Teens
Monday, March 1, 2010, by Sherra
We spent time with our only child – Scary Baby – who has informed us that she’s not really enjoying her special time as an only child.
Her words: “I’m still not getting any attention.”
Wow, another resounding endorsement of our parenting skills. Not that we’re listing her as a reference.
We get this text as we were leaving Jenna’s basketball game…
Wizzy (6:27 pm): Messed up my foot im on the way to the er. 
Im hurtin
Nothing like having your kid at the Emergency Room a few states away. Obviously, we’re still new at this separation thing.
*****
Next, the Grunter calls during dinner and asks if we can bring his prescription to work for him.
Side note: After the steroid shot and new antibiotic, he proceeded to break out in hives last week. Which got him another round of steroids which is what he forgot to take to work after missing two weeks.
While we waited to hear how Wizzy was doing and spent more quality time with Scary Baby at dinner and grocery store, we stopped by the house and picked up The Grunter’s medicine.
This was our text message exchange:
Me: Confirm w/me what u need us to bring u
Everett: My steroid with the pink cap
Me: Can u come to mall door when we get there?
no response
Me: We’re on our way & we will leave it in the first potted plant on the right when u walk out if u can’t meet us at main mall door.
Everett: I cannot come out. If you can’t bring it up to door then don’t bother with something stupid. I just won’t take it.
Me: Baby
no response
Me: Have the hives zapped ur sense of humor?
The Grunter: Yessir
Almost at this same moment, Roger Leroy sent me this text:
Roger Leroy (9:27 pm): The xray was fine. And she just hurt the ligaments and she should be fine.
*****
Sunday afternoon’s live conversation…
Me: You were kind of ugly about your medicine when we were going out of our way to bring it to you, don’t you think?
The Grunter: I can’t leave when I’m working.
Me: OH PLEASE. I’ve seen you all at work. Don’t tell me you can’t say “Hey, I’ll be back in 5 minutes, I’ve gotta run to the front door…hold my broom, will ya?”
The Grunter: I CAN’T.
Me: It’s not like you’re on high security detail at the movies. Give me a break. You could be a little nicer when we were helping you out!
The Grunter: Bye.
Me: Have a lovely day pumpkin.
*****
Sunday night’s email picture update:
And finally, this sweet little status on Roger Leroy’s Facebook that I saw on Saturday night after all the fun…
Sweet on the surface.
Until I asked her what she missed about home. And she clarified that she meant she missed…
Georgia.
Yes, this is my real life.
How was your weekend?
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Monday, February 1, 2010, by Sherra
Last week I said to PhilBillPaul,
“I hate it when they are home. I hate it when they leave.”
Their leaving last week caused a wee bit of stress.
Understatement of the year.
Stress that only parents can understand. And even then, some of you don’t know what I’m talking about. Maybe because your darlings haven’t left yet.
The darling twins are now gone for five months. I’m equating this departure to a semester abroad. Except they are in Arizona. So I guess it’s a semester out west. 
They will thrive and shine. They will be fine. Because we have prepared them for life in ways I’ve seen many of their peers are not prepared. For that, we are grateful.
We know they are equipped with life skills and life lessons. Even though they choose not to use those skills here at our house.
Roger Leroy sent me this text tonight just as I was about to write this…
“You not sharing any life lessons lately is bothering me.”
Funny kid.
I don’t like the blog pressure. Funny thing about the blog is that when I don’t write, people worry.
Sweet, kind people who wonder if something is wrong.
A few emails. A few phone messages.
As if my silence might indicated that my feet have been dangling dangerously close to the edge of The Black Hole.
Or that I may have set a personal record and taken xan*x three days in a row.
Side note: I’m not spelling the drug name out any more as it seems to attract spammers offering me all kinds of interesting pharmaceuticals.
I’m fine, fine, fine. I promise.
I’ve just been really busy doing some blog design work in between recovering from the holidays and spending quality time with the family.
I do miss them when they aren’t here. I really do.
Since this blog is really my online family photo album and my personal therapy, I’ll share this tiny glimpse of what I don’t and won’t miss…
Photos compliments of Scary Baby because I couldn’t bear to look again.
Oh yes, that is my precious little blue bug (that Wizzy is in the process of buying) and that is where a passenger is suppose to put their feet.
Why yes, that is chocolate milk and orange juice. And marinara sauce on the floor mat, I think. For the record, in an attempt to make me feel better, Wizzy did say it was OPT…Other People’s Trash.
Yes, as a matter of fact, I did cry. And scream. A lot.
Another proud week at the Humpfreeze.
Note to darling twins: I did refrain from posting pictures of your room (again). Or your laundry. Where Dad found a clean stack of clothes still folded in the bottom of one of your hampers tonight covered with dirty clothes you left here. Nice.
Just want to keep it real.
Where is that prescription bottle?
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Categories: Milestones, Rants, Teens
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Wednesday, January 20, 2010, by Sherra
We’re in countdown mode here at the Humpfreeze house as the darling twins will be leaving next week for 5 months in Arizona. It’s time for their military job training for the Army National Guard.
I won’t bore you with the military’s second language consisting mostly of acronyms about AIT and what their MOS is and their last weekend of RSP.
What I will bore you with is how the darling twins along with their friend Jenna kicked some serious butt at their weekend drill in December. It was family day and I was home sick but PhilBillPaul and Scary Baby went. And luckily Jenna’s family brought their camera. Thank you Ed and Dar!
Nothing like a little friendly competition among soldiers. It’s important to know that the group consisted of about 100 males and less than 20 females.
A little tug-of-war.
Some physical training.
Combatives.
Plus a variety of other events and challenges. In the end, the girls shined!
A total of 5 trophies were given out and 3 were given to our girls…
3 point shoot out:
First Place ~ Lizzie
Drill & Ceremony:
First Place ~ Rachel
Pugil Stick:
First Place ~ Jenna
PLUS Jenna also received a medal for basketball. At the end of the day, she was the only one to receive two awards!
I’m not sure their recruiter really understood that he landed 3 golden female recruits and since I’m the mom of two of them, my opinion appears to be a little biased!
When I asked him if he was beaming with pride at his 3 lovely recruits kicking some butt …
Him: “They surprised everyone including me.”
Me: “I beg your pardon? You didn’t expect them to shine?”
Him: “I didn’t expect them to dominate”
No surprise for us.
The Army National Guard is lucky to have these three amazing female soldiers. We already knew that.
I’m pretty sure the trophies were a little cheesy and mostly for the families’ benefit. While we appreciate the gesture, we don’t need trophies to remind us of how incredibly proud we are of our daughters!
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Categories: Finding the Funny, Moments, Raves, Teens
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Monday, January 11, 2010, by Sherra
Seems many folk think that when you say you are taking your family tubing in January in the South that they think you are referring to tubing in a river in ice cold water – which, by the way, is often ice cold water in the summer.
News flash, in addition to sledding on cardboard boxes, garbage can lids and air mattresses, we are actually within driving distance of…
SNOW Tubing
Woo-hoo!
We planned a family day to drive to North Carolina to play in the snow. We wanted to do something fun with the kids before the darling twins are off again on their next adventure – this time to Arizona for 5 months for their Army National Guard job training.
This was no small feat because we had to find a day that none of them had to work and before The Grunter’s new classes started. Oh, and we still have that precious Scary Baby in elementary school. And we didn’t want to fight the weekend crowds because I hate crowds.
No problem, PhilBillPaul and Scary Baby were gracious enough to take a “day off” from their regularly scheduled life and we headed to Tube World on a day where Atlanta was preparing for a blizzard (2 inches of snow predicted)!
First though, about 10 hours were spent trying to locate Mr. Humpfreeze’s Lands’ End squall jacket. Never found.
Please do not ask how you lose a winter coat. My mom already did. It’s a very sensitive subject right now.
Next, two hours at Walmart buying 4 pairs of gloves because any winter items here are lost like socks in the dryer. And boots because my Lands’ End squall boots went missing too.
Fun! Fun! Fun!
The tubes go way faster than you might think.
Tube World is first class all the way with their moving carpet lift so you don’t have to WALK back up the hill!
I skipped a few rides up the moving carpet so I could snap some pictures as they came down.
My glasses were iced over so I took some pictures of other people’s kids. I’m not sure any of those pin dots are my family.
I think this is part of my family…
I think I know these people…
The $1.50 face mask was the best money spent for Scary Baby. Though she didn’t take kindly to the Tube World teen staff calling her “little man”.
Might be because she also had her brother’s old winter coat on. She did take the face mask off during one ride so they could see that she was a GIRL!
We drove home in semi-treacherous weather. Any snow is a blizzard to my kids. The roads were slick and turning to ice. Scary Baby got a snow day on Friday which was a bonus.
Here’s how much snow was on the deck when we arrived home.
A solid inch – look closely. Wizzy ran right out to eat some fresh snow.
Southern babies – it’s fun to see snow through their eyes. 
What did Atlanta folk do with all our snow here last week? To those of you who live in a cold winter state…do you take advantage of playing in the snow?
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Wednesday, January 6, 2010, by Sherra
The Grunter was the proud recipient of Scary Baby’s re-gifting prank. She ran out of money bought candy and didn’t get him a gift. On Christmas Eve she ran to her room and quickly wrapped something to give him.
We all knew it was a re-gift. She loves to give. I was thinking maybe a stuffed animal or some art supplies.
Instead, she gave him…
A two piece bathing suit.
Just what he always wanted. She thought this was the hysterical high point of Christmas morning.
It might have been but you shouldn’t try to punk your brother like that. He’s likely to get you back.
He quietly went into the bathroom and came out donning the two piece swimsuit.
Yes, it was odd that it fit.
But he is a skinny white boy just like his father.
You will have to use your imagination as to what this sight for sore eyes looked like.
Because I only emailed the pictures to immediate family.
I wish I had an audiotape of the uproar at my sister’s house when they gathered round my niece’s computer to see pictures of our pumpkin.
I bet Scary Baby will remember to get him a new present next year!
In other Grunter holiday news…
He bought the family a new game. And insisted we all play it on Christmas Eve. Everyone has played it several times and it is no small miracle to have a game that the adults, semi-adults and the 10 year old can play together.
Plus we added another game to our cabinet because my sister and mother said it was a “fun for all ages” game they all played on Christmas afternoon.
We had plenty of extra people in and out visiting and most all who came had to play. Really, you probably shouldn’t come to our house if you don’t like to play games with super loud, competitive people.
Then to end 2009 with a bang, we had another family and about 10 of the kids friends over for an impromptu New Year’s Eve party. Scary Baby and I braved the crowds at Walmart and Target to gather food and blowers while PhilBillPaul cleaned up the house.
A little Euchre, more Quelf and Apples to Apples plus the kids set up Rock Band and some other video games in the basement.
Other Miscellaneous Highlights…
Read two books, watched a ton of football and saw two movies. The movies were swamped with the new releases so we didn’t break our record from last year. We both enjoyed “Up in the Air” and “It’s Complicated”. I give them both Bs.
The girls also went ice skating and roller skating (twice).
Roger Leroy squeezed in a 7 hour defensive driving class on December 30th compliments of her speeding ticket up at college.
All of this and the kids all worked 25+ hours each at their jobs.
Impressive time management skills. Actually, youthful energy is probably more accurate.
How did you spend the holidays? Glad they’re over or wished they lasted longer? Are you back in a normal routine?
Does NO ONE have any hog jowl recipes???
Check back on Friday for our Humpfreeze Holiday FOOD highlights…
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Tuesday, December 29, 2009, by Sherra
You may or may not remember the last Georgia blizzard we had.
Winter in the South is a different kind of animal.
This is what happens when you grow up in the cold, cold Midwest but you birth babies in the South.
You take them to downtown Atlanta to beautiful Centennial Park for a little after Christmas ice skating.
They start whining like babies as soon as you start walking to the park.
Shivering and fussing.
Then, they see a line wrapping around the rink and they stop dead in their tracks and say “Okay, that was fun. Now let’s go home.”
Side note: The only person who didn’t whine and fuss was their friend Jordan who joined us.
Next, you try to calmly explain to your 10 year-old that her big sisters AND her father are total cold weather WEENIES and would she like to go roller skating later in the week even though she really, really wanted to try ice skating for the first time in her life.
And you snap a picture of her after she looks at the ice rink.
But you insist that everyone is going to walk through the park and enjoy the lights and walk to that giant Christmas tree that must be 1 or 2 city blocks away.
You force photographs while the 18 year-old Soldier girl WEENIES complain and try to make their teeth chatter from the bone chilling 40 degree weather.
Finally you get back in the car and head to Zesto for chili dogs and…
ICE CREAM.
The Next Day
Dad has weenie guilt and asks the darling twin who is always most agreeable (thank you Wizzy) to take her baby sister ice skating at an indoor rink just a short drive from our house.
She, along with her darling twin and four college friends, take Scary Baby ice skating in the indoor “much warmer” rink.
Ahhh, precious holiday memories.
Hope you all had a very Merry Christmas and you are enjoying time with family and friends!
I’m taking a little blog break and will be back next week with more fun and frolic for 2010.
Thanks to each and everyone of you who leaves a comment or sends me an email. It’s what makes blogging fun.
Be safe and have fun as you ring in the New Year!!
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Monday, December 21, 2009, by Sherra
It was in full swing last week. Our annual baking frenzy where we make teacher gifts and various other goodies so we can contribute in our small way to the annual sugar consumption in America.
First we needed to edit Scary Baby’s list of gift giving. 27 teachers, administrators and school staff was a bit excessive since we never gave that many when the 3 big kids were in school. The kid has a heart for giving which is lovely. But hello…not happening.
This year I started with 4 batches of Cajun Chex Mix.
Followed by holiday bark inspired by Leigh Anne who featured this lemon bark. I know it is a popular holiday treat but I’ve never made it. We have so many other favorites that I never get around to this easy goodie. I made also made a two-layer peppermint which was so good!
PhilBillPaul is in charge of pretzels, fudge and sugared pee-cans.
Scary Baby helped design cute little bag toppers for 25 pretzel bags for the holiday party. That’s 25 bags before we even started on the teacher gifts.
They really didn’t say from “Scary B” on the tags.
The next day “we” got busy with the teacher and staff gifts. We got it down to a more reasonable 13 bags as opposed to her original list of 27.
Her teacher and 2 principals + school nurse got the “big” bags. Everyone else got chex mix and fudge. Remind me to tell you why the school nurse totally qualified for the mother lode…on another day.
More cute little tags with Scary Baby’s input on colors and fonts.
Mini loaves of poppy seed bread are always a big hit. It was all about easy stuff this year.
Then I broke out the sewing machine and whipped up these cute felt gift bags. Okay, that is a BIG lie. I don’t even own a sewing machine.
Scary Baby was so excited when she saw the Tar-jay wiener dog gift bag she earmarked especially for her teacher. I was excited it was one dollar.
I used to be more organized and start earlier and freeze in batches. Apparently I’m getting old and forgetful. Is Christmas on the 25th this year?
For the first time in 15 years, I did not make cookies for the teacher gift bags.
I was actually fine with that. She is at a new school and I didn’t really have any reputation to adhere to from past gift giving. It was kind of a relief. And that mini loaf of poppy seed bread takes up a good amount of room.
But we cannot have Christmas at our house without cookies.
So Saturday night I got busy and started mixing up cookie dough.
I had asked each family member what was their one favorite cookie they needed me to make.
Scary Baby – Lemon Drops
Wizzy – Chocolate Mint Cookies
Roger Leroy – Fudgie Bon Bons
The Grunter – Illinois Soft Sugar Cookies
PhilBillPaul – Berry Shortbread Dreams
I always try to add at least one new recipe each year so I finally got around to making these Chocolate Turtle Cookies that I had intentions of making last year. Roger Leroy gave them a nine and says they are keepers.
This is what I did all day Sunday. The oven was on for about 8 hours.
Just so you know, we don’t eat all the cookies ourselves. We make several platters to take to friends.
Side note: Scary Baby picked the green icing color. Also suitable for shamrock cookies at St. Patrick’s Day.
And we mail a few boxes to family and friends.
Anyone else going to the post office today? I’m scared to see how long the line is.
What are your most favorite holiday treats you must have at this time of year? Share the recipe too!
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Tuesday, December 15, 2009, by Sherra
Special note: Our iLashGirls site was hacked yesterday so we had to rebuild a few things from a backup so this post disappeared for a while. If you left a comment and you don’t see it now, please leave another one! Hacking websites…add that to the list of stupid hobbies of people with too much free time.
This is how pizza ordering at the Humpfreeze house goes when all SIX Humpfreeze family members are home.
Side note: Small miracle in itself. All of us being together in the house on a SATURDAY NIGHT. Not just passing each other as someone walks out the door. Or passing each other in the driveway.
Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.
I’d like to tell you that this picture is of the hot, delicious pizza we get here in the South but that would be a lie. Pizza like that is rarely found here but this picture made me think of how much I miss the perfection of Illinois pizza…Chicago style or otherwise. My family lives near the Wisconsin border and it is that awesome Wisconsin cheese that I long for and have every time I go back to visit!
Now let’s get back to ordering pizza for dinner at our house…
I conducted this serious, formal interview with each family member to show you why I am crazy.
Dream Pizza
The Grunter
Crust: Thin
Toppings: Pepperoni
Sauce: Yes
Roger Leroy
Crust: Stuffed crust
Toppings: Extra cheese, 1/2 pepperoni
Sauce: Light
Wizzy
Crust: Regular
Toppings: 3 cheese preferably mozzarella, parmesan, ricotta
Sauce: Alfredo
Scary Baby
Crust: Stuffed crust or nothing
Toppings: Cheese and more cheese
Sauce: Barely
PhilBillPaul
Crust: Thin
Toppings: Pepperoni and sausage
Sauce: Extra
Sherra
Crust: Thin
Toppings: Light sausage, mushrooms and extra cheese
Sauce: Light
Saturday night pizza = Quality family time.
We can’t even agree on THE CRUST.
Would someone create a chart so I can order a freakin’ pizza please?
What’s your favorite dream pizza? I mean the non-compromising kind where you don’t have to share or accommodate other people’s tastes?
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Monday, December 7, 2009, by Sherra
Oh I wish I could be more like my friend Leigh Anne.
Okay, not really but I do truly admire the special people who transform their house into a magical holiday home with festive decorations by the box full. (But seriously, 25 boxes?)
This weekend was a little different for us than past years. First, we usually decorate our house on Thanksgiving weekend but since PhilBillPaul and Scary Baby were in Texas, we waited.
Second, we were minus 3 kids so the 10 year-old darling daughter had the honor of unboxing all our decorations that PhilBillPaul brought down from the attic after they brought home a Christmas tree she picked out.
I really wish I had taken pictures of the 3 red and green plastic bins filled with all our holiday treasures. Because I can’t do justice to what we found inside with mere words.
The surprises we found are a direct result of the fact that we have put the *big* kids in charge of decorating for the past several years.
I will be the first to point a finger at Roger Leroy because she has always been the most eager to get everything out and decorate the tree, the house, lights on the porch and in her room, etc.
She keeps it well-hidden but she’s a super festive kid.
But we all know that decorating is WAY more fun than UN-decorating.
She had put things away in a most unorganized fashion. Like items were not together. Tangled lights and broken ornaments. There were some tears as Scary Baby unwrapped special ornaments stuck to melted candles.
Side note to my mother: “Yes Mom, you are absolutely right. It would be way, way easier to do it myself…but then I would miss all the glory of a teachable moment…and have nothing to blog about.”
And I really let them do it because I am always looking for opportunities to relinquish some of my control-freak tendencies and be more “fun.”
Picture a warm, fuzzy Hallmark or Taster’s Choice holiday commercial.
Minus the warm, fuzzy part.
Yeah, that’s our house.
Anyway, we cleaned out the boxes, salvaged the ornaments and threw away the melted candles.
I turned on my iPod holiday music playlist.
And then we let Scary Baby trim the tree all by herself.
She did an excellent job and I’m sure the big kids will enjoy the fruits of her labor and lavish praise upon her.
In the midst of all our fun, I did make little treat bags for the college kids who stopped by and are back at school taking their last final exams this week. I made Leigh Anne’s Reindeer Cookie Bark. (As always, cute pictures and detailed instructions are on her blog.)
Since Christmas is no time to cut out sugar, PhilBillPaul even whipped up two batches of Buttermilk Fudge for us to test. The recipe is a keeper with or without pecans. YUM!
Is your house all decorated for the holidays? How many boxes of decorations do you have? Not being nosey, just interested…
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Monday, November 30, 2009, by Sherra
Every time the darling twins come home, we have the same conversation.
A tornado hits their room when they arrive.
They insist that it was that way before they arrived.
We argue.
It was no different during their Thanksgiving break.
I know have written about this subject once or twice.
I really did appreciate Paula’s advice in the comments that they will eventually be proud of their personal space. Ahem…it just won’t be their space in my house, I guess.
I have photographic evidence that I thought I would keep private. But then again I’ve been known to change my mind.
Years ago I let go of trying to make them clean their rooms. I’ve read that many experts recommend that this a battle you should “choose to lose.” You know, let them have their space, give them some freedom…that’s what doors are for…blah, blah, blah.
I have done this to the best of my ability. I’m sure my kids would disagree.
Whatever.
It’s still MY house.
I took to the semi-annual mode of cleaning. I stayed out of their rooms for about 4-6 months. Frankly, I think that’s personal growth for me.
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.
–Phyllis Diller
Then I would have to enter the danger zone for some reason and we would have massive meltdowns (them and me) and marathon cleaning day. Some day, I’ll share pictures of that family bonding time. Because, of course, I took pictures.
When the darling twins left for Basic Training this past summer, PhilBillPaul and I went in the danger zone and did a major clean up. We stripped the beds, cleaned up drawers, wiped surfaces, swept, mopped, vacuumed, etc.
I was thinking that maybe, just maybe, after a summer in the military that they would come back with some personal pride in their living quarters. That they would love their big, bright, colorful room after spending the summer on a hard bunk surrounded by drab army green.
I’ve pretty much given up on that now.
Full Disclaimer: All four kids are piglets. I have plenty of pictures of The Grunter’s pigsty.
I’m pleased to announce I’ve exceeded my personal growth goal and I have now have proof thanks to these photos by PhilBillPaul plus this text conversation with Wizzy which did not send me to the Xanax bottle.
Wizzy: Can you have dad look n see if meadows left her cover somewhere? (cover=military lingo for hat)
Me: Dad’s debit card was in ur room. We have meadows cover. Still no Vicks…where is it?
W: Oh crap sorry. Okay good. It was on the little table
Me: And he found a kitchen bowl of delicious popcorn with rat poop in it.
W: Hahahaha shut up
Me: It’s not on the little table. But he has found a wet towel
W: idk then
Me: Oh he just found the vicks under the bed. The rat must have been playing with it.
W: lol real mature
Me: The rat doesn’t really look mature. Seems kind of young & playful what with the vicks & all
Me: No one is allowed back here until room is clean BY BOTH OF U. Out of dad’s mouth…”u r not going to use our house as a dirty way station.”
W: I didn’t. Whatever
Me: nice try rachel wasn’t even here!
W: Okay
W: Its not even messy dads having a bad night n overreacting*
Me: He’s snapping pics now & he seems fine to me. I’m not looking becuz if he says it’s a wreck…holy cow.
W: Whatever
Me: Love u dd (dd = darling daughter)
Me: I appreciate the blog material
W: Not funny. Im not amused
Me: Love love love & miss u dd
W: Yeah i can tell
Me: I do dd & I think you are being mean to me
W: I think you are being mean to me
Me: sniffle
W: Thats what ive been doing all night. Im having a rough day
Me: Me too…sorry dd ;(
*Here are the photos of dad and his overreacting because “it’s not even messy.”
I just laughed and said…
Whatever.
Still open to any suggestions about how to *make* 18 and 20 year-olds clean up their personal space. Anyone? Anyone?
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