners?).
The Grunter has made this all a little too easy for us since he’s not participating in the ceremony and didn’t want to have a party.
I’d feel more guilty about it if he hadn’t made a lot of other things really hard for us and in case anyone forgets, we will have TWO more seniors next year. I’m pretty certain they’ll be walking in the ceremony and want a party too. I’ve heard that I need to start the planning now. (Giant SIGH)
Here’s a little last minute tip for those supermom party planners (i.e. my friend Leigh Anne) who need just one more thing to do for the party…luckily these are super-easy graduation treats for the food table and you can never have too much chocolate!
I’m putting this is my “party file” for next year. (Yeah, sure, I have a party file.)
Our neighbor had these at her son’s party over the weekend and they were gone by the time we arrived. She was nice enough to email me the instructions and the link. Thanks Marla!
Aren’t these just too stinkin’ cute?!
Grad Caps
Miniature peanut butter cups
Frosting or peanut butter
Chocolate-covered graham crackers
Fruit leather
Step 1
Place a miniature peanut butter cup, bottom up, on a plate. Top with a small dollop of frosting or peanut butter, then press on a chocolate-covered graham cracker.
Step 2
For a tassel, tightly roll up a small square of fruit leather. Cut fringe on one end and attach the other end to the center of the graham cracker with another dab of frosting or peanut butter.
The idea comes from FamilyFun.com
Sidenote: Someone on the website suggested using mini m&m’s to hold the tassel.
There’s even a video if you need help assembling them. Seriously…let me know if you needed the video.
Print This Recipe
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Categories: Food, Friends, Raves, Teens
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Monday, May 19, 2008, by Sherra
It’s graduation week here in the South. The open houses and parties have begun.
We’ve been through graduation with our firstborn once before.
He made it through kindergarten with flying colors.
As if any of us needed to wear a cap and gown and “graduate” from kindergarten. Sure, we bought right into the new ritual. Ahh, the peer pressure.
He sailed through elementary school even when we homeschooled (gasp) during his 4th grade year.
He was a cute 1st grader.
Middle school (known as junior high back in my day) was relatively painless as well.
He was a cute 7th grader too. Yes, I know I’m biased.
He will remind me that homeschooling again (double gasp) in 8th grade created struggles for him in high school. Math specifically.
Sorry, Bud, I did the best I could.
We made the best educational decisions we could throughout the years. We have experienced private Christian school, homeschooling and public school.
We know there is no such thing as the perfect school much like we know there are no perfect children or perfect parents.
Eighteen years and thirteen years of school have not really flown by. Some people claim that the years fly by. Sometimes I have even claimed that.
The Grunter has survived being our firstborn and our “test boy.” He has actually passed again with flying colors.
Don’t get me wrong - the journey has not always been smooth sailing. The Cocoa Krispie Nightmare was just one of our many struggles I can write about while still maintaining some decorum (and while he still lives at home with us).
He is not walking in his high school graduation ceremony. After he told me three times he didn’t want to go to the ceremony, I listened. It seems to have created more stress for friends and family than it has for him or us.
This is the first of many decisions he is making on his own.
This is the part where my job description as mom starts to change.
This is the part where I worry and praise and love and pray.
This is the part where you start to let go.
This picture is one of my all-time favorites in his photo album when he was just a wee little naked baby learning to walk.
The quote I wrote on the page of his album so many years ago and is very poignant for me right now…
“A boy has two jobs. One is just being a boy.
The other is growing up to be a man.”
–Herbert Hoover
His job of being a boy is almost over.
His job of becoming a man is just beginning.
Life Lesson (LL): Growing and nurturing a baby boy into a man is a hard, scary job.
Share a Life Lesson (SALL): Share how your “babies” are turning out. Moms supporting moms makes the job a little less overwhelming!
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Categories: Life Lessons, Milestones, Teens
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Monday, May 12, 2008, by Sherra
At our house, we call it the “Never Enough” syndrome. It seems that no matter what we buy, give or do, it’s “never enough.” If we say yes, they ask for one more thing. If we say midnight, they say “12:30.” If we say pick one, they say “two. If we say pick two, they say “three.”
Okay, you get the idea. Anyone else relate to this syndrome?
Reflecting on a quiet Mother’s Day yesterday and keeping focused on my job as the mean mom with Scary Baby grounded for the day and the teenagers all working, I thought of one of my favorite Erma Bombeck writings. I know it has made its way around the internet email forwarding system many times. Often without proper attribution.
My kids actually read the blog from time to time and I wonder if they’re still too young to really “get it.”
Fellow mean moms get it.
Erma got it.
It’s really worth reading again.
You Don’t Love Me
“You don’t love me!”
How many times have your kids laid that one on you?
And how many times have you, as a parent, resisted the urge to tell them how much?
Someday when my children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a mother I’ll tell them.
I loved you enough to bug you about where you were going, with whom, and what time you would get home.
I loved you enough to insist you buy a bike with your own money that we could afford and you couldn’t.
I loved you enough to be silent and let you discover your hand-picked friend was a creep.
I loved you enough to make you return a Milky Way with a bite out of it to a drugstore and confess, “I stole this.”
I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your bedroom, a job that would have taken me fifteen minutes.
I loved you enough to say, “Yes, you can go to Disney World on Mother’s Day.”
I loved you enough to let you see anger, disappointment, disgust, and tears in my eyes.
I loved you enough not to make excuses for your lack of respect or your bad manners.
I loved you enough to admit that I was wrong and ask your forgiveness.
I loved you enough to ignore “what every other mother” did or said.
I loved you enough to let you stumble, fall, hurt, and fail.
I loved you enough to let you assume the responsibility for you own actions, at six, ten, or sixteen.
I loved you enough to figure you would lie about the party being chaperoned, but forgave you for it … after discovering I was right.
I loved you enough to shove you off my lap, let go of your hand, be mute to your pleas … so that you had to stand alone.
I loved you enough to accept you for what you are, not what I wanted you to be.
But most of all, I loved you enough to say no when you hated me for it. That was the hardest part of all.
–Erma Bombeck
I hope all you mean moms (and nice moms) had a wonderful Mother’s Day.
And I hope and pray that my kids know that I have always loved them enough even when it seems like it is never enough…
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Categories: Love Languages, Milestones, Moments, Teens, Tweens
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