Real life. Real lessons.
I know we have a 10 year-old here at the Humpfreeze house so I try to keep the blog PG with an occasional PG-13.
There are few words that can accompany this. Other than we went to get a bill of sale notarized at the bank because Wizzy is buying my beloved blue VW bug.
Why, oh, why wouldn’t you change your full legal name?
PhilBillPaul and Wizzy thought I said that way too loud as we walked out of the office.
Whatever.
Can we review the question I posed in February when I revealed my unhealthy addiction to The Bachelor?
“Which person do you want to bring home to your parents and will fit in with your family, friends, lifestyle and personal values?”
Vienna Sausage is that GIRL?!!
Seriously?!!
Fit in with your family?
Fit in with your friends?
Fit in with lifestyle?
Fit in with your personal values?
That would be no, no, no and no according to everything we saw and what he revealed about himself.
And especially after we saw his whole family.
He decided to play the role of “bad boy” and pick the “dirty girl”.
Wrong on so many levels but I’m sure I’ll tune into their wedding next year.
That will probably be after I enter a 12-step recovery program to break this addiction after fast forwarding through those 3 hours last night.
And if I didn’t get enough of Jake during this lame, lame season…
ABC has the audacity to have him as one of the contestants on Dancing With The Stars.
Or as I like to call it “Dancing With The Stars Who Are Sometimes Not Stars or Have Never Been Stars.”
Which will now live up to its title by including Kate Gosselin and Jake. Why didn’t they round it out with the Octomom for an even dozen contestants?
I can totally picture Jake and Pamela Anderson hitting it off. It’s a shame they can’t be partners.
The only word I can think of to describe the whole thing right now…
Icky.
P.S. For a play-by-play of the whole excruciating finale without having to watch it – don’t miss i hate green beans very funny recap of the whole thing.
We spent time with our only child – Scary Baby – who has informed us that she’s not really enjoying her special time as an only child.
Her words: “I’m still not getting any attention.”
Wow, another resounding endorsement of our parenting skills. Not that we’re listing her as a reference.
We get this text as we were leaving Jenna’s basketball game…
Wizzy (6:27 pm): Messed up my foot im on the way to the er. 
Im hurtin
Nothing like having your kid at the Emergency Room a few states away. Obviously, we’re still new at this separation thing.
Next, the Grunter calls during dinner and asks if we can bring his prescription to work for him.
Side note: After the steroid shot and new antibiotic, he proceeded to break out in hives last week. Which got him another round of steroids which is what he forgot to take to work after missing two weeks.
While we waited to hear how Wizzy was doing and spent more quality time with Scary Baby at dinner and grocery store, we stopped by the house and picked up The Grunter’s medicine.
This was our text message exchange:
Me: Confirm w/me what u need us to bring u
Everett: My steroid with the pink cap
Me: Can u come to mall door when we get there?
no response
Me: We’re on our way & we will leave it in the first potted plant on the right when u walk out if u can’t meet us at main mall door.
Everett: I cannot come out. If you can’t bring it up to door then don’t bother with something stupid. I just won’t take it.
Me: Baby
no response
Me: Have the hives zapped ur sense of humor?
The Grunter: Yessir
Almost at this same moment, Roger Leroy sent me this text:
Roger Leroy (9:27 pm): The xray was fine. And she just hurt the ligaments and she should be fine.
Sunday afternoon’s live conversation…
Me: You were kind of ugly about your medicine when we were going out of our way to bring it to you, don’t you think?
The Grunter: I can’t leave when I’m working.
Me: OH PLEASE. I’ve seen you all at work. Don’t tell me you can’t say “Hey, I’ll be back in 5 minutes, I’ve gotta run to the front door…hold my broom, will ya?”
The Grunter: I CAN’T.
Me: It’s not like you’re on high security detail at the movies. Give me a break. You could be a little nicer when we were helping you out!
The Grunter: Bye.
Me: Have a lovely day pumpkin.
Sunday night’s email picture update:
And finally, this sweet little status on Roger Leroy’s Facebook that I saw on Saturday night after all the fun…
Sweet on the surface.
Until I asked her what she missed about home. And she clarified that she meant she missed…
Georgia.
Yes, this is my real life.
How was your weekend?
