An internet fast.

I wish I could say I lost a few pounds but alas, I continued to eat during my fast.

Two back-to-back trips meant I was gone from home for eight days.

The first trip was so spontaneous that I didn’t have time to prepare any blog posts and thought I would write when I arrived at our destination.

Spontaneity with a family of six is really an oxymoron.

But we pulled it off and I was sure I would just keep blogging when we got out of the car.

Only to find no internet.

Except on my phone. I’m a creative problem solver and a bit of techno-nerd but I cannot write a blog post on the keyboard of my phone.

Nor can I answer emails other than a few short words on my phone.

I’m an old-fashioned typist – shocking but true!

We’re all fine, fine, fine!

Really, it was a lovely break. All the typing and emailing and reading on the computer screen can be exhausting. I think everyone should try to take an internet break a time or two.

Being tethered to the internet and the wondrous wireless world is great but I still like being with people and have conversation while we make eye contact with each other and aren’t multi-tasking with our laptops and cell phones and other amazing electronic gadgets.

I’ll share some highlights in the coming days. Oh, the fun stories I have to tell of the Humpfreeze family travels.

What’s the longest you’ve gone without internet in recent years?

Photo courtesy of See-ming Lee

I keep a running list on my computer and it has grown over the years. It all started when we were driving up to the mountains and Lizzie said “I know we’re getting close because I saw the sign for Cherry-o-key.”

In her defense, she was in the 3rd grade.

We love to mispronounce things whenever we can. Part of it is some Indiana dialect that comes from both of our mothers. Part of it is that we all have some classic word we have mispronounced and then whenever we try to say it, we have to stop and think “Did I just say that wrong AGAIN?”

Here’s our Humpfreeze list of amusing words that we like to mispronounce on purpose.

Sidenote: I won’t call out who said it wrong first which is usually why it gets on the list. Some are really just for fun. Just in case you read the list and think “Oh my, they are really a dumb family.”

We call our little game “IS IT?” You really have to say them out loud to fully enjoy the game.

• cherokee or cherry-o-key
• pecan or pee-can
• carribbean or care-a-be-n
• caramel or care-mell
• potato or po-tot-toe
• roof or ruff
• wash or warsh
• milk or melk
• bear or bar
• route or root
• coupon or coo-pon
• Illinois or Illi-noise
• italian or I-tal-yen
• creek or crick
• syrup or sere-up
• envelope or on-velope
• lidocaine or lid-o-caine

Bad inside family jokes posted just to make the kids laugh:

• vending or bending
• biscuit or b-kit
• foreigners or fur-ners
• brown hog or brown log
• mosaic or mose-e-ack
• vinyl or venil
• filet or fill-et
• ex-lax or egg slice

Did any of them make you laugh? Or are you just thinking we really are dumb?

Mine.

And other people’s.

It’s a gift and a curse that I see them.

I find typos in published bestsellers.

On CNN.

Restaurant menus. Signs. Flyers. Blogs.

Photo courtesy of victoriapeckham

It really should be my full-time job. Proofreader. I know people get paid for this. I’m not sure if it’s lucrative or how I break into the industry.

I’ve been a little too busy to find out. Raising our four darlings.

My real worry is that this next generation is at risk – the new school, text speak, computers, spell check and typing with two fingers are compromising our English skills.

My kids will tell you I’m a pretty big stickler for proofing their papers. Their very strict and old-fashioned years of elementary school set the foundation for my favorite kind of book learning. The kind where the teachers insist your handwriting is legible and your grammar is correct. Crazy, I know.

They are all excellent students with excellent writing skills. Because I think communication is pretty vital to your success both in school and life. (I’m still not sure how or why I needed Algebra as a life skill.) I am positive that good, basic English skills are used continuously throughout your life no matter what career path you choose.

I’m not an expert and I’m not the grammar police. In fact, part of the fun of blogging is to write in a conversational tone and throw out some of those old-fashioned grammar rules. Like…beginning a sentence with “And” which I love to do. And “Because” is my second favorite and I think it’s wrong too. Sometimes I get really wild and END a sentence with a preposition.

I know I make plenty of my own mistakes! But there are some common mistakes that are easily fixed and when I see them – they really add to my craziness. Maybe it’s the coma?

Seriously, I do remember how hard it was to write down the letters and the words after the head injury. And it gets progressively harder with old age.

But here are a few that really send me over the edge…

• your and you’re
• to and too
• there and their
• it’s and its
• a lot is two words

Photo courtesy of Jeffrey Beall

Don’t even get me started on the proper use of an apostrophe.

I think I’m going to start collecting my favorites and take screenshots when I see them on the web. It takes so very little to entertain me.

Last week, I saw these two on websites:

…I was hoping to here good news.

…taking an active roll in politics.

Anybody else see/read what I see?

Yeah, I know I’ve just opened myself up for critics, grammarians and proofreaders to have a field day with me and my blog.

Have at it. Bring it on. I’ll correct anything that needs correcting and probably learn a few more things in the process! I’m the first to admit it’s always harder to proof your own work than it is to proof someone else’s.

Cuz like I wanna make miself a more better righter.

Whatever.

I’d go with a 3 hour minimum.

Seems like the right amount of time and distance so the quick, impromptu, surprise visits happen rarely, if ever! A little bit of planning goes a long way. Wait, I’m getting off track. That’s a post for another day.

The topic today is WHY they should live in a dorm and not commute from home.

The list is long but since it’s Friday I’m keeping it simple.

This is the primary WHY…

So you don’t have to know that your 20 year-old is working on a project at 2:00 a.m. on the kitchen floor because his time management skills are less than stellar.

PhilBillPaul took up for him and asked me, “Didn’t you ever stay up all night and cram for an exam? This is the same thing.”

Why, yes, as a matter of fact I did stay up all night and do that.

But my mother was nestled in her bed 3 hours away and did not get involved or scream at me for losing her glue gun, not being prepared and/or worry that I was going to lose my scholarship if I didn’t get a good grade.

Side note: I didn’t have a scholarship. Illinois did not pay students to maintain a “B” average. Thank you Georgia state lottery funding, i.e. Hope Scholarship.

My mother did send cookies and write notes that were pretty much always the same except for the type of cookie in the box…

Sherra,
Here are some snickerdoodles. I hope you are getting some rest.

Love,
Mother

I should have scanned one. I have them all.

Thanks Mom.

And Mom…

I’m still trying to get some rest but your pumpkin is keeping me up late.

Was it a coincidence that I ripped this article out of Oprah magazine?

This article featured jeans under $100 which in magazine-land is a major bargain price.

In spite of the title, no thank you, I’m actually not looking for ways to build a better butt.

I’m always looking for great jeans at a reasonable price.

I wanted to find these jeans and try them on so I was saving the article.

Side note: I would also like to clarify that I do not share this particular woman’s problem of “whale tail” which is a new phrase I learned. Nor do I think I need a “push-up bra for my butt” I just liked the other features described.

$59 for great jeans is really a great price.

Then I noticed the price of the blouse.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME????????

Tell me if you have ever spent $700 on a blouse? Do I know you?

Holy cow, I just can’t get over that.

With my weak math skills I have figured out that with my $336 that I “saved” in February, I could…

Buy FIVE pairs of these jeans.

Or I’m not quite halfway to buying a new blouse.

What’s the most you’ve ever spent on a single article of clothing?

I’m going to ponder that while I wrap myself in one of my $7.00 sweaters…

Mostly made chic and cool because of the horrible economy.

This makes me chic and cool way before we were poor.

Which I think is the ultimate chic and cool.

Or not.

I have been a bargain shopper since my high school days.

It’s something about the thrill of not paying retail.

I’m the person who goes directly to the back of the store to the clearance racks and never even really looks at the mannequins in the window as I know I can’t afford it. And if I could, I would never pay retail.

Part of is the thrill of the find. The other part is saving money.

Look at what I scored for Scary Baby in February.

Yes, that’s right. 5 new articles of clothing ~ a hoodie, matching pants, a top and two sweaters. The very cute brown velour hoodie and matching pants were $2.99 each! Woo hoo!

Side note: Pictures of the aforementioned items would have been chic and cool. I was so busy scanning the receipts I obviously didn’t think about the actual clothes.

So glad I was shopping for new dress pants for myself. That’s why I ended up with 5 new sweaters and a top. Because you have to be flexible when bargain shopping.

Fortunately, I’m very flexible.

I do so love a store that doesn’t make me do that math.

According to Belk, I SAVED a grand total of $336.51.

Come back Wednesday to find out what I could do with all my savings!!

Until then, leave a comment and tell me about your best bargain score. What’s the best bargain you ever found while shopping? (Doesn’t have to be clothes…)

There are three free national park weekends with the first one starting this weekend, June 20th. The other weekends are July 18 and 19, and August 15 and 16.

It would be fun to be able to take advantage of one of these weekends. There’s still time to plan a semi-spontaneous family vacation! Or if you are lucky enough to live near one of the national parks, you should definitely take advantage of this opportunity!

I’d like to give a little Grand Canyon tip for anyone who is able to get there for a visit this summer. PhilBillPaul and I were lucky enough to visit in the quiet of December and it was breathtaking.

Towards the end of trip, this was really breathtaking.

In case you can’t see it, here is a close up…

An idiot who is on the WRONG side of the fence.

WHY OH WHY would you climb over a metal fence and rail to get one or two feet closer?

I couldn’t help but take a few pictures of the idiot. I like to teach the kids these little life lessons with words and pictures. It’s nice when an idiot provides you with a complete photo tutorial.

I was glad to capture this picture of him climbing back over to safety. I would not have wanted to photograph the alternative.

I think they like to keep the number of accidents, disappearances and rescue and recovery on the down low. We don’t want to scare the tourists from visiting. Really, I just think they should work on keeping the idiots from visiting.

They do have these handy informational signs posted around the trails.

In English, “People die here falling from the edge. Do not go beyond–or climb on–walls or railings. Most who die have gone beyond walls or rails.

Seriously? Yes, idiots keep signmakers in business.

Unfortunately, most idiots can’t read. The graphic probably just confuses them even more.

Hey, one more quick tip. Don’t forget to stop at the Wendy’s just before the South Rim entrance to have a $7.00 burger. The value menu is not available at this location.

PhilBillPaul bought one for my birthday five years ago before the kids decided they were cool. It took me several days to load our large and diverse CD collection on to my iMac via iTunes and have all my music in one place.

I love, love ebay.

We’ve shopped on ebay for almost 10 years. I love to find ebay bargains and we’ve even sold a few things on ebay through the years.

As a matter of fact, I bought the big kids their first ipods on ebay.

I love google.

More information than I could ever absorb. There is rarely a day that we don’t “google” for something.

Put my three loves together in the same room and I had a very happy Sunday afternoon.

My iPod battery wouldn’t hold a charge. Then it started freezing while it was sitting in my iHome charging dock/radio/alarm clock. I know that my 2nd iPod which is considered *old* and uncool but it suits me just fine and I didn’t want to buy a new one.

I went to ebay and bought this for $6.49 with free shipping…

I got the cute little kit complete with new battery and three tools from everydaysource, a great ebay store that we also buy all our printer ink from at a very reduced price!

Then I googled and watched this video so I could do this…

Disclaimer: Attempt repair at your own risk. But I do wonder how many people just toss their iPod when it stops working and it was only the battery?

And now my iPod works again.

WOO-HOO!

My technical skills have vastly improved as direct result of all the great DIY instructions I find on google.

Remember how I fixed my laptop earlier this year?

Maybe I should apply for a job at Apple.

What did you do this weekend?

I’ve known this since grade school. (We’ll save the endless list of current strange names for another post.)

Typically, the teachers, all the way through college would simply ignore the “a” at the end of Sherra and roll call usually went something like this:

Insert Ferris Bueller’s teacher voice here:

“Sherry? Sharon? Sheryl?”

My very rebellious nature led me to sit quietly while other students would whisper…

“The teacher is calling you.”

By college, when I finally broke out of my quiet, meek shell (not kidding) I had this awesome one-liner that my friend Ann says she clearly remembers as the first thing she heard me say in Freshman Seminar. I sometimes still use today.

“I’m Sherra, rhymes with Sara.”

Because I find it incredibly awkward to correct people in future meetings when they say, “Sharon?”

I’m not quite as flexible as PhilBillPaul, who you may remember, went for a solid YEAR and let someone call him “Paul.”

He likes to introduce us as Sharon and Bill just to confuse people. He’s funny like that.

I have lived through this name game and I’m no worse for the wear.

Then I saddle my firstborn with a name like The Grunter Everett, rhymes with umm…nothing.

I’m a firm believer in giving a kid a name that they can grow into instead out of.

Our college boy has grown into his name but I see now he may face some of the same problems I have. I learned this when he shared some student critiques from his Speech class.

The phonetic spelling of our last name is the best version yet. That a college student wrote it makes me worry about this generation we’re sending out in the big, bad world.

Evan is close and this student didn’t even attempt the last name. Way to play it safe.

Ahhh, meet my son, EverettEdwardEvan. He did get an “A” on his speech.

Little Lesson (LL): Names matter and it shows you care when you pay attention and get them right.

Share a Little Lesson (SALL): Are you good or bad with names? Have any tips that help you remember someone’s name?

But I don’t.

You might think I learned a few things even though I was both unprepared and unqualified with the first three, and I would be prepared and qualified to parent our totally planned LAST child.

But I didn’t.

Scary Baby’s claim to fame may well be that she made PhilBillPaul and I surrender.

I hope that is not her legacy.

Because I really do believe kids need and want boundaries even though their brains don’t know how to show and articulate this to the world.

This kid would force several child-rearing *experts* to re-write their books on strong-willed, stubborn children if they ever met her.

Unfortunately they won’t be able to meet her anytime soon.

Because she’s grounded again.

The sign went up on the front porch two weeks ago when she was grounded the first time of this school year.

The sign went up because she is very social and when the phone and door bell ring it is almost always for her. I have tried to scare the neighbor kids away but they just keep coming back. Either I’m not scary enough or Scary Baby is so much fun and totally worth facing the Scary Mom.

One week of freedom later and she’s grounded again.

Emotions run high in our house. I accepted that long ago. I am emotional. Prone to emotional outbursts both before and after the coma. I’ve always believed home is where you should feel safe enough to throw a fit if you need to. Sometimes you just have to let that all out. It’s hard to always be good and obedient and proper. Or is it just hard for me?

She has some real issues about staying up too late in her room after she has been tucked in and then falling apart in the morning in fits of hysterical crying and screaming about how tired she is and how she can’t go to school.

It makes for some really stressful mornings and some really grouchy parents.

I recognize that every child is different. I know this because every one of mine is remarkably different even though they’ve been reared by the same parents in the same house since birth. I just did not encounter this problem with the older kids. Only one is a morning person who wakes up singing – that darn Wizzy is Little Miss Merry Sunshine and she learned early not to talk to the rest of us in the morning.

In case the neighbors are reading, we’re sorry about the screaming and we’re working on some diet changes…less sugar, more protein and talking about self-control and making better choices.

BIG SIGH…

Little Lesson (LL): Putting your kids to bed earlier and earlier doesn’t necessarily guarantee that they will actually go to sleep.

Share a Little Lesson (SALL): Any tips on how to actually make them go to sleep? Using Benadryl, Nyquil, etc., does not count as a helpful tip especially if they’re not sick!