So many things to talk about, so little time.

I left unexpectedly last weekend to see “My Other Family” as in the one I don’t live with.

One of my uncles in Indiana passed away. Uncle Bob was just a month shy of 84 and I have written about my cousin Sally here. His wife, my Aunt Jane is my mom’s sister.

Wizzy was kind enough to cancel her 4th of July plans and jump in the car with me and help me drive to Indianapolis and then on to Chicago. She earned her darling twin moniker for being so willing to be trapped with me in a car for endless hours upon hours and then be trapped bond with extended family–most of whom she hadn’t seen for about ten years.

It was a poignant 4th of July service as my Uncle Bob was a Marine as were his two sons.

I can’t resist another opportunity to post my favorite picture of Sally’s family.

Sal: Was this in the slideshow?

Oh, the fun family things I could write about.

Oh, the fun family things I must refrain from writing about.

Uncle Jack and I did have a nice conversation and he wholeheartedly agreed with me about Tiger Woods.

I have discovered I have at least 3 more relatives reading the blog and we already know how Junebug feels about my writing so I’m going to exercise some self-control.

For now.

The Trivial and Mundane

I’ll catch up this week on blogging and life and The Bachelorette. It was a tiny bit stressful to not watch the Monday night show until Thursday night when we returned home.

My only comment from last week’s episode especially since it’s old news.

Jake is a bigger tool than I even thought possible.

Thanks to those sweet people who checked on me and for being concerned. For those who didn’t miss me…well, you aren’t even reading this, are you?

It’s that time of year with end of school activities. Don’t get me started on how much can be crammed into the last few weeks of school.

Scary Baby is almost done with 5th grade and will go to middle school in August.

Not possible.

But true.

I took this picture a few months ago.

The Grunter started his quarter collection the same year Scary Baby was born.

He was missing 2007’s Wyoming.

It was only fitting that she complete his collection by finding the last quarter he needed.

A decade of milestones.

Surely worth more than a quarter or two.

“I hate it when they are home. I hate it when they leave.”

Their leaving last week caused a wee bit of stress.

Understatement of the year.

Stress that only parents can understand. And even then, some of you don’t know what I’m talking about. Maybe because your darlings haven’t left yet.

The darling twins are now gone for five months. I’m equating this departure to a semester abroad. Except they are in Arizona. So I guess it’s a semester out west.

They will thrive and shine. They will be fine. Because we have prepared them for life in ways I’ve seen many of their peers are not prepared. For that, we are grateful.

We know they are equipped with life skills and life lessons. Even though they choose not to use those skills here at our house.

Roger Leroy sent me this text tonight just as I was about to write this…

“You not sharing any life lessons lately is bothering me.”

Funny kid.

I don’t like the blog pressure. Funny thing about the blog is that when I don’t write, people worry.

Sweet, kind people who wonder if something is wrong.

A few emails. A few phone messages.

As if my silence might indicated that my feet have been dangling dangerously close to the edge of The Black Hole.

Or that I may have set a personal record and taken xan*x three days in a row.

Side note: I’m not spelling the drug name out any more as it seems to attract spammers offering me all kinds of interesting pharmaceuticals.

I’m fine, fine, fine. I promise.

I’ve just been really busy doing some blog design work in between recovering from the holidays and spending quality time with the family.

I do miss them when they aren’t here. I really do.

Since this blog is really my online family photo album and my personal therapy, I’ll share this tiny glimpse of what I don’t and won’t miss…

Photos compliments of Scary Baby because I couldn’t bear to look again.

Oh yes, that is my precious little blue bug (that Wizzy is in the process of buying) and that is where a passenger is suppose to put their feet.

Why yes, that is chocolate milk and orange juice. And marinara sauce on the floor mat, I think. For the record, in an attempt to make me feel better, Wizzy did say it was OPT…Other People’s Trash.

Yes, as a matter of fact, I did cry. And scream. A lot.

Another proud week at the Humpfreeze.

Note to darling twins: I did refrain from posting pictures of your room (again). Or your laundry. Where Dad found a clean stack of clothes still folded in the bottom of one of your hampers tonight covered with dirty clothes you left here. Nice.

Just want to keep it real.

Where is that prescription bottle?

I have issues
Parenting wears me out
Parenting teenagers has still not driven me to drink

And if I ever do decide to take up drinking, you would also know that I would never drink and drive.

I actually made that life decision long before I became a drunk driving statistic and a severe head injury survivor.

The irony of me being the designated driver for friends who drank in high school and college and then me being hit by a drunk driver doesn’t escape me.

I vividly remember that Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) campaign at the time of our crash was “Don’t call me lucky” which is a slogan I have worn out over the years. Being hit head-on by a drunk driver, living through it and having your life turned upside down is not lucky.

Don’t get me wrong – I am blessed and grateful for my recovery and I have a good life.

It has always seemed incredibly selfish to me to put other people’s lives at risk because of your bad choices. (Not to mention putting your own life at risk.)

MADD has a new campaign that I am happy to tell you about because I do believe that the “Power of Parents” is worth blogging about. If you have teenagers, the message of choices and of making the choice and commitment to not drink and drive is worth talking about.

Take their quiz or watch their video to help you get started with this important season of parenting.

The Power of Parents campaign with the tagline “It’s your influence” is an important reminder for all of us to remember we can really make a difference with our teenagers. It is our job to do our best to influence them to make good decisions.

I am a nut about driving safety as I’ve shared here before and this is certainly part of that whole process.

Remember…

I am that parent.

I hope you will be that parent too.

Full disclaimer: I wrote this review while participating in a blog campaign by Mom Central on behalf of MADD. A donation was made to MADD in my name to thank me for taking the time to participate.

Just so you know…the donation is lovely but I would have written this without it.

Have a fabulous and safe weekend!

Where you were the moment you heard…

And send a prayer up to those who were lost and those who still grieve…

And for everyone who needs an extra prayer today.

Never forget 9-11-01

With gestational diabetes, high blood pressure, the Kell antibody in my blood and I was labeled “High Risk” since all those factors coupled with that pesky head injury and coma of ‘87 seemed to be in my permanent record.

Just a few hours before, they told PhilBillPaul it was going to be a long night and he should get some rest.

So he promptly went to sleep on the empty hospital bed next to me.

While I laid awake for several hours after the nurse told me I might experience some “slight cramping.”

Yeah, it was nice to know that PhilBillPaul got some rest while I was pretty sure I was going to DIE as I watched that bottom number on the blood pressure monitor keep rising.

I beeped the nurses and said that if this was “slight cramping” then they could just kill me now because I was never, ever going to live through the actual labor.

Surprise, surprise – I was in labor and they kicked it into high gear.

I demanded an epidural.

And when the doctor arrived, he had the gall to say to me “Oh, you’re too far along but I can give you some Demerol to take the edge off.”

Natural childbirth was not my birthing plan.

In spite of the grudge I still hold (just towards the doctor), I birthed a perfect little baby boy.

Who, today, leaves his teen years behind…

On this milestone day of 09-09-09.

Not only does the date look good in marketing promotions, but it also represents the last set of repeating, single-digit dates that we’ll see for almost a century (until January 1, 2101), or a millennium (mark your calendars for January 1, 3001), depending on how you want to count it.

Beyond the Cocoa Krispie Nightmare and his using pot in front of us, he is smart and funny and seems to be turning out okay in spite of being surrounded by estrogen, chaos and dysfunction.

He continues to bless our lives…

Happy Birthday Pumpkin.

Evie James Humpies…we love you to the moon.

xoxo

Whatever normal is.

I tend to interrupt people when they say

“When things get back to normal I will…”

Wait. Stop.

Define normal.

We have had a few normal moments.

In between the darling twins arrival, departure, return, departure, return, departure…yes, if you are counting – it means they came home.

AGAIN.

But back to the subject of normal…

We have experienced Scary Baby’s first day of school.

In a brand new school. 5th grade. No pictures. 4th child syndrome. Sorry.

PhilBillPaul had another birthday. That was barely acknowledged because it fell on the 2nd day of school and the day the twins left. Sorry.

This is our normal.

This past Friday after school, Scary Baby had another unnecessary magical elementary school dance.

This one with the theme of Solid Gold 70’s Dance.

Do I really need to tell you that the one with the rainbow afro wig (which doubles as a clown wig at Halloween – I love multi-purpose items) is our precious Scary Baby?

This picture brings us back full circle.

Define Normal?

Hope you have some *normal* moments this week…

In and out.

Over and over.

To recover from the 4 days “at home” with the darling twins.

“At home” is very subjective and is great material for:

• Another post
• The Book
• The Jerry Springer show

Luckily, I’ve been able to dig deep, pick out the happy pictures and share the moments of Family Day at Ft. Jackson in Columbia, South Carolina and our safe arrival home.

So without further ado, I will continue to…

Focus on the Positive

Watching the Soldiers come out of the woods was simply amazing.

Much more so than the YouTube video I encouraged you to watch.

We were overcome with emotion and pride as Toby Keith’s “American Soldier” played and we tried to find our babies Soldiers…

In case you couldn’t pick them out – because let’s face it – they all kind of look alike in their ACUs (Army Combat Uniforms)…

It was an honor for us to meet many of the drill sergeants.

I was glad to be able to thank them for their service and for taking care of our daughters over the summer.

They were very complimentary of “The Twins” and many of them thanked us for raising such fine young women.

Lizzie showed that her PT (physical training) really paid off.

This was on a dare from Scary Baby over the phone a few weeks before we arrived. We were all duly impressed!

This sign was in the stairway we walked up to see their sleeping bay where they had spent their last 10 weeks…

Such a powerful reminder of who they are becoming.

Picture snapped as we picked up their gear and just before we all got kicked out…

Then we headed for air conditioning.

PhilBillPaul and I had made a pledge to do our best to not complain about the heat. Even though it was about 120 degrees with no breeze and we were all sweating while standing still.

Because we realized that our darling twins had endured this heat wearing full gear for most of the summer so we were pretty sure we could last for one day.

Our lily white Lizzie’s only request was that we spend the day inside – she was so sick of the South Carolina heat.

No surprise that she reveled in her day of freedom with some of her favorite things…

Bowling and nachos with that liquid cheese that is really not cheese.

Happy girl. She earned every bit of that neon orange cheese.

You may have forgotten but we do have a 4th child. He still lives with us.

He did greet us on the driveway at 1:00 a.m. and actually hugged one of his sisters.

The Grunter was also kind enough to do a little decorating before we got home.

He hung the banner and lined the curb in front of our house with American flags.

We’re still not sure if they missed the wiener dogs more than us. Since they are now 18 (which we have been reminded of several times) you’ll have to ask them.

Lord knows and so do we that they can speak for themselves…

GIANT SIGH…

More updates on Wednesday – if you can stand it.

Because I’ve been counting the years one by one of this job I’ve been in for almost 20 years.

Longest streak of gainful employment for me.

Raising human beings does qualify as gainful employment.

It feels kind of weird when you work yourself out of a job.

But that was the original goal 18 years ago.

To teach life skills and send them off on their own.

Those precious tiny babies that turned into pesky teenagers.

I never could have predicted that those darling twins would become Soldiers.

Or that their 18th summer would be spent fulfilling 18 training requirements none of which include what most of their friends are doing like going to the pool, the mall, the movies or the beach.

They’ll have to save all that for next summer.

Instead, the gas chamber exercise and proudly declaring, “I didn’t throw up” is a highlight of their summer.

Completing 3, 5, 8, 10 and 15K foot marches…

An obstacle course, marksmanship and throwing two live grenades are things they will forever remember.

I never could have predicted that I wouldn’t be able to talk to them on their 18th birthday.

Instead, I had to send them each a card.

That was really a mini photo album that I hope makes them smile.

With a letter written in the back telling them how much we miss them and love them.

And how very proud we are of the women they are becoming…

Hug your kids for me today and please send up a little prayer for mine…

P.S. The Grunter and Scary Baby are still at home so technically, I’m still employed but I am looking for a job outside the home that will utilize all my amazing people and management skills. Call me if you have an opening.

This is extra funny since I don’t drink.

And do not condone minor drinking.

In spite of that…

We did have two bars at their party last Friday.

Bar #1 ~ A Taco Bar

The crockpots full of meat were shredded chicken, pork and beef. I did not want to use the oven for anything on the day of the party so this worked out well.

If you are interested in the recipes which received rave reviews, just click below:

• Cafe Rio Pork
• Costa Vida Chicken
• Shredded Beef

I also made mexican rice and black beans neither of which I eat but friends said were good. Fresh tortilla chips, salsa, crispy taco shells and shredded cheese from our favorite local Mexican restaurant rounded out the taco bar.

Side note: Thank goodness for great neighbors who loaned us crockpots and great serving dishes to keep costs down.

Bar #2 ~ A Candy Bar

It seemed to be a big hit with all ages.

This kid cracks me up every time I see him.

I was pretty sure we couldn’t go wrong with a candy bar!

Even if the cute little graduation caps melted on the sticks and slid down to the bottom because it was 85 degrees that day. Let’s not talk about our air conditioning problems right now, kay?

The high school colors are maroon, navy blue and gold.

Did you know it is very hard to find navy or royal blue sugar?

I had found this cool place on the internet near us and we went last Monday – the exact same day that blogging rockstar and cake pop queen Bakerella featured the store. I think we should be friends and I really think I should have emailed her and asked begged her to come and make cake pops or cupcake bites for the party.

Because this is what my feeble attempt looked like.

Which may not look all that bad to you if you’ve never seen Bakerella’s adorable creations. I’m not encouraging you to but if you must you can click over to her site and confirm yet another calling I really didn’t miss.

We had red velvet with cream cheese frosting and lemon with lemon frosting. Everyone was fascinated that you could eat the whole thing – I should have made a tent card that said “Entirely edible” because people tried to peel the bottom like it was cupcake paper but it was actually melted white chocolate.

Or I could have just ordered a cake from Costco. Yeah, I considered that after making three test batches of cake pop blobs.

We called these Triple Chocolate Army Helmets.

Even though we made them in a truffle mold. Yeah, helmets – way more appropriate then truffles on sticks.

We added PhilBillPaul and Scary Baby’s patriotic pretzels and the candy bar served its purpose.

The party was lovely. Really it was.

Now if we can get through the graduation on Thursday…

P.S. Though there was no official *bar*, PhilBillPaul did serve a few Mexican beers to the grownups.