Back in 1988, my new friend, Mr. Psychologist, who was helping me cope with the side effects of the head injury recovery process, shared a word picture that helps me even today.
He said, “Everyone has a sack of pebbles they carry on their back. Some have larger pebbles than others. Some have more pebbles. Some have less.”
I then announced “if everyone has pebbles then I have BOULDERS in my sack.” Remember, head injury patients are prone to ill-timed emotional outbursts and I was a textbook case. These days when I act out I just yell “Coma” so everyone remembers it’s not my fault. It doesn’t really work all that often but can you blame me for trying?
Focus, Sherra, focus.
Okay, so the real lesson here is not that I have boulders and you don’t. I believe we all have pebbles, rocks and boulders and we all cope with them in very different ways.
Your boulders may be bigger and heavier than mine. They come in all shapes and sizes and weights. (Hey, just like people.) We’re not here to judge anyone’s boulders so please, let’s start by not judging mine. We are not in a boulder competition. I repeat, this is not a competition!
Rather, we need to look for ways to help each other see past the boulders, move them, chip them away – do whatever it takes to get that other human being around, over or out from behind the boulder.
Upon realizing that The Black Hole (TBH) was a giant boulder and it was getting in the way of my day-to-day life, I knew I had to do something.
The first thing I did was to make a doctor’s appointment with my OB/gyn. It conveniently coincided with that extra-special annual appointment that we all love so much. I did feel a tiny bit productive multi-tasking like that.
I’m pretty verbal (as if you haven’t already figured that out) and I know the importance of being my own medical advocate. I shared with my doctor who I had been seeing since just after the twins were born, that I was having a hard time “coping” at home and my PMS seemed to be lasting, on average, about 28 to 30 days every month.
I really believe that knowing the rhythm of our bodies is crucial for our health and well-being.
My doctor listened, nodded, and made some notes on his new hi-tech laptop that held my new paperless medical records.
Then he sent me home with the latest, greatest anti-depressant and patted me on the back and said to call if I needed anything else…
To be continued…
If you missed part one…
Or to read more of the riveting story that I probably should just turn into a free ebook…