2008 April

Mean Mom vs. Nice Dad

Monday, April 7, 2008 By Sherra 23 Comments

I’m a Mean Mom.

PhilBillPaul is a Nice Dad.

Our roles have been clearly defined for many years.

My role as the mean mom has become extraordinarily difficult during these teen years.

Valium difficult.

I won’t go into a play-by-play of all my meanness this weekend. I’ll save it for another post.

Suffice to say, “I am mean and always say no and am always in a bad mood.”

I’m paraphrasing one of the teens’ rant with tears about how mean I am. The only thing ~~she~~ the darling didn’t say is that I’m mean.

Some day I’ll also go into detail about how Nice Dad just wants “everybody to be happy.”

Which is a beautiful sentiment. Really it is.

He was put here on earth to make me look even meaner.

I often fantasize about living in a crappy little apartment (crappy little beach cottage would be even better) and letting Nice Dad and the teens live in funland and squalor.

I’m not saying I would abandon my family–they could most certainly come visit me.

PhilBillPaul could even call and come pick me up for a date.

I would be willing to work them all into my busy schedule.

My therapist didn’t think this was such a keen idea when I ran it by her last week.

But then again, she doesn’t live at my house, now does she?

Just thinking out loud here. (sigh)

I dream of little things like…

Clean dish towels with no dried food on them
My scissors and tape being in the drawer where I put them
A coffee table that doesn’t have sticky I-don’t-know-what-on-it
More than 3 squares of toilet paper in the guest bathroom
Not tripping on anything when I go up or down the stairs

I’m showing my shallow side. I know this.

I have issues. i know this too.

Just venting because I’m sure I’ll feel better if I just SHARE this with you.

And I wonder if anyone else feels this way?

And the Valium doesn’t seem to be working…

Filed Under: Random Thoughts, Rants, Teens

High Alert: Man on Board Blog

Friday, April 4, 2008 By Sherra 19 Comments

I am well aware that this site is read primarily by women. I’m fine with that.

In fact, reader comments are 98% women strong.

Yesterday that became 97%.

Rarely, if ever, will a comment become an actual post. That would be redundant.

But I also assume that many of you may never go back to an old post and read the comments.

Am I right? (I know I shouldn’t assume…)

In this instance, I felt deeply compelled to be sure you all didn’t miss this award-winning comment.

Okay, maybe not award-winning, because that infers there was a competition or a contest and there wasn’t.

If there was a contest, this is the blog badge I would bestow on the winner.

The winner could put their award badge on their blog to celebrate and brag about their achievement.

If there was a contest, the winning comment would be found…where else but here…

Wiener Dog Monday!

Instead of a contest and because he doesn’t have a blog…

I’d like to introduce you to Command Sergeant Major Daniel Bowman.

He also happens to be the husband of my wiener dog-loving friend, Ann.

He wrote this comment and to say I was surprised would be a huge understatement.

I have thought long and hard how to contribute to this insightful place on the web without emasculating myself. All of the pseudo pink/purple hues that border the home page have made me swear not to tell the fellow members of my man world a thing about it. Sorry Sherra.

But having close ties with a contributor and a real feeling that life lessons need to be shared, I’m jumping in. It’s funny how we (or maybe it’s just me) learn things. Take friendship. Oh, not the friendship you find in a pick-up basketball game or a friendship you make at work, a real deep friendship that is closer and more real than I can fathom. I have friends and since my return from my tour of duty in Iraq I have some VERY close friends, but not the type of friendship that I have observed between my wife and the author of this web site.

Sherra, I’m jealous. Maybe jealous is too weak of a word, but I can’t think of another. I’ve never heard two people laugh so hard or talk so long on the phone about who knows what. How can two college sorority sisters who met over 26 years ago be so emotionally close to each other? Heck their relationship is closer than the one my wiener dog and I have with my wife and the three of us sleep in the same bed!

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining, I’m a man of few words and anytime that massive verbal trail of every detail of my wife’s day and menstrual cycle can be directed to someone else’s ear, it’s a “praise the baby Jesus moment” for me.

I do wish I had that. Not the menstrual cycle, but the ability to share every detail of my life with someone (who’s not my spouse), who doesn’t judge or get paid for acting like they care. A true unselfish friend. When I look back to when I was away from my family for 15+ months I remember how my concerns were turned upon myself and my Soldiers.

I left my wife to fend for herself four thousand miles away, paying bills, raising our children, calling a plumber, and scratching the dog’s back. I only had 15 minutes on a phone every 2-3 days, that is if it didn’t go dead in the middle of a conversation and very limited email access. No time to discuss those details of the day, only enough time to verify that I was still alive and kicking.

Thank God for Sherra. She filled in for me and I owe her my thanks.

There’s a saying within the Military; “America isn’t at war, the Army’s at war, America’s at the Mall.”

My version is a bit different “America isn’t at war, the Army and its Soldier’s families and FRIENDS are at war…”

Thanks Sherra.

I can assure you Dan (and any other men who are lurking here) that you did not emasculate yourself. Women love words and Ann & I both loved yours. You are speaking our love language, dear!

It was my pleasure to be there for Ann while you were in Iraq serving our country with pride and honor. Thank YOU, Dan.

xoxoxo

P.S. Now don’t be a weenie…go tell all your manly friends that you were featured on a girly blog

Filed Under: Finding the Funny, Friends, Life Lessons, Love Languages, Raves

Little Lesson #4 Kids & Clothing

Wednesday, April 2, 2008 By Sherra 3 Comments

Here’s a little wardrobe management tip for those of you with kids young enough to instill some positive, early habits that will serve you all well through high school (hopefully).

With all four of my kids, I have found much success with starting them young on appropriate clothing selection. I’m sure another mother gave me this sage advice but with old age comes a fleeting memory.

Early, before our kids’ school went to uniforms (amen – I’m a huge uniform advocate – I would lobby for them in any school at any age!) we selected school clothes and after school/weekend clothes. Initially, we had separate drawers but then I found this marvelous invention.

Don’t ask me why there is a teddy bear in the Monday cube. I guess you can use it to sort toys?

There were several reasons this system worked great for us:

It eliminated any early morning battles because mama doesn’t function well in the morning.
It established a night time routine where they always needed to have their outfit ready for the next day including shoes and socks.
It was visual so dad could handle the system when mom wasn’t home.
It set clear expectations for what they could and couldn’t wear to school.
It was non-negotiable.

We did allow them to have a few of the character or shirts with writing that were not deemed appropriate for school. Nothing mean or nasty, mind you. Rather, the humorous or smartie pants shirts that I’m sure you’ve all seen.

They could wear these on the weekends or they could be sleep shirts.

Side note: The Grunter might just have a shirt that says “I love my wie#%r” with a graphic of a wiener dog. Ann’s son might have received the same shirt as a birthday gift from our family. I’m just saying they might…

I’ve had lively discussions with other mothers about their strong belief in letting their children pick out there own clothes and express their individuality.

Lucky for all of us, we all live in the land of the free and are entitled to our opinion.

Here is mine.

Forget about expressing their individuality. I always said they have PLENTY of time to do that when they get home and on the weekends. Make teachers’ lives easier. The clothing kids are wearing these days is ridiculous.

In addition, uniforms eliminate stress and the competition at school over labels and brands which I’ve always found ridiculous.

Did my kids love uniforms? No. Did I care? No.

They aren’t suppose to love everything. They don’t really love the uniforms they are required to wear for their part-time jobs. They aren’t really allowed to express their individuality at work either. Go figure.

This is the first year that I don’t have any kids in uniforms. I’m grateful that the clothing system was ingrained early in the big kids’ lives. The girls have their outfits out the night before and it is a huge timesaver since they leave the house at 6:30 a.m. (However, they have abandoned their cube organizer.)

Scary Baby has her organizer hanging in the corner where dad mounted it so we can all see that she has her outfit ready. It’s a great week if she actually picks her outfits for the whole week on Sunday night but that doesn’t always happen.

Many stores sell these great organizers. Try Target or Kohl’s.

If your school doesn’t require uniforms, you as the parent, can and should go over what clothing is appropriate for school and then stick to it.

Every school has a dress code and adhering to that dress code is the responsibility of all of us.

From elementary to high school, I continue to be shocked and appalled at some of the “get-ups” I see kids go to school in.

Our kids’ job is to go to school and be a student. Our job as parents is to make sure they are dressed appropriately and I don’t think that should be the subject of a big debate.

Common sense is the answer.

That’s my opinion…what’s yours?