Finding the Funny
Wednesday, July 1, 2009, by Sherra
Scary Baby is back home.
With a new Texas-Bohemian look.
This means the end of The Grunter’s short-lived “I’m an only child again” phase.
It also means he can start blaming one of his sisters for putting the toilet lid up and not flushing.
I kid you not.
While we were in the 3 week “only child” phase, he actually said he did not put the lid up and he always flushes.
He’s totally busted after blaming his sisters for many years that they are sooooooo gross and he always flushes. (I’m just talking about pee here - seriously even my gross kids aren’t that gross.)
Big fat lie.
Totally gross.
But not as gross as what he has to deal with at work.
*** W A R N I N G ***
This may make you stop going to the movies.
Or at least wonder what the heck is wrong with people?
This was our text message conversation with him last week while we were in North Carolina. I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried…
Side note: Do not read while eating.
The Grunter (TG): Somebody made a poo on the floor of a theatre again.
Me: A baby or a grown-up poo?
TG: Grown up poo
TG: Or maybe a small horse
Me: Wow did u have to clean it up?
TG: Yes
Me: Where was the poo located specifically?
TG: Located on the floor in the front row.
Me: Did you get a gift card?*
TG: Nope I got nothing
Me: Publix should be looking good right now
Me: Any toilet paper near the pile?
TG: Nope the horse didn’t wipe. His butt is gonna itch…
*This is the 2nd incident. The 1st one he only smelled but never located until a movie patron located it IN A SEAT where they sat down IN IT. When the 3 lucky employees had to clean it up, they all got generous gift cards from the managers.
PhilBillPaul affectionately refers to this as a “Code Brown” from his year of hotel employment when they would walkie talkie each other when there was an incident in the pool. (Caddyshack anyone?)
Soon, I will be unable to function in public.
For some reason, our family (Grandma included) finds this cry-tears funny but also utterly disgusting. We actually made him call Grandma and relay the story to her on the phone after dinner last night.
Let me tell you, I inspect the seats before sitting down now.
Grandma has a good visual in her head of some poor soul (like me) walking in with thin sandals and slipping in the floor variety. (I’m trying to refrain from using the word “poo” too many times.)
So many unanswered questions.
WHO? WHEN? And most of all…WHY?
Anyone? Anyone?
I tell you he really earns those free movie tickets.
Another proud mom moment.
Thanks for letting me share.
Leave a comment and let me know if you laughed or you unsubscribe now.
Just sharing our real life. 
Popularity: 3%
Categories: Finding the Funny, Rants, Teens
Subscribe
Monday, June 29, 2009, by Sherra
Just doing our part to keep our relationship with Sprint fresh and new.
As in…we’ve renewed our vows that we took way back in 2000. That means, two more years of our already long-term relationship.
We got the girls new phones for their birthday and The Grunter and PhilBillPaul didn’t want to be left out.
I admit that their new Samsung Rant phones seem pretty slick. What with the sliding keyboard - now standard on many phones. I’m pretty partial to Wizzy’s. I think she picked the best color.
I figured the advantages of all of them having the same phones were numerous. They can share chargers and swap cases. More importantly, they can tutor Dad because Cellular Phil (that’s what I call him when he shouts into his phone “Can you hear me now”) needs tutoring. There are just too many features on these newfangled gadgets for him to figure it all out.
I have threatened to get him one of those Jitterbug phones or something similar. He often finds himself in a quandary because he can’t read the text messages because he can’t find his glasses.
I think it is an appropriate solution to his dwindling eyesight but coupled with his hearing loss, he just gets all grouchy and takes it personally declaring
“I don’t need a dog yet.”
“Yet” is the operative word here.
Anyway…
Much like the ipod, I had a smart phone with a keyboard way before the kids all wanted one. “So geeky, mom” is a comment I recall hearing.
Now it seems you are a total geek if you don’t have a phone with a keyboard.
So…are you a texting mom or are you still a holdout and refuse to communicate in teen speak?
No judgment - remember I’m still holding out on the Facebook *fad* that might pass.
Or not.
Popularity: 4%
Categories: Finding the Funny, Teens
Subscribe
Monday, June 22, 2009, by Sherra
Does the word retired mean that we will be more tired than we are now even though we have not retired yet?
I thought of this as PhilBillPaul and I drove back from North Carolina late Sunday after playing 36 holes of golf and thinking of ways we can move there before we retire.
Especially since we probably can’t retire until we are around 95 and by then we’ll probably be too old and {re}tired to even play golf…
36 holes of bad golf is still better than no golf.
Even though I can barely move my right arm because playing golf a few times a year moves muscles I didn’t know I had.
Um yeah, it’s official. We are old.
And tired.
I’m hoping PhilBillPaul will stop wincing with sound effects whenever he moves because he hurt himself playing on Sunday–he plays less than I do. And he’s older than me.
In spite of that…
Great food, friends and fun made for a perfect weekend.
Thanks Toni & Randy 
What did you do over the weekend?
Popularity: 5%
Categories: Finding the Funny, Friends
Subscribe
Friday, June 19, 2009, by Sherra
This is a followup to my fine dining in Atlanta post.
Because I’m pretty sure another one of our favorite restaurants does not fall in the “Fine Dining” category. Except for us, since our definition of fine dining really just means a good meal at a reasonable price.
We go here at least once or twice a month. Partly because we love, love, love breakfast. And partly because we love, love, love a cheap meal.
We go for the biscuit and gravy. While we do live in the South, we are still Midwesterners at heart and cannot eat grits.
Tell me where you can get a full meal like this for $5.00 bucks?
Seriously, tell me - because we’d like to go there and eat this month!
Popularity: 5%
Categories: Finding the Funny, Food
Subscribe
Wednesday, June 10, 2009, by Sherra
fine –adjective
1. of superior or best quality; of high or highest grade: fine wine
Fine is a subjective word. Your “fine” and my “fine” can be two very different things. Your perception and opinion may vary greatly from mine.
That’s okay. I’m fine with that.
Our differences are what make the world go ’round.
I’m willing to bet that my definition of fine dining doesn’t match yours.
Typically, “fine dining” implies upscale…expensive…gourmet.
But for me and luckily, for PhilBillPaul, our definition of fine dining is really about good food that is not expensive, usually not gourmet and an atmosphere that fascinates us but usually does not fall in the upscale category.
We are always in search of great local restaurants wherever we go.
With the size of metropolitan Atlanta, there are endless opportunities to try restaurants both near and far.
If you come to Atlanta, be sure to find one of the six Zesto restaurants in the area. You may have heard of The Varsity but it’s not our favorite.
Our personal favorite is Zesto.
Side note: We’ve never tried the oysters. Ewwww. And apparently they have salads for you health nuts. See…something for everyone.
What’s Our Favorite?
So glad you asked. We love, love, love their chili dogs and crinkle french fries.
Top that off with an Oreo or Butterfinger Arctic Swirl and you can thank me later.
I don’t care how fan-cee you are, a good hot dog or cheeseburger, crinkle french fries and ice cream is FINE dining!!!!
A final tip: Be sure to empty your trash before you go through the
drive-thru. Zesto employees are not authorized to take your trash.
Come visit us this summer and we’ll take you to Zesto for a fine dining experience!
What’s one of your favorite local restaurants?
P.S. Be sure and check out the two different great giveaways this week at iLash Girls! The Fun, Fun & More Fun Giveaway has two great summer items. I need to get Scary Baby some of that sidewalk paint and who wouldn’t love a new, bright beach bag?!
Leigh Anne and I have had so much fun learning to blog we want to help others and share what we have learned! So if you have ever thought about starting a blog we’re offering a giveaway for some Fun and Free Blog Startup Help.
Popularity: 9%
Categories: Finding the Funny, Food
Subscribe
Monday, June 8, 2009, by Sherra
Her suitcase has been packed since the day we told her she was going…
Which was last Tuesday.
She left yesterday.
But before PhilBillPaul put her on a plane on Sunday afternoon…
He took her up to the North Georgia mountains for some quality Dad/Daughter time…
Ahem. Yes, he did. On that girlfriend.
I wish I had a close-up photo of that wiener dog tattoo she plastered on her left cheek. Really a nice look.
Remember, I lost control a long time ago.
Scary Baby is now at Granny’s house in Texas.
For the record, I have never, ever sent any of my kids anywhere without one of us.
Well, the twins did get to go to Tampa on their 16th birthday which was a giant step of freedom and now looking back, may have begun the downward spiral?
Anyway, we’ve gone from six to three in a matter of two weeks.
It’s just me and PhilBillPaul and The Grunter.
It occurred to me on Sunday afternoon that we have come full circle because 18 years ago in June - at least until the 25th, The Grunter was an only child. He will get to experience that again, but only for a couple of weeks.
No…I’m actually not crying, thank you very much.
I’m quietly rejoicing in the silence in my house. I might even sneak away on a little trip myself.
Thank you Granny for being brave enough to fly Scary Baby to your house and give us a much needed parenting break!!!!!!!!
It’s only June but this has been the longest year of my life…
Popularity: 8%
Categories: Finding the Funny, Moments, Teens, Tweens
Subscribe
Friday, June 5, 2009, by Sherra
But I told PhilBillPaul in the early years not to waste money on flowers - I’m just not a good flower receiver.
Don’t misunderstand me. I’m appreciative of the rose or two he brings me from time to time. I know it is a sweet gesture. But he learned long ago that a dozen roses is not my love language.
Still, Mr. Wonderful is always on the lookout for original, thoughtful gifts for me. This week, maybe because the darling twins are gone, or maybe just because he loves me…
Here is what he brought home for me…
He was so proud of these purchases. He found this wholesale store that has bargains galore. In case you can’t see, the clothespins were a dollar.
Side note: I do not hang clothes outside to dry. We use them for chip bag clips. Obviously…we have a lot of chips.
The Grunter happily modeled my favorite gift of all.
Well, sort of.
I think since they have the American Flag on them, PhilBillPaul should go back to this amazing store and get everyone in the family their own (also ONE dollar). We can wear them to the darling twins’ Basic Training graduation which is outside in August and it might rain.
It will be a proud moment. I’ll be sure and take pictures.
Let me know if you want PhilBillPaul to pick up any clothespins, umbrella hats or $3 squeeze breezes for you when he goes back to the store…
P.S. I’d give the store a plug but he doesn’t actually know the name of it.
Popularity: 9%
Categories: Finding the Funny, Teens
Subscribe
Thursday, May 28, 2009, by Sherra
Here’s how PhilBillPaul helped while I made one of our final family dinners before the darling twins left for Boot Camp.
He introduced both of our mothers to his girlfriend…
Yes, friends and relatives, that is MY MOTHER riding with PhilBillPaul and his girlfriend. People who know her will understand the shock of this photo.
Rumor has it that Grandma Hannah actually whispered these words to PhilBillPaul when he asked her if she had fun as they were coming in the house:
“Maybe we could do that again before I leave”
And not to be outdone by Grandma Hannah, Granny Sandy jumped on next.
They zoomed by me in a blur.
Or maybe they weren’t going all that fast…and it was my bad photography skillz as I thought we really don’t need to have a motorcycle accident the day before graduation, DO WE?
Luckily, they all arrived back home safe and sound. Because PhilBillPaul is
a very safe driver.
I did not intend to take a 10 day blogging hiatus.
Really, I didn’t.
There is so much to tell. So much to share. So many new gray hairs.
I promise to catch up and get back in a *normal* routine…
Next week.
After I sleep for about 72 hours this weekend.
Popularity: 9%
Categories: Finding the Funny, Teens
Subscribe
Monday, May 18, 2009, by Sherra
So I found out that at least one of the darling twins who shall remain nameless was telling everyone that there would be a bar at their graduation party.
This is extra funny since I don’t drink.
And do not condone minor drinking.
In spite of that…
We did have two bars at their party last Friday.
Bar #1 ~ A Taco Bar
The crockpots full of meat were shredded chicken, pork and beef. I did not want to use the oven for anything on the day of the party so this worked out well.
If you are interested in the recipes which received rave reviews, just click below:
I also made mexican rice and black beans neither of which I eat but friends said were good. Fresh tortilla chips, salsa, crispy taco shells and shredded cheese from our favorite local Mexican restaurant rounded out the taco bar.
Side note: Thank goodness for great neighbors who loaned us crockpots and great serving dishes to keep costs down.
Bar #2 ~ A Candy Bar
It seemed to be a big hit with all ages.
This kid cracks me up every time I see him.
I was pretty sure we couldn’t go wrong with a candy bar!
Even if the cute little graduation caps melted on the sticks and slid down to the bottom because it was 85 degrees that day. Let’s not talk about our air conditioning problems right now, kay? 
The high school colors are maroon, navy blue and gold.
Did you know it is very hard to find navy or royal blue sugar?
I had found this cool place on the internet near us and we went last Monday - the exact same day that blogging rockstar and cake pop queen Bakerella featured the store. I think we should be friends and I really think I should have emailed her and asked begged her to come and make cake pops or cupcake bites for the party.
Because this is what my feeble attempt looked like.
Which may not look all that bad to you if you’ve never seen Bakerella’s adorable creations. I’m not encouraging you to but if you must you can click over to her site and confirm yet another calling I really didn’t miss.
We had red velvet with cream cheese frosting and lemon with lemon frosting. Everyone was fascinated that you could eat the whole thing - I should have made a tent card that said “Entirely edible” because people tried to peel the bottom like it was cupcake paper but it was actually melted white chocolate.
Or I could have just ordered a cake from Costco. Yeah, I considered that after making three test batches of cake pop blobs.
We called these Triple Chocolate Army Helmets.
Even though we made them in a truffle mold. Yeah, helmets - way more appropriate then truffles on sticks.
We added PhilBillPaul and Scary Baby’s patriotic pretzels and the candy bar served its purpose.
The party was lovely. Really it was.
Now if we can get through the graduation on Thursday…
P.S. Though there was no official *bar*, PhilBillPaul did serve a few Mexican beers to the grownups.
Popularity: 15%
Categories: Finding the Funny, Food, Friends, Milestones, Moments, Teens
Subscribe
Monday, May 11, 2009, by Sherra
Mother’s Day 2009 is imprinted in my memory.
Not for the usual reasons of past years in my “perfect” life.
Side note: A few weeks ago, my sister and a friend told me that they think I should be more real because everything at my house always sounds so good.
I laughed at them but was a little puzzled. I guess me writing about spiraling into depression, getting a phone call from the high school principal and taking xanax now and again is too upbeat and perky for some people.
Yeah, I’ll work on that
Back to Mother’s Day. In past years, Saint PhilBillPaul has had the kids make me breakfast in bed and make lovely homemade cards, taken me out for brunch or dinner and all the other cliché but wonderful things that moms love.
This year…
not so much.
But in the midst of the day, I did receive this heartfelt and touching card.
WARNING
Do not scroll down if you are eating or if you are offended by super short shorts.
That’s my girl. And I especially love how she signed with her last initial “H” because otherwise I wouldn’t have known who it was from.
Roger Leroy has inherited the same warped sense of humor that the rest of us have.
The card is a winner even if Mother’s Day wasn’t.
I’m saving some of my more real venting for a later date.
Perhaps in about two weeks and two days.
Because that’s how much time is left before the darling twins have here at home with us before they graduate and then ship to basic training.
For now, I’m still trying to respect their privacy.
Until then, please leave a comment and share some warm, fuzzy Mother’s Day moments that will help me remember when they were tiny and cute.
P.S. Scary Baby did make me a sweet book of poems at school in her handwriting complete with her own drawings!
Popularity: 13%
Categories: Finding the Funny, Rants, Teens
Subscribe
RSS Subscription
E-Mail Subscription
