Moments
Tuesday, August 12, 2008, by Sherra
When you find this book in the back seat of your car that your lovely
17 year-old daughters have been driving around in all summer…
Is it a positive or a negative?
Counting on all of you to tell me…
Should I be worried?
Or should I be rejoicing?
I’ll be waiting here patiently for your answers - just type them in the comment section below.
P.S. Remember if you are reading this through an email subscription or an RSS reader, you need to click over to the website to leave a comment.
Popularity: 21%
Categories: Finding the Funny, Moments, Random Thoughts, Teens
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Friday, August 8, 2008, by Sherra
I just realized I almost forgot to tell you how Toni and I did in her member/guest golf tournament. I know you’ve all been waiting anxiously to hear.
Okay, maybe not.
But remember when I went to North Carolina last month to play golf and we got a little sidetracked at the grocery store?
We actually did play golf and I should tell you that she invited me back to this same tournament in spite of how poorly I played last year.
Let’s just say I had a very, very bad round!
I was honored that she invited me back. I’d like to think she has a long list of friends who play golf but she picked me.
That would be a lie.
I mean about the friends who play golf.
Anyway, the belated BIG news is that we finished SECOND in the tourney.
I don’t really know what all those numbers mean except that she put me down as a bad golfer with a really high handicap based on my last year’s performance.
Whatever. We still got 2nd place!
Woo-hoo!
Totally unexpected but bonus fun during our already fun weekend together. Especially since the last time I had golfed was in November.
One other little story about our golf weekend…
I don’t use my woods anymore. Because they are not my friends.
The basic concept is to use the woods (which are actually metal now - one more reason some people are put off by the game) for your long shots and irons don’t go as far.
Toni uses a BIG wood and hits like a man.
That is a total compliment and she knows how impressed we are when she hits and Ann and I say “You’re the man.”
I use my four iron off the tee. And it seems to stress everyone except me.
I just have to share this one great photo that will only matter to those who golf and understand the difference between a wood and an iron. Which is everyone now that I’ve explained.
We were lucky to have our friend Ann with us who doesn’t play but is our personal photographer. Unfortunately Toni and I would rather not have our picture taken.
These are our tee shots. Toni’s BIG wood. My little iron.
I’m not gloating, I swear.
It has been a pretty good summer of bowling and golf for the old lady mama.
I’m just saying…
I am competitive and not afraid to admit it. 
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Categories: Finding the Funny, Friends, Moments
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Wednesday, July 30, 2008, by Sherra
Some people have some strong reactions when I say I’ve been out of town. Whether it’s a weekend or a two weeks.
Sometimes it’s just lighthearted joking. Sometimes it is envy.
I’m pretty sure that sometimes there is a bit of judgment about me being selfish or not being a very good “stay-at-home” mom.
I don’t miss the irony of being home and wanting to leave.
While I’m proud and grateful to be able to be at home since The Grunter was born, I have also been very vocal about my need to leave and have time away from my husband and family.
Luckily I have Nice Dad who always does an excellent job when I travel.
I started traveling on my own for both business and pleasure when the twins turned one.
Mostly for health reasons.
My mental health.
Though I know my sanity is still in question, I know that leaving home has been my saving grace as a woman.
We wear a lot of hats as women and we are genetically predisposed to take care of everyone else — usually before we take care of ourselves.
One of the reasons PhilBillPaul “gets me” is that he really gets that I need some personal space and he gets that I am a better wife and mother when I come back home!
I’ve encouraged other women friends to make some time for themselves. I have friends who rarely, if ever, have left their husband and/or children to treat themselves to some “me” time.
I’m not necessarily talking about a trip - for some women it can be just a few hours. For others it’s a few days. For me, a few weeks can be nice.
Some of them have actually taken my advice and just seemed to need permission from another adult, i.e. a friend to say it is okay and normal to both need and want to leave home sometimes!
Some of them insist they don’t need any time to themselves.
Some say “their turn will come.”
They worry me - like the perpetually happy, perfect people who make the rest of us look bad.
I learned a long time ago that I have to take care of me.
When a tiny amount of guilt creeps in about my desire to leave home, I remember what I’m trying to teach my kids.
What is important to me is that they see a mother who isn’t afraid to take a break, a mom who isn’t superwoman or even pretending to be! They also need to see that dad is more than capable of taking care of his children.
Maybe I’m a little paranoid about what “some people” think. Then again, maybe not.
I wish I could tell you I cared about what “some people” think or say about me. But I don’t.
I do care deeply about the people I love and who love me. It may be a small number of people and I’m pretty sure the number fluctuates on a daily basis - just check with my family.
It is because I do care that I keep leaving…
…so I can come back home.
Do you leave? Do you want to leave but never do? I’d love to hear how you find time for yourself.
Leave a comment below and remember if you’re reading this through an email subscription or RSS feeder just click over to the site so you can comment.
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Categories: Life Lessons, Moments
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Friday, July 18, 2008, by Sherra
I’m still traveling but through my highly advanced technology skills the internet, I am able to post from the comfort of my beautiful hotel room in sunny California.
A big thank you to my regular readers and subscribers for being flexible while I’m out of town.
If you’re visiting here for the first time and you were part of the lovely audience at the conference I spoke to, I’d love to get your feedback!
It should come as no surprise that I have three quick, easy questions for you.
1) Did I provide you with practical, useful information?
2) Did I make you think differently about anything?
3) Did you laugh? (or at least smile?)
Of course, I’d also love to know three things you took home from the conference. The more details, the better!
Throw in any suggestions for improvements, topic content, etc.
And anything else you care to share.
Come on, don’t be shy leave a comment below or if you’d like to keep it private, just click here to contact me directly.
Right here, right now, please let me hear from you! Let’s keep in touch
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Categories: Moments
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Friday, July 4, 2008, by Sherra
Today is 4th of July and you all know what that means…
Did you get your Old Navy t-shirt?
When exactly did this become a tradition?
I don’t ever remember my parents buying me a flag shirt on 4th of July.
I think the tradition began when Old Navy opened and we were all sucked in by some great retail marketing and the price of a $5 t-shirt.
I thought it would be nice to once again do my civic duty and remind you all what this holiday is all about.
Beyond the sparklers, fireworks, picnics, and the red, white and blue (and sometimes grey) Old Navy t-shirts, today is a day of celebration of our great nation’s independence! It is a day to remember how lucky we are to live in America.
It is also a great day to remember those service men and women who are the real heroes every day. They serve our country so we can all be free.
My heartfelt thank you to each and every one of them and when we light sparklers tonight in our backyard, they will be in my thoughts and prayers.
I would be remiss if I didn’t confess right here and now that we bought into the Old Navy marketing scheme. In fact, I did a little historical research and we bought into it starting in 1995 which was the 2nd year they were opened. I think it was the year they introduced those darn t-shirts. (But maybe I missed them the first year?)
Here is the photographic evidence and it is the only holiday where we have ever dressed alike as a family. No comments on the parents, but those kids were pretty cute in their flag shirts…but I know I’m biased.
I didn’t want to bore you with every year we did it but it was fun and the kids really did and still do like it. It was bonus fun when we added Scary Baby and had to buy SIX shirts.
And again in 2003. This is the year Wizzy was taller than everyone. Probably a year that The Grunter would rather I didn’t post here.
In 2006 I got really fancy and tried to take a picture in the dark with the sparklers. As you can see, my night photography skills need some work.
This might be the first year I didn’t buy the shirts. Oops, I forgot. I’ll let you know if everyone gets through the day or wears last year’s shirt. I’m pretty sure they’ll all be okay.
The kids have planned a bonfire and cookout with boyfriends and girlfriends in our backyard. Granny is here and did not adhere to my $20 fireworks budget which was clearly enough for a box of sparklers for everyone.
She tells me that she is allowed to spoil them while she’s here. I hope that means she’s going to supervise them with the gigantic pack of expensive, loud, explosive items they hoodwinked her into buying for them yesterday!
Take some pictures, enjoy time with family and friends and have a very Happy 4th of July!
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Categories: Moments, Raves
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Wednesday, July 2, 2008, by Sherra
Nominations are now opened.
Feel free to nominate yourself.
Because I am.
Nominating myself that is.
Here’s why.
Phone call at 11:40 a.m. yesterday…
Me:
Hello
(Okay I might have said “What?” because I don’t really like to talk to anyone before noon.)
PhilBillPaul:
Don’t freak out…
As you can see he’s been diligently working on improving his communication skills.
That kind of opening line always has a calming effect on me.
…but my mom is at the Atlanta airport and if we can find a good flight for her to get back to Austin, she’d like to come to the house and stay with us for a week. (She was flying home from visiting her sister in Florida.)
Me:
Silence
PhilBillPaul:
Obviously I am at a customer’s doing my job so I can’t get on the internet. Do you think you could get on your computer and see if you could find a good airfare for her so she could stay?
Me:
Silence
PhilBillPaul:
I mean, if that wouldn’t stress you. She has a two-hour layover and if we can find a flight she’d like to stay.
Me:
I’ll look.
PhilBillPaul:
Thank you! Call me back if you find something.
Me:
Bye.
I open my laptop, do a quick search for a one-way flight.
At 11:54 a.m. I call Granny on her cell phone and tell her what I have found. She says that sounds great and I book the flight for her. I tell her that I’ll call PhilBillPaul and one of us will come and get her and call her back in a few minutes.
The airport is 46 miles straight through downtown Atlanta which could be 46 minutes IF there is no traffic.
Which would be when pigs fly.
Just in case you’ve never driven through Atlanta.
I call PhilBillPaul and tell him his mother has a ticket for next Tuesday and he’ll need to take a 1/2 day off work to take her to the airport next week.
I ask him where he is (he travels throughout the metropolitan Atlanta area almost daily for his job) and he is not really close to the airport. But he says he should be done in about two hours if she could “hang tight” at the airport then he could go get her so I wouldn’t have to.
He knows I’m in the middle of a big work project and I really don’t have time to stop and take three hours to go down to the airport and back.
Here is more of his always-improving communication skills…
PhilBillPaul:
Will you call her and ask if she can wait at the airport for two hours?
Me:
NO.
You call her yourself and take care of getting her to the house.
PhilBillPaul:
Okay, you’re right. I should call her back. I’ll handle it from here. Thanks for getting her the ticket.
Come on now - I’m not bragging but I would like to know how many of you would welcome your mother-in-law to your home for a week long visit with two hours notice?
I should tell you one more thing that does make a big difference about how much spontaneity I can handle.
I love Granny.
The kids love Granny.
PhilBillPaul is very lucky that we all love Granny.
He is also lucky that Hormone Hell Week was last week or he wouldn’t have a calm, flexible wife who booked a flight for his mom.
Good timing Granny!
I cannot name one friend I have that would welcome their mother-in-law for a week in their home with virtually no notice.
Bring on the nominations - just leave a comment below and then we can all vote next week on the winner. (Remember to click through to the blog to leave your comment if you are reading this through an email update or RSS feed reader.)
Please don’t let me win this award uncontested.
I’m all about a good healthy competition!
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Categories: Finding the Funny, Moments
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Friday, June 27, 2008, by Sherra
Flexible that is.
Well, let me clarify. She is very flexible as an athlete. She is, after all, the one we called our circus baby.
But she does things her way, in her time frame and has always marched to the beat of her own drum.
She is also the dominant twin. “They say” (whoever “they” are) that one twin is typically the more dominant twin. We watched this from the very beginning. She was a tiny bully. She plucked Wizzy’s binky out of her mouth. She scooted and crawled over to Wizzy and took whatever toy she had or was even thinking about having. She learned how to jump and catapult out of her crib and land in Wizzy’s crib and jump on her.
One day I heard Wizzy crying intermittently and I quietly went around the corner to see why and Roger Leroy was hitting her and with a gleam in her eye saying,
“Cye, Wizzy, cye again”
She has overcome the speech impediment but not necessarily her penchant for teasing and tormenting her twin whenever she can.
Stubborn and quirky are words that describe her.
On her first birthday, it took about seven adults watching her and saying “Sit back down” to keep her in her high chair. Even when strapped in, she was a little Houdini baby who could get out of anything.
At one year-old they each weighed 16 pounds. 16 pound tiny people are not suppose to walk.
Or try to climb out of the cart at Home Depot.
Only by God’s grace did I catch the hem of her dress before she hit the concrete floor head first.
Here she is stuck in a toy bucket…
I think she had underwear on but I can’t really remember.
Here she is sleeping with a ball balanced on her eye. PhilBillPhil found her this way and he took this picture.
Are you getting the quirky vibe yet?
Here she is with Silly Putty.
Yep, we have all done that with Silly Putty, haven’t we?
Here she is on our driveway wrapped and tied up in her bedroom comforter…because we always take our bedding outside to play with it on the driveway.
I think they referred to this as the “burrito game” and she would then free herself from all the knots her siblings had tied. This, by the way, was at her request.
She can walk on stilts, bounce down the street on a pogo stick, juggle, ride a unicycle and shoot a basketball and make the shot on the unicycle. She has yet to meet a sport she couldn’t play and excel at.
She is “mama junior” to Scary Baby and has always had a special bond with her. She makes good grades and has an internal drive to do her best. She excels at anything she puts her mind to.
When she’s not irritating her twin sister, they have a lot of fun together.
Like last summer when they went to Tampa. They went over to Luci’s Alzheimer’s facility several times.
She fell in love there.
His name is Oscar.
Another picture I had to frame. Pure joy in both their faces as he gave her a kiss when she went over to tell him goodbye.
And when she’s not being a total jock or an L.C. (Little Crud as PhilBillPaul refers to her) or rolling her eyes at me…
She actually cleans up nicely and is a beautiful young woman.
We love you, circus baby…
P.S. Celebrate with me that The Twin Birthmonth Party is now
OFFICIALLY OVER!!! 
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Categories: Finding the Funny, Milestones, Moments, Rants, Raves
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Monday, June 23, 2008, by Sherra
We have recently learned that 5 days in Nashville is not significant enough birthday celebration for twin girls turning 17.
Um, and who decided this?
NOT the parents.
Appparently, the Nashville trip falls under the Never Enough Syndrome.
Because getting to personally meet AND touch Taylor Swift was not enough.
Wednesday, which is their actual birthday, I’ll be sure to show you the sheet they tossed on my bed entitled “Bday Plan” early last week.
Because when I was growing up, we spent the whole MONTH celebrating whoever was born that month. NOT.
In a family of six, that would be half the year spent celebrating birthdays.
Don’t get me wrong, we do celebrate (quietly, in our hearts) being the parents of four healthy children. We really do.
But these twin daughters of ours are testing our patience more than usual.
I’m sure it’s because they are twins and have had to share everything.
Starting with my womb. As if this is my fault?
They’ve shared a room. They’ve shared a birthday cake every year.
Mothers of multiples, no judgment here please! Remember we all get to choose whether we dress them alike and if they are split up in school and if one cake with two names works for our family and all those other major decisions that parents of multiples are plagued with.
On the positive side, they are literally best friends and it warms my heart…when they aren’t fighting.
Today I thought I would take a few moments to post about ONE twin instead of two. Yes, I confess, it is hard to not consider them a unit even though they are not siamese. Heck, they’re not even identical. It’s just easier to refer to The Grunter, The Girls and Scary Baby.
So today, I choose Wizzy.
Because as the younger of the two, she always seemed to have to go last for everything.
Well, that and her twin was the dominant a.k.a. bully twin for many, many years.
So here is my photo tribute to Wizzy who is the biggest people-pleaser of our four kids.
She is a peace keeper and a friend to all. She is funny and kind. She is sweet and fiery. She is a leader and is always the first to help. She has a huge heart and loves everyone.
She displayed athletic talent and basketball skill very early. Check out those Converse Chuck Taylor high tops!
She was the best belated Father’s Day present PhilBillPaul has yet to receive.
She let me dress her up in girlie clothes for years. She’s still the *easy* twin to shop with for clothes!
She is unique in every way. She didn’t really resemble her other 3 siblings and is our only redheaded child. Then her cousin visited from Texas and we realized she is a Humphreys through and through. We are still amazed at how much they look alike!
She was the last lucky duck to ride (and drive) Grandad’s golf cart. They had so much fun together with special one-on-one time!
She wasn’t so lucky on Friday when she went to play golf and an errant shot from another hole hit her in the stomach while she was selecting her club. I almost cried when she came home and showed me this horrible mark on her stomach. Notice that she smiled and let me take a picture. Did I mention she finished the round and injuries don’t get in the way of competition.
Disclaimer: Not a lesson she learned from me. I would have stopped playing and drove home crying and stayed in bed for a few days.
Finding out a “redneck” golfer (I’m trying to be nice here) did not even yell “FORE” which is proper golf etiquette when you hit a bad shot and you MUST warn everyone within the sound of your voice.
Thank goodness that she is okay and it didn’t hit her in the head–we would have spent the weekend in the hospital.
Sidenote: If you don’t know or understand all the intricate rules of golf, do us all a favor and learn them before you come out on the course and ruin the game for others. There are books that you can read about the rules or if you can’t read, watch a video. Or, you can’t learn the rules, take up a less complicated sport.
Finally, my lovely, tall, lanky daughter is truly a delight to be around. She wakes up singing like a bird (not inherited from either parent) and really does try to make the world a better place.
Before she embarks on her next journey to make a new friend, help a stray animal or bring a smile to a stranger’s face she has an important job to do. She needs to go shopping for some new jeans because Sunday night she bent over and split her favorite jeans and even if mama could sew, I don’t think we can repair these…
We love you, precious daughter…
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Categories: Finding the Funny, Milestones, Moments, Raves
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Friday, June 13, 2008, by Sherra
It’s hard to be nine.
It’s especially hard to be nine when you have three teenage siblings.
And it’s a hot summer day.
Which always makes me think of staying inside and reading a good book.
So I went to a special cabinet in my room to get one of those classic books out for Scary Baby yesterday.
It made me remember being nine and being able to walk to the air-conditioned library in the small town where we lived.
It made me think of some of my favorite books and authors that transported me to another place and made me love reading…as in it is one my most favorite things to do!
We have three out of four kids that devour books like PhilBillPaul and I do. One unnamed teen much prefers TV to a good book.
Nature vs. nurture is alive and well at our house.
Here are some of my all-time favorites that all my kids have read and still love (even the non-reader):
Ramona the Pest
by Beverly Cleary
(I love the whole series!)
Encyclopedia Brown, Boy Detective
by Donald Sobol
(You don’t have to be a boy to love this series!)
The Boxcar Children
by Gertrude Chandler Warner
(might just be my all-time favorite series!)
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
by Roald Dahl
(fun to read and then watch the *original* movie with Gene Wilder!)
Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing
by Judy Blume
(love, love, love all her books!)
The library is a fabulous place to spend some of your hot summer days. Most libraries have great summer reading programs and activities. Books make great gifts at any age.
Have you passed on your love of reading on to your kids?
Share the titles or authors of your favorite childhood books…it’s always fun to get book recommendations!
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Categories: Moments, Random Thoughts, Raves, Tweens
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Wednesday, June 11, 2008, by Sherra
It’s Tuesday night as I write my Wednesday post having totally missed writing on Monday. Being spontaneous can get in the way of blogging.
We spent an extra night in Nashville. You cannot believe how exhausting it is to listen to country music.
Actually, I think it was most exhausting to travel with three teenage girls.
From the teenage daughters’ perspective (because much to their dismay, I was both a teenager and a daughter) and as their mother, I am entitled to speak for them…
These are the observations I made on this trip that I realize will not be giant revelations for many of you. Think of them more as the beginning of the by-laws for our Mean Mother Club…
- Mothers are stupid.
- Mothers are embarrassing.
- Mothers should not dance.
- Mothers should not like country music.
- Mothers should not think a country music singer is
“good looking”, “cute” or “hot”.
My biggest personal revelation about teenage girls is that there are many ways that this season of their life is very similar to the one you thought you had already made it through–the toddler stage…
- They throw tantrums when they don’t get their way.
- They are loud at inappropriate times.
- They are very cranky when they don’t get enough sleep.
- They are very, very stubborn.
- Everything is a power struggle. “I do it myself.”
-
You have to keep your eye on them or they get lost.
(Roger Leroy & Sharté got on the wrong shuttle bus and went to Opryland which is nowhere near downtown Nashville.)
Fellow Stupid Mother and friend Lisa and I did have tons of fun in spite of the teenagers.
The teenagers had tons of fun in spite of their mothers.
I think they would all agree that one of the biggest highlights of the four-day festival was on Friday.
First the back story…
They had to walk seven blocks because Stupid Mother #1 (me) overheard that THE ONE singer who they HAD TO meet and get HER autograph, was shooting a video outside on the steps of the Ryman Auditorium. I actually had to demand that they come because they were *busy* at the Sports Zone about to play some game or spin some wheel to win a laminated calendar or matchbox car.
What followed was waiting for over two hours in sweltering heat standing curbside just five steps from a drum set waiting to see who was coming out.
SHE came out and was darling and was overwhelmed by the crowd that had gathered. SHE sang a new song that no one had heard before. SHE came down to the yellow police tape and shook hands and thanked everyone for coming.
The crowd dispersed.
Stupid Mother #1 quietly said to Roger Leroy, “You know SHE has to come out of the building but it won’t be out of these doors. You all need to go around and find the door with a car or limo and maybe you can get her autograph.”
Roger Leroy said, as she rolled her eyes, “I’m thirsty and we’re going back to the Sports Zone. We’ll get HER autograph tomorrow.”
(Because standing in line with 800 people who also got tickets to get HER autograph the next day would be super fun.)
Stupid Mother #1 said to Stupid Mother #2 (Lisa) “I just told her that SHE will have to come out the building and the girls should find the back door but Roger Leroy is thirsty and I guess I’m just having another stupid idea.”
I gave it one more shot and asked Roger Leroy if she had told Sharté
(#1 fan) what I had suggested.
They had a private teenager conference. Sharté asked where I thought they should go. I suggested the alley and walk around the building.
They actually started down the alley!
About 30 minutes later, they came around the corner, running uphill in 100 degree weather screaming like excited, happy toddlers.
Because they met HER and SHE asked if they wanted a picture with HER…
Taylor Swift
is a delightful and refreshing role model for teenage girls.
HER debut album where all the songs she either wrote or co-wrote is triple platinum. SHE is a recent high school graduate and is currently touring with Rascal Flatts.
And she TOUCHED our daughters!!!!!
The Stupid Mothers were very happy for their daughters!
We hope they will always remember this special trip.
We hope they know how very much we love them…
through every season.
Meanwhile, the Stupid Mothers loved, loved, loved listening and looking at Josh Turner, Keith Urban, Chuck Wicks, Luke Bryan, Craig Morgan, Rodney Atkins, Alan Jackson, Trace Adkins and many, many other great musicians.
Oh, and Carrie Underwood, Faith Hill, Sara Evans, Kellie Pickler, Miranda Lambert, and many other ladies were really good too.
Teenage daughters will have to get their own blog to tell their side of the story.
P.S. Would you please send me an email and let me know if you received this post or my Friday post through your email subscription OR if you read my blog through an RSS feed? I think the service is not working again. I love to try to fix things that are out of my control…
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Categories: Finding the Funny, Friends, Moments, Teens
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