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Husband Keeps Girlfriend in Garage

Monday, October 6, 2008 By 18 Comments

Because I feel like we’re all close personal friends and I need to have a tangible record of the dysfunction that is my life, I’m writing this story today.

PhilBillPaul met her in March of this year.

He actually brought her to our house.

She stays in the garage.

I’ve met her. The kids have met her.

Believe it or not, my daughters are very intrigued by her.

Which is awkward and continues to be a BIG problem.

I wasn’t the least bit impressed with her.

She is younger than me.

Whatever.

Though younger doesn’t always mean prettier. Or in better shape.

Apparently her personality made up for what she definitely lacked in the looks department.

Score one more for PhilBillPaul in the Mr. Nice Guy category for not being shallow. Instead, he is obviously attracted to her personality.

Whatever.

Surely I wouldn’t leave you all hanging without showing you a picture or two of this intruder.

motorcycleA

She doesn’t even have all her parts.

motorcycleB

Lovely, isn’t she?

Lucky for her, PhilBillPaul has spent the past six months with her and has done an “Extreme Makeover” on her.

motorcycleC

I’m going out on a limb here and breaking one of my cardinal rules ~ one of my favorite life lessons which is “Never Say Never.”

I will never be friends with her.

I will never understand this relationship.

I will never accept this relationship.

Some of you may have similar relationship struggles.

We’re 4 days away from 21 years of marriage. Please don’t misunderstand.

Our shelves are filled with family albums of wonderful memories of our years together. I am thankful I have recorded the story of our life with words and pictures.

But as many of you know from this blog and most who know me realize I’m just not very good at keeping my feelings hidden. I like to be transparent so no one has to guess where they stand with me.

Let me be perfectly clear when I say I am not jealous of his girlfriend.

Not even a hint of jealousy when he bought a new leather jacket so he could look good while he rides his new girlfriend.

Side note: There was no nice way to say that. I tried. Really I did.

Even though he’ll tell you the jacket is protective gear.

motorcycleD

I’m sure his other protective gear is backordered. Leather pants and boots are needed to complete this geeky hot new look.

Oh yeah, I’m hot all right.

But mostly, it just makes me sad.

No one will be able to convince me to support or celebrate his choice.

And I will refrain from telling you the horrific, tragic motorcycle stories that I have personally been affected by.

Because he sold his motorcycle the first year we were married at my insistence and he is now reneging on our agreement.

Because I am a mother with three teenagers driving in a community with too many cars and cell phones and distractions, I cannot be supportive of this choice.

Because I am a mother who was spent these past years trying to teach the kids about all the risks they will face in their lifetime and sometimes choosing the less risky path may not provide as much instant gratification and fun.

Because I am a mother who believes that after you have children, your choices change dramatically and the lifestyle and choices you had as a single person become a fleeting memory.

Because I am a mother and a wife and a head injury survivor, the girlfriend and I are just never going to peacefully co-exist.

Because he doesn’t get a free pass from me when he is knowingly spitting in the face of danger and ignoring my wishes.

Because I have a blog I can announce to the world that if anything happens to him I’m relinquishing my wifely duties because I did not sign up for this.

But please, feel free to continue loving PhilBillPaul and wondering how
“Poor Phil” puts up with me.

I’ll be busy here remembering a man who wore a different leather jacket back in 1987 when he wrapped me up in that jacket to keep me warm and safe in his loving arms…

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Filed Under: Finding the Funny, Moments, Rants

Flexible Friday #16:
Participation Required Please

Thursday, October 2, 2008 By 7 Comments

I’m planning a few changes and tweaks with my site in the near future.

I’d love to hear from each and every one of you about…

  • What you like.
  • What you don’t like.
  • What you’d like to see more of.
  • What you’d like to see less of.

Like maybe me not ending sentences with a preposition.*

Or like me not starting sentences with the word “like.”

Or like not even using the word “like.”

Bring it on. Leave a comment below.

Remember if you are reading this through email subscription or an RSS reader you have to click through to the website.

In the two most used words of my mom, my Aunt Jane, my cousin Sally and me, please try to…

BE NICE.

Think of me fondly as I go to another cross country race on Saturday without a chair and not running into the woods after my daughters.

Have a great weekend!

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*Like I totally feel a lot better about the preposition issue since I just learned this thanks to dictionary.com

Could someone please verify this and then notify my high school English teachers?

—Usage note The often heard but misleading “rule” that a sentence should not end with a preposition is transferred from Latin, where it is an accurate description of practice. But English grammar is different from Latin grammar, and the rule does not fit English. In speech, the final preposition is normal and idiomatic, especially in questions: What are we waiting for? Where did he come from? You didn’t tell me which floor you worked on.

Filed Under: Moments, Random Thoughts

Cross Country is a Grueling
High School Sport

Wednesday, October 1, 2008 By 4 Comments

Our senior daughters are on the cross country team at their high school.

3.1 miles constitutes a race and whether you are the first one across the finish line or the last one across the finish line…

I consider every single runner a winner!

In fact, any sport where you cry and throw up at the finish line makes you a winner in my book.

In today’s society where physical education programs have been cut and kids are in front of the TV or computer, I give a shout out to any kid who juggles school and participates in athletics.

It is far easier to choose not to participate. Just ask The Grunter.

But then he’ll throwdown with his athletic twin sisters about how
he completed his first year of college during his senior year.

Then a parent usually has to intervene.

When we’re not busy making
Scary Baby remove flyers in the neighborhood.

Back to Cross Country…

I’ve very proud of our girls and particularly our redhead daughter Wizzy who has run all four years in high school. It is not a natural talent for her – this long distance running thing. She is long and lanky but she is also stiff and has an irregular heartbeat (inherited from her Dad).

She also has that darn twin sister Roger Leroy, who appears to be good at anything she tries. When she was “forced by us” to run Cross Country her sophomore year – we wanted them to run to condition themselves for the basketball season – ole’ Roger Leroy went out in the time trials and snagged the last Varsity spot on her first try. Top seven runners make Varsity but that changes week to week based on previous race results.

The whole sport has been a new experience for our family. I noted at the first race four years ago that it really isn’t a spectator sport unless you, yourself, are also a cross country runner. Seems after the race starts, parents actually chase their kids into the woods and cheer them on.

I was baffled.

Then I asked where the finish line was.

Now, that’s what I find out at every race.

Then I position myself near the finish line to cheer the girls on.

I only brought a chair the first and second year. Hush already.

Last week the girls ran in a race at their school’s course. Remember how I’ve written about how we love sports and all that it teaches kids? How important it is to be a good loser as well as a gracious winner. Our no gloating rule.

It was a proud moment when I snapped this picture of Roger Leroy and three runner friends last week displaying cards that show the order they finished.

XC girls fake numbers

She has never finished in the NUMBER ONE spot before.

WOW. What an accomplishment in her senior year.

She didn’t gloat. Has she actually learned something from us?

But, then again, maybe we put too much emphasis on NOT gloating and did not put enough emphasis on being honest.

XC girls real finish

Oh wait, that was just some good old-fashioned teenage HUMOR. Here are their real numbers. Ahhh, funny, funny girls.

Meanwhile, you might be asking – where is my sweet Wizzy?

WizzySharteXC

She didn’t want her picture taken. There were a lot of tears. She had a rough race even though she did great and finished nineteenth!

She was being consoled by Sharté because there were some very, very bad displays of poor sportsmanship by parents. And from her own teammate.

The same teammate whom she has consoled after many races in past years when her own parents made her cry.

This teammate has had a surge of improvement in her time and actually beat Wizzy.

It’s not the beating – it’s the gloating. It is the parents gloating. I know it happens in almost every sport.

But it doesn’t mean it will ever be right.

And it will always be sad.

For all of our kids…

Life Lesson (LL): The apple not falling far from the tree becomes very obvious when parents are seen setting a bad example right in front of everyone’s kids.

Share a Life Lesson (SALL): How do you handle over-the-top parents and at what age do you stop intervening when the kids and the parents are hurtful to your kids?

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Filed Under: Friends, Life Lessons, Moments, Teens
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