Not.

But if I had 523 fans or friends or whatever they call them, I could have sent you updates on my life all through Memorial Day weekend while PhilBillPaul was visiting the darling twins in Arizona.

Instead I have this blog and 5 relatives and 12 friends reading so I thought I could give you the recap in the form of my own Facebook Blog Wall…

Disclaimer: I know this is late. I was busy breaking my blog last week and am still fixing some things. Might be the longest post ever. Hang with me – it’s super easy reading!

My DIY Wall Status Updates

SherraLifeLesson Just dropped off PhilBillPaul at Atlanta airport to fly to Arizona to see his darling daughters as we find out his brother is being admitted to hospital for dehydration and some medical tests in Texas.
May 27 at 4:00pm

SherraLifeLesson A stressed PhilBillPaul forwards a text to me from Wizzy as he makes his connecting flight in Dallas because he doesn’t have time to call her sitting on plane. Text says “We are coming to tucson. Call me when ur are in phoenix
May 27 at 9:00pm

SherraLifeLesson Great text Wizzy but he’s not flying to Phoenix. And her great new plan to meet her dad in Tucson instead of Sierra Vista is not all that great. Gee, that’s only eleven minutes after the cancellation policy of the room their travel agent (me) booked for them in Sierra Vista.
May 27 at 9:11pm

SherraLifeLesson Roger Leroy announces in the background that if I can’t find them another hotel, she’s not staying at the Motel Six because people have told her that they have rats. This is unconfirmed but I wouldn’t stay in a Motel Six. Ever. Yes, I’m a hotel snob.
May 27 at 9:11pm

SherraLifeLesson Motel Six was suggested by Wizzy and approved by PhilBillPaul because he and Granny only needed a place to sleep for a few hours before they pick up the darling twins at 6:00 am. A kind front desk clerk at the posh Motel Six took pity on me and canceled the room without charging us.
May 27 at 11:11pm

SherraLifeLesson Our two wiener dogs were neutered the week before. They are now coughing and choking in their crates and start puking. Have I mentioned I don’t do puke? Especially dog puke.
May 27 at 11:32pm

SherraLifeLesson The Grunter comes down to handle the puke. Remember he takes care of poo at the movie theater so he’s way more qualified than I am.
May 27 at 11:47pm

SherraLifeLesson 3 hours on the phone and online with hotels in Tucson trying to find a room. Glad I didn’t have anything else to do.
May 28 at 12:39am

SherraLifeLesson I start researching kennel cough on the internet. I really can’t handle the dogs dying while PhilBillPaul is with the darling twins. They will all blame me forever.
May 28 at 12:45am

SherraLifeLesson Granny calls after she arrives in Tucson to find out what plans have changed since she had 4 frantic phone messages from PhilBillPaul that didn’t make sense and she couldn’t call him since he was in the air flying from Dallas to Tucson.
May 28 at 1:00am

SherraLifeLesson I tell Granny about the choking, coughing, puking dogs and my guess that they contracted kennel cough and she shares that they once got a puppy from a shelter and it had kennel cough. They had to put it down and the shelter had to euthanize all the dogs. Holy cow, the dogs are going to die under my watch…
May 28 at 1:30am

SherraLifeLesson The Grunter comes down to help me serve the dogs a delicious homeopathic kennel cough treatment I’ve mixed up. 8 oz water with tsp of raw honey, splash of lemon juice and 3 eyedroppers of 3% hydrogen peroxide.
May 28 at 2:05am

SherraLifeLesson Relieved to find that kennel cough by itself is not life threatening.
May 28 at 2:15am

SherraLifeLesson Hmmmm, I’m tired.
May 28 at 8:50am

SherraLifeLesson I didn’t have an eyedropper. I looked for a conversion for 3 eyedroppers of hydrogen peroxide and found it to be .03 tsp. I share with The Grunter that I put in a 1/4 tsp. We both realize I have probably poisoned the wiener dogs so if the kennel cough doesn’t kill them, my bad math skills will.
May 28 at 9:30am

SherraLifeLesson I call the vet and explain the dogs’ symptoms. I feel better that we should just watch them and can bring them in on Saturday if they aren’t improving. I didn’t mention the hydrogen peroxide overdose.
May 28 at 10:30am

SherraLifeLesson I hear from the Arizona crew. They are all safely together in Tucson and cannot start their drive to the Grand Canyon until they go back to the airport because they LOST PhilBillPaul’s luggage.
May 28 at 11:00am

SherraLifeLesson Need to focus on a client website design. Scary Baby is being very patient and has decided to re-read the Harry Potter series in her closest while I work.
May 28 at 1:12pm

SherraLifeLesson Third dose of honey/lemon/hydrogen peroxide for the wiener dogs. They seem to be getting better. Future tip: Sticky water is better served on porch than kitchen floor.
May 28 at 7:11pm

SherraLifeLesson The Grunter comes home from work and talks about some relationship stress that has been unfolding in the past week.
May 29 at 11:38pm

SherraLifeLesson The Grunter is standing in my bedroom in all his late night chattiness and as the fierce, coughing wiener dogs go ballistic barking, he says “Did you hear that? It sounds like someone is tapping on a window on the porch.”
May 30 at 1:10am

SherraLifeLesson A broad daylight break-in in our neighborhood 4 days earlier causes me to dial 911 without hesitation.
May 30 1:30am

SherraLifeLesson 911 operator wants me to look out window and see if I see anything. Isn’t this how people get shot?
May 30at 1:32am

SherraLifeLesson Police arrive within 15 minutes. He says he’ll go in backyard and check our property but does ask if there are dogs back there. I assure him that the barking wiener dogs are impersonating dobermans in their crates and actually weigh about 15 pounds each.
May 30 at 1:45am

SherraLifeLesson Police officer returns to say windows and doors are secure but asks “Do you know you have broken glass in the driveway?”
May 30 at 1:55am

SherraLifeLesson After inspecting the mess of broken glass, The Grunter and I refrain from saying, “Why yes, we break glass in our driveway every night at 1:30 am.”
May 30 at 2:10am

SherraLifeLesson Now that we’ve swept up the broken glass, can I please, please, please get a few hours sleep?
May 30 at 2:30am

SherraLifeLesson Scary Baby & I went to early dinner and shopping as reward for her patience and help with dogs in this crazy weekend. Do people have to sit on the same side of the booth and make out during a meal? Icky.
March 31 at 4:35pm

SherraLifeLesson Text from PhilBillPaul…”Tucson flight delayed due to mechanical problems. Mom is now in gate reassuring everyone by screaming we need a new plane! ”
June 1 at 1:18pm

SherraLifeLesson Text from PhilBillPaul…”Jk about mom screaming ”
June 1 at 1:19pm

SherraLifeLesson Text from PhilBillPaul…”Flight cancelled. Rebooked thru AA connection chicago tomorrow arrive at 11:55 pm”
June 1 at 1:18pm

SherraLifeLesson Gosh that’s a convenient time to arrive.
June 1 at 1:25pm

SherraLifeLesson Text from PhilBillPaul…”Flight change again. Better time. Arrive at 4:12 pm. Going to hotel, thanks for good idea of asking for hotel voucher.”
June 1 at 2:30pm

SherraLifeLesson Migraine fun. Wonder why? Took meds at 2:00 am and 4:30 am. Feeling fabulous. Not.
June 2 at 8:51am

I know after reading this riveting detailed account of my Memorial Day that you will be waiting with bated breath to read part two of my DIY Facebook/Blog Wall that I’ll share later this week.

Because I only thought Memorial Day weekend was less than stellar until I lived through last week.

“Eight little friends just stripped Bruno’s car.”

Other Random Observations

In my personal notes from Monday night I had typed I really never want to see Jake in his underwear again.

And oh goodness – we were subjected to it AGAIN.

The giant bandages on his knees were an added bonus.

Triple icky.

Chad and Cheryl got a totally weird song. So did not match their style or personality. Not fair.

I think Chad might want to tone down all the awkward innuendo. Don’t know or care if they are really an item. He seems to really be stressing her.

DG hung on. My sister will be glad to watch her for another week.

My three favs remain the same!

Photos from ABC

Nicole & Derek
I think she gets a bonus with his amazing choreography skills.

Evan & Anna
Looks like Edyta loaned Anna her costume. Icky

While I love his grace and elegance, is it just me or did it look like Evan was wearing a toupee? I did not dig the Little Lord Fauntleroy haircut.

Erin & Maks
I think I’ve made it clear about how I feel about watching them him.

A Fabulous Ending

I think this quote from Tony during their rehearsal summed up why she needed to leave.

“Kate has no motivation and I have to push her each week and it gets exhausting.”

Tony was lovely and gracious while she gathered herself because she’s a self-proclaimed “cry baby”.

I’m trying to push out a tear. But I can’t. Because she brought her entire situation on herself. Good press. Bad press. And everything in between. I’m glad she’s finally off. Now let’s get on with the dancing!

Standard Disclaimer: These are just my personal opinions and I’m sure I’d be friends in real life with each and every “star”, “was a star” and/or “never was a star”. Or not.

Especially after the “Senior Moment” that I experienced in March of this year.

Kroger(s) Encounter, Part Two

A few days after I posted about my Kroger encounter, PhilBillPaul and I were in the store that I haven’t yet boycotted all together.

I stopped in my tracks when I saw my cashier “friend.”

I do refuse to go through her line.

You know, she’s the one who asked me…

“Are you a senior?”

And, NO, she was not on auto pilot using her awesome Kroger customer service training skills as blog reader Karen nicely suggested. She looked me right in the eye and asked me that after I declined the dollar donation.

Score: 1 for Maxine Cashier Insult
Score: 0 for meeting donation quota that day

Anyway…

I had mentioned in the post that I should go back and snap a picture of her so you could see her uncanny resemblance to Maxine.

I’m nothing, if not a woman of my word.

Thank you for this blog therapy session. I’m going to go watch Maks on Tivo.

I feel better already.

P.S. It is now time for my darling, sweet blogger friend Leigh Anne to comment about her senior moment(s) so we can all feel better. Jump in Mrs. Wilkes.

• 1) Watching The Masters–that’s a golf tournament held in Augusta, Georgia for all you non-golfers–that I have watched for many, many years long before golf became somewhat socially cool or there was anyone named Tiger on the tour.
• 2) Trying to control myself and not actually publish a blog post over the weekend
• 3) Yelling at the TV every time the announcers fell all over themselves about Tiger and his “time off.”

Side note: I actually had to text my golf friend Toni and call my mom to say that I’ve never cheered so loudly for someone to lose. Yes, I’m admitting it here and yes, the sermon at church was about forgiveness.

So please forgive me.

I swear I was really trying to exhibit better self-control and not blog about this again. Mostly because he doesn’t deserve ANY. MORE. PRESS.

And we all know the giant readership here on my blog could affect his career.

Then I remembered it’s my personal blog and I can blog about whatever I want. As I like to say to blog clients when I’m getting them started–remember to chant this to yourself whenever you need to…

My Blog. My Rules.

Before I go off on my Tiger rant, I want to acknowledge the REAL story at The Masters this year.

The real story of a golfer who took time off is the story of Phil Mickelson. He’s a golfer who spent some time away from the game to be by his wife’s side when she was diagnosed with breast cancer last year. Seems to have his priorities in place. I can’t imagine their struggles thus far and his mother was diagnosed a short time after his wife was.

Go Phil Go! Such a fabulous victory on every level. It was our honor to watch you win!

I wish I could say that they highlighted his amazing game and his personal story at every opportunity during the tournament.

Instead, we had to hear about Tiger’s amazing game after his 5 month hiatus. Or whatever we’re calling it these days. We had to witness every moment of his fake smile as he engaged with the fans for the first time in years. I’m pretty sure he had an invisible earpiece in with his P.R. team telling him things like…

“Show some teeth as you walk to the green. Smile for the gallery.”

“Offer to sign their hat or pat a little kid on the head.”

Frankly, I didn’t buy any of it. He was gritting his teeth. It was all a big act. The calm *new* Tiger who has embraced Buddhism and is working on controlling his temper was nowhere to be found when he hit a bad shot on Saturday and yelled “SUCK” and uttered a profanity loudly.

He entered The Masters with his well-oiled P.R. team making sure he was in a gilded cage and protected environment where he calls the shots – golf and otherwise. The only thing authentic about him is still his colossal arrogance.

Now here’s my favorite part of the weekend coverage!

Billy Payne called him out on it.

And then I read a bunch of criticism of Billy Payne and why he shouldn’t have said anything. Especially at the beginning of The Masters.

WHAT?

How do we get to the place where we’re all okay with acting like we don’t have all the sordid details about his total lack of discretion over and over again.

Who said we had to handle him with kid gloves? Why are we avoiding the elephant in the room and walking around on eggshells after his disgusting behavior?

Virtual High Five to Billy Payne

Instead of criticizing Billy Payne, why don’t we celebrate that he was brave enough to call him out in a very professional manner and he was dead on with his comments.

Furthermore, I read at least five articles that made it sound like this was the only thing Payne said.

A few minutes research shows how wrong that is. His opening remarks contained 1874 words and only 284 of those words were directed at Tiger.

Oh, but they were 284 lovely, respectful, truthful words.

Sentences in bold are my personal favorites.

“Finally, we are not unaware of the significance of this week to a very special player, Tiger Woods. A man who in a brief 13 years clearly and emphatically proclaimed and proved his game to be worthy of the likes of Bobby Jones, Jack Nicklaus and Arnold Palmer. As he ascended in our rankings of the world’s great golfers, he became an example to our kids that success is directly attributable to hard work and effort.

But as he now says himself, he forgot in the process to remember that with fame and fortune comes responsibility, not invisibility. It is not simply the degree of his conduct that is so egregious here; it is the fact that he disappointed all of us, and more importantly, our kids and our grand kids. Our hero did not live up to the expectations of the role model we saw for our children.

Is there a way forward? I hope yes. I think yes. But certainly his future will never again be measured only by his performance against par; but measured by the sincerity of his efforts to change. I hope he now realizes that every kid he passes on the course wants his swing, but would settle for his smile. I hope he can come to understand that life’s greatest rewards are reserved for those who bring joy to the lives of other people. We at Augusta hope and pray that our great champion will begin his new life here tomorrow in a positive, hopeful and constructive manner, but this time, with a significant difference from the past. This year, it will not be just for him, but for all of us, who believe in second chances. ”

You can read the full transcript here.

Good Guys Can Finish First

And once again, let me say CONGRATULATIONS to Phil Mickelson.

It’s always nice to see the better man win!

Now, I’m going to practice restraint and not write a ranting blog post about Jesse James.

If you are an email subscriber, come visit the blog after 1:00 p.m. EST for a quick laugh.

PhilBillPaul, his mother and my mother found this whole story way too amusing. I’m calling for a little more empathy from my loyal blog readers after you get to the end.

First, let me preface this story with a little background about being a cashier as a part-time job or as a career choice. We have a lot of cashier history in our family. My mom was a cashier back in her youth. Cashier was my first job in high school and the darling twins are cashiers at that other grocery store which I’m not blogging about today but is known for its stellar customer service.

The first thing we learned in cashier training was “The customer is always right.” Never were we allowed to argue, roll our eyes or have an attitude with a customer. (Or chew gum which is a personal pet peeve of mine when I see a store clerk chomping.)

My mom and I had major cashier job stress. It was back in the day where you actually had to punch numbers on the cash register, know department numbers, prices AND even use old-fashioned addition and subtraction to handle money and count back change.

Nowadays if the scanner or the touchscreen isn’t working, the average cashier cannot do his/her job and management seems panic-stricken.

Which reminds me of another story you must remind me to tell you about McDonald’s and how you can shut the whole place down with one tiny request.

Sorry for that wandering mind distraction. Back to the subject at hand.

Krogers

Side note: That “s” is for a certain friend. She knows who she is.

I need for you to have a picture of the cashier who checked me out in your mind. I really need to go back to the store and snap her picture. It’s one of those “Separated at Birth” things…

She looks eerily like Maxine, the crabby Hallmark character. Minus the biting sense of humor.

I actually love Maxine.

The Kroger cashier. Not so much.

Kroger has some standard greetings and questions asking the customer:

“How are you today?”

“Are you a Kroger Plus customer?”

Ending the checkout process with:

“Would you like to donate a dollar to ____________ (insert current Kroger charity)?”

To which I almost always reply “No thank you” with a smile.

Because I will freely admit here and now that I prefer to choose my charitable giving without any cashier pressure. Yes, even when it’s only a dollar.

I’ve never felt any wrath from this.

Until now.

When the not sweet Maxine-like cashier looked back up at me and said…

“Are you a senior?”

Which changes my relationship with Kroger on so many levels.

I’ll proudly ask for my senior discount when I’m eligible but until then, I think Kroger needs to re-visit their cashier training program.

Only after I shared this story did PhilBillPaul share that the day before he went through a local drive-thru for lunch and upon handing his debit card with photo on it that the cashier declared…

“Wow, that’s an old picture.”

Ouch.

Customer Service 101 – let’s get back to the basics folks. I think that begins with not biting the hand that feeds you. Insulting your customers is bad for business.

Especially the old, grouchy ones.

We have to watch her for another a week?

Kate Gosselin must go. I think I hear eight kids crying for their mom to stop flying to California and stay home for more than one night.

The Tony “quitting” scene seemed vaguely familiar. It looked like clips I’d seen of her on her canceled show. I think she has a pattern of witchy behavior with men that doesn’t seem to be working.

Side note: Don’t flame me for that – I think her ex-husband is in a tie with her for most obnoxious people who shouldn’t be on TV and should get ZERO press coverage.

The stress and tension on her face was painful to watch both during the dance and during the elimination night. Watching the actual dance was even more painful.

She said and I’m paraphrasing here…

“Sure I forgot some steps but at least I didn’t fall down.”

Whatever.

My personal favs of week two:

Evan Lysacek & Nicole Scherzinger

I have to add Niecy Nash to my favorite list this week. Her spunk and humor is infectious.

In the easy to look at category is Aiden Turner. Don’t even know if he can dance.

Maks continues to be my favorite pro to watch. And I promise it’s not because he keeps unbuttoning his shirt to his navel. There are many other reasons. I’ll try to remember them next week when I watch.

Next week, let’s please say goodbye to Kate. I’m willing to endure watching that other ICKY blonde for another week if Kate will go home.

Wouldn’t it be fun to be able to call and vote for who we want to NOT dance the next week? My mom and I have discussed this for several seasons and we think we would call in for sure if we could vote someone off–at least until the final three. Yeah, we are like that.

Who is your favorite? Do you actually call in and vote? Would you call in and vote if you could vote someone off the show?

Disclaimer: These are just my personal opinions and I’m sure I’d be friends in real life with each and every “star”, “was a star” and/or “never was a star”. Or not.

I’d go with a 3 hour minimum.

Seems like the right amount of time and distance so the quick, impromptu, surprise visits happen rarely, if ever! A little bit of planning goes a long way. Wait, I’m getting off track. That’s a post for another day.

The topic today is WHY they should live in a dorm and not commute from home.

The list is long but since it’s Friday I’m keeping it simple.

This is the primary WHY…

So you don’t have to know that your 20 year-old is working on a project at 2:00 a.m. on the kitchen floor because his time management skills are less than stellar.

PhilBillPaul took up for him and asked me, “Didn’t you ever stay up all night and cram for an exam? This is the same thing.”

Why, yes, as a matter of fact I did stay up all night and do that.

But my mother was nestled in her bed 3 hours away and did not get involved or scream at me for losing her glue gun, not being prepared and/or worry that I was going to lose my scholarship if I didn’t get a good grade.

Side note: I didn’t have a scholarship. Illinois did not pay students to maintain a “B” average. Thank you Georgia state lottery funding, i.e. Hope Scholarship.

My mother did send cookies and write notes that were pretty much always the same except for the type of cookie in the box…

Sherra,
Here are some snickerdoodles. I hope you are getting some rest.

Love,
Mother

I should have scanned one. I have them all.

Thanks Mom.

And Mom…

I’m still trying to get some rest but your pumpkin is keeping me up late.

“Which person do you want to bring home to your parents and will fit in with your family, friends, lifestyle and personal values?”

Vienna Sausage is that GIRL?!!

Seriously?!!

Fit in with your family?

Fit in with your friends?

Fit in with lifestyle?

Fit in with your personal values?

That would be no, no, no and no according to everything we saw and what he revealed about himself.

And especially after we saw his whole family.

Jake the Rebel

He decided to play the role of “bad boy” and pick the “dirty girl”.

Wrong on so many levels but I’m sure I’ll tune into their wedding next year.

That will probably be after I enter a 12-step recovery program to break this addiction after fast forwarding through those 3 hours last night.

And if I didn’t get enough of Jake during this lame, lame season…

ABC has the audacity to have him as one of the contestants on Dancing With The Stars.

Or as I like to call it “Dancing With The Stars Who Are Sometimes Not Stars or Have Never Been Stars.”

Which will now live up to its title by including Kate Gosselin and Jake. Why didn’t they round it out with the Octomom for an even dozen contestants?

I can totally picture Jake and Pamela Anderson hitting it off. It’s a shame they can’t be partners.

The only word I can think of to describe the whole thing right now…

Icky.

P.S. For a play-by-play of the whole excruciating finale without having to watch it – don’t miss i hate green beans very funny recap of the whole thing.

Don’t panic, I won’t be regularly reviewing the behavior of professional athletes. I just couldn’t let this one go because I’m such a huge golf fan.

Photo courtesy of powerbooktrance

How do I apply to be part of Tiger Woods Damage Control Crisis Management Team?

First, let me address the positive points. Okay, make that point.

The only thing I did agree with – that the media should not chase Tiger’s children or wife because of his grave mistakes.

Here are a few suggestions if I were on Team Tiger’s P.R. staff:

•Hire people who will tell you the truth.

Typically, these would be old, married women/mothers (like me) who are not speechless in the presence of your self-perceived greatness.

Having “yes” people falling all over you is that last thing you need right now.

•Speak from your heart, don’t read from cards.

Use a bullet point list with keywords to trigger your memory.

Come on, are you telling me you can’t memorize your heartfelt apology but you can memorize every golf course, every shot you’ve ever taken?

Seems like it would be a perfect time for you to use that steely determination and ice cold competitive edge to stand up and take your punishment.

Lose the script ~ no one wants to hear a highly scripted apology. You actually had to look down at your notes to remember the 2nd descriptive adjective your team had written about Elin.

•Work on your level of sincerity.

You’ve been arrogant for so long it’s time for some real sincerity and that takes a lot more change and practice. I just didn’t feel it.

Is there a rehab for celebrity arrogance?

Tiger’s Special Rules

You said you thought your success and life of privilege led you to think you could live by a different set of rules.

Your well-orchestrated apology with all your special rules like banning most of the media and handpicking your audience shows that you still think you have a separate set of rules.

We all know that the media wouldn’t be banned if you were making some big golf announcement.

You have impacted the lives and livelihood of others with your poor choices and your giant ego.

You have tarnished the game of golf — one of the last of the sports that we can still refer to as a “gentleman’s game.”

Newsflash

Yes, you are held to a higher standard than the rest of us.

Because that’s what happens when you choose to become a sports star, sign million dollar endorsement deals trying to influence our buying decisions and become a billionaire.

Believe it or not, there are more important things than the public hearing about your marital problems. But as voyeurs into the life of the rich and famous, it comes with your job. You chose this life and you chose the behavior.

You can’t keep it all private when you left a trail of evidence for the world to see and hear. Your lack of discretion has created a sad and nasty peek into your life that frankly, none of us ever wanted to know about.

Own it.

Stop trying to control everything.

Start being human.

“I hate it when they are home. I hate it when they leave.”

Their leaving last week caused a wee bit of stress.

Understatement of the year.

Stress that only parents can understand. And even then, some of you don’t know what I’m talking about. Maybe because your darlings haven’t left yet.

The darling twins are now gone for five months. I’m equating this departure to a semester abroad. Except they are in Arizona. So I guess it’s a semester out west.

They will thrive and shine. They will be fine. Because we have prepared them for life in ways I’ve seen many of their peers are not prepared. For that, we are grateful.

We know they are equipped with life skills and life lessons. Even though they choose not to use those skills here at our house.

Roger Leroy sent me this text tonight just as I was about to write this…

“You not sharing any life lessons lately is bothering me.”

Funny kid.

I don’t like the blog pressure. Funny thing about the blog is that when I don’t write, people worry.

Sweet, kind people who wonder if something is wrong.

A few emails. A few phone messages.

As if my silence might indicated that my feet have been dangling dangerously close to the edge of The Black Hole.

Or that I may have set a personal record and taken xan*x three days in a row.

Side note: I’m not spelling the drug name out any more as it seems to attract spammers offering me all kinds of interesting pharmaceuticals.

I’m fine, fine, fine. I promise.

I’ve just been really busy doing some blog design work in between recovering from the holidays and spending quality time with the family.

I do miss them when they aren’t here. I really do.

Since this blog is really my online family photo album and my personal therapy, I’ll share this tiny glimpse of what I don’t and won’t miss…

Photos compliments of Scary Baby because I couldn’t bear to look again.

Oh yes, that is my precious little blue bug (that Wizzy is in the process of buying) and that is where a passenger is suppose to put their feet.

Why yes, that is chocolate milk and orange juice. And marinara sauce on the floor mat, I think. For the record, in an attempt to make me feel better, Wizzy did say it was OPT…Other People’s Trash.

Yes, as a matter of fact, I did cry. And scream. A lot.

Another proud week at the Humpfreeze.

Note to darling twins: I did refrain from posting pictures of your room (again). Or your laundry. Where Dad found a clean stack of clothes still folded in the bottom of one of your hampers tonight covered with dirty clothes you left here. Nice.

Just want to keep it real.

Where is that prescription bottle?